Are you Paradoxical?

Hello Everyone,

Thank you ALL for the words of encouragement in my last post I really do appreciate it.  Now unto the marra of the day.

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I am not one to speak plenty grammar. I like to keep things simple and straight to the point anything to avoid complexity. I understand abit of grammar not the obahiagbon kind, but you get my drift. I have a walking encyclopaedia (As I like to call her) as a sister and any time I encounter any big words or I need a correct spelling, I consult her. But she wasn't around the day I heard this big grammar.

One of the ladies during our Immerse white glam get-together mentioned ¨Paradoxical¨ as she was trying to describe herself and as I was still trying to process what that word meant another lady asked ¨Please what does it mean?¨  and she went ahead to say the meaning as being ¨Contradictory¨ Over the next weeks I pondered more on the word which was now etched in my sub-conscious.

What exactly does the word mean? 

paradoxical

ˌparəˈdɒksɪk(ə)l/

adjective

1. seemingly absurd or self-contradictory.

Then I wondered some more how I have been paradoxical in my life, believing one thing and not necessarily acting it out. Like I am a follower of Jesus and I do believe in him and all that he says but when I look in my life and try to see what I live out when the chips are down theeen there is a huge question mark. 

Its easy to be 'good' on sunday, but what are you doing on Monday? 

I also looked around me and see other people like me in the ''Christian¨ Category that do somethings then I begin to question 'Is she really a Christian?' but as much as I point the accusing/judgemental finger, I have 3 pointing back at me. 

I ask myself, does my actions or inaction as the case my be reflect the Jesus I follow? Can people that interact with me during the week vouch for me as much as my Sunday peeps can? or even more than? Can I say 'follow me as I follow Christ and people will gladly oblige?' In all honesty, I have pulled down a post -Which I might put up later - because If I answered sincerely I knew my answer on somethings was 'No'

I have been looking and thinking of what and what to help me in this and during Thursday sermon in church which was talking about the truth about grace, I got my answer although its a popular verse it came to me in a different light. 

¨I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.¨ Gal 5:16

Which screams to me that all I have to do is walk in the spirit and all the fleshy lust will not be fulfilled even with simple things as getting/staying angry, getting jealous, speaking against someone, treating people right, having compassion etc.    

My question to you is this: Are your beliefs in Christ reflecting in the way you live or are you paradoxical? 

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''Was very doubtful I was going to get admitted into school'' My God & I with Temilade

FH: Tell us about you.

My name is Temilade Adefioye, most people call me Temi or Temmy. I'm currently doing my Masters program, I love to read, write, cycle and swim. Most people say I'm a very lovely person and I agree with that 

FH: When did you give your life to Christ?

I gave my life to Christ on September 11, 2000 (not 2011 of the 9/11 saga) 

FH: What were the events that led up to making the decision?

I was a normal teenager in search of a life of love and comfort but at the same time very inquisitive about religion and God. I was attending a church that preached so much about pleasing God and going to heaven. The preaching about the rapture and the second coming scared me a lot and I didn't want to be left behind, the only way out was to give my life to Christ, so I did. 

After then, I just continued living life normally without seeking a deeper relationship with God until I got to a point where I wasn't sure if I was truly born-again. I was attending church services with one of my family friends and on our way to church one day, I told her I wasn't sure if I was born-again, she asked me some basic questions, my answers convinced me that I was and so I sought to have a deeper relationship with God (I wanted to be like Aimee Semple McPherson ) .

FH: What challenges have you experienced in your walk with God?

I have experienced so many challenges in my walk with God. I have experienced situations such as the death of a cousin who I looked up to which made me question the existence of God. I've had to deal with joblessness, frustration and an accident with left me with some scars which made me question the love of God in my life, I have also had to deal with doubts and fears especially with my finance, career, marriage and future.

FH: What practical steps did you take to deal with them? 

With each situation I face, God surrounds me with very good friends, not just good people, but good Christians friends who provide me with support such as prayers and words of comfort. God uses them so many times to direct me to Bible passages and similar situations in their lives they have experienced and came out strong. In addition to my friends, I make it a point of duty to read Christian and inspirational books and listen to gospel music.

