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Dec 13, 2013

Confessions of a horny Virgin: Activation


I grew up with the fear in my heart of getting pregnant if I ever had sex.
Mother had done a good Job of making me understand the implication of getting pregnant and I knew I didn't want to be the girl with big belly going to the tailor's shop to resume work after dropping out, automatically sex was a NO-NO! So, I zipped up.

Getting to secondary school and seeing young girls like me living the "aristo" life I knew I didn't want to be part of that. I know my mother was just doing her bit to make us choose right but we 'chose' right out of fear without alot of knowledge on the topic.
High school, different children from different backgrounds, Influence and peer pressure flying all around I got armed with information, with a little God factor I made a conscious decision to be pure till I got married. I had no Idea that because I made the decision everybody else didn't make it with me.

I soon realised.

Time of the season: 2008     Location: On the phone

"You are 18 now, you will have so much responsibilities" She said, My aunt. My mind was spinning around

"Yes, I am now a big girl, I can go out, I can buy cloths myself"

Little did I know that even if she didn't think about that but responsibility came in ALL areas of your life, even sexual.

Time of the season: 2008     Location: Dusty T Junction 

"Will you be my girlfriend?" He asked and I burst out laughing. I didn't know how else to let him know that I wasn't interested. I wasn't fronting, i really wasn't interested.

A little time went by, we hung out more, he made me laugh alot and I felt comfortable with him. I decided to give him a chance and we started dating. Its always okay and cool for you to be a virgin till you start dating, then they expect you to give it up for them. If I gave it up for the guy before you will you meet tear rubber? Sigh. 

Anyways, I realised I had fallen in Love, then reality hit when we started talking about sex and our stand point. Apparently, I was the only of the 'view' to not have sex in the relationship, It was okay at the beginning but then at some point he said "Lets wait and See" and sometimes go further to tell me about the girls that were ready to give it up for him. In other words "Madam fix up" 

I guess that was my queue to run right? But I was in Love and honestly still really naive as I had not activated my "Sexual" desires.

After all the 'pressure' and the curiosity(in my mind) I gave into spending a weekend with him. I don't know why I expected it to be a brother-sister in a room kind of weekend. 

You guessed right, I was wrong. Very wrong.

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Location: Some Random Hotel

We checked into the hotel around the evening time and after settling into the stuffy room, We talked, laughed and teased each other for a while and honestly, I was excited to be spending the alone time with him but I also wasn't ready for what was ahead, I mean I didn't mentally prepare myself. We had talked and he knew where I stood on the sex issue and I was kinda confident that he won't pass his boundary. Wrong - Again!

This was my first time for alot of things, No guy had ever seen me without my cloths prior to this time(_~_), I had never seen a naked guy before (x_x), No guy had over-touched me and alot of feelings and sensations I didn't feel till this day/night.

And when it was around the middle of the night, I was so certain this would be me having sex for the first time.

Again, I was wrong :)

Would conclude this next week, In the mean time, Want to talk about the first time you really felt something sensual?

Have you come to an end of yourself? Have you come to a point where nothing else seems to be working out and you've tried all you could? Click to meet GRACE

23 comments:

  1. Can't wait to read the concluding part. Thumbs up Lukina

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  2. Ahah!!!*gets more kunu and groundnut*
    I can relate to this...good job.

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  3. This how it all feels, going into things we are not armed for. But in reality, if we make a decision, we should be ready for extrem consequences either good/bad.
    We learn from all exploits.
    We are all virgins @ somethings!

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    1. My point exactly, We need to be be armed with alot of knowledge by our folks. Yes, We def bear the consequences of our decisions, either good or bad.

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  4. Fear is what the elders use to instill discipline in the little ones. However, if all options are made open, maybe a lot of us would be able to make healthier decisions not born out of fear. Kudos to this writer.

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    1. Yeah, We shouldn't be making decisions out of fear is all i'm saying and that method of discipline isn't healthy.

      Thanks Tosin :)

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  5. Instilling fear still seems to be one successful way to teach kids a lesson they'll still find the right answer to when the time is right. Without the fear-factor curiosity would drive naive minds to unexpected realizations that they're not ready for.

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    1. I beg to disagree, I believe that using fear as against letting them know the reality of things out of love will do more good then harm. Now Imagine how much stress the child has to go through making silly mistakes that could be avoided if lessons are communicated out of love then fear? Makes sense?

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    2. Don't get me wrong, I'm not in support of instilling fear as a means of educating. I was a victim of the education by fear, and... let's wait till you conclude before I spill. :)

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    3. Alright. Will be waiting for the "robust response" Lol

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  6. Had a similar first experience...it all boils down to curiousity,when we don't have enough information,we jst want to sha know what is there gan. And since our parents only instilled fear in us,we'll be like "they wudnt find out",and the fear will be gone!

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  7. Tomi conclude this story jare and dnt put somebody in suspense

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  8. When you try to teach a child a lesson,using fear as the vehicle,it only fuels their curiousity.they want to know what is so harmful about it in the first place,forgetting the consequences.
    I think a mixture of full disclosure,and the 'fear method' is better.when they are younger,use fear,as they get older,explain clearly.so they are well informed...GODBLESS.

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    1. I go with full disclosure oh, In this day and age hmmmm... Anyways, we stay observing

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  9. Ahem, Tommie abeg conclude this post kiakia before I change my mind. O

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  10. Interesting.. *back to stalking.*

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Would love to hear your thoughts. Lets have a conversation!!