So the steps I take in summary-Reading the Bible, surrounding myself with positive people, reading Christian books, listening to gospel music. 

FH: There are times in our walk where we don't exactly feel top notch, what keeps you going in those times? 

I find that most times when I'm really down and absolutely clueless even about what Bible verse to read and which friend to talk to, a song I have listened to in the past begins to play in my head. I think this is the Holy Spirit's way of comforting me. If there are no songs in my head, then what comes to mind could be Bible passages, portions in a book I have read or parts of a conversation I had with someone in the past. 

FH: Alot of Christians out there have the major challenge of dealing with Sin, whats your take on this? and how do you think we can overcome sin?

I think if you don't have a sin, temptation or something negative to deal with, then maybe you have ignored God so much that you don't have that Spirit check any more. Sometimes, it may not be sin you have to deal with, it could be anxiety or doubt. At every point, there is always something to deal with. It may not be very easy, but the only way we can overcome sin is by asking for the help of God promptly. There are times when I've been tempted to do things my way and it has never resulted in any good, but that doesn't mean I will not do it next time, it just means I'm human and I really need the help of God. 

FH: Can you share the most remarkable time/season in your walk with God?

The most remarkable time in my walk with God was when I got admission into the university for my undergraduate course. It was at a time when it was very difficult to get admission into the university in Nigeria, when it was a matter of who you knew. It became particularly difficult for me when I began to learn that most of my mates from secondary school were in their third year in the university and my younger sister was also about finishing secondary school. I could not imagine why I couldn't get into the university because I came out with very good grades in my Secondary certificate examinations. 

It affected me so much that I always got into trouble at home because myself-esteem was going down the hill. I was having a conversation with one of my family friends and she told me about her school, I applied but was very doubtful I was going to get admitted because there was age limit on admission. I was really shocked to find out that as young as I was, I was becoming too old to get into a private school. I prayed about it and God's specific words to me were 'I will restore the years that the locust and the canker worms have eaten' (Joel 2:25-27). At first, I was very doubtful but I got the admission and each step of the way throughout the course, God was with me, for every tough time I faced, there was a word just there to guide and comfort me. At the end of my undergraduate degree, the only thing I could say was that 'He did repay me back!'

FH: What is your relationship with God like today?

My relationship with God today is very wonderful. Though there are times when I still have my lows feel I'm loosing it. With each passing day however, His mercies are renewed to me

FH: Words of encouragement that you have for people in whatever phase they are in right now? 

A number of Bible verses really keep me going these days, I like to link them with each other because I feel they touch every aspect of my life.

When I'm in trouble - Your troubles will go away like water beneath a bridge, and your darkest night will be brighter than noon. You will rest safe and secure, filled with hope and emptied of worry. You will sleep without fear and be greatly respected (Job 11:16-19-Contemporary English Version)

When I'm in doubt - Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will not pass away- Mark 13:31 

When my doubt is getting out of hand - O Lord, you are true to your promises and your words a like silver, purified seven times in a furnace of clay (Psalm12:6-I can't remember the Bible version)

When I doubt God's existence - The fool in his heart says 'There is no God' (Psalm 14:1a-NIV)

I think those are the things that bother me most, when I'm faced with troubles, I remember the first passage and then when I doubt the first passage, I remember the second, when I doubt the second, I remember the third, I get to the peak of my doubt when I doubt God's existence, then I remember the fourth and my strength is renewed.

Temilade is a simple, fun loving, not perfect in any way person. she loves to gist, loves her friends, loves her family, currently loving swimming, but most importantly, she loves God and loves Him more each day. She is not a random person found just about everywhere; she is unique, special and apt for God's purpose. As each day unfolds, God helps her discover who she is in Him as she evolves into who He wants her to be in Him. She knows why she is here on earth-she was created for God's glory, so all the glory returns to God, thank you for making her who she is!

She blogs at: http://temiladeadefioye.blogspot.com/


Have you come to an end of yourself? Have you come to a point where nothing else seems to be working out and you've tried all you could? Click to meet GRACE

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I really thought I heard God this time

I thought I heard God...

I thought he led me to make the decision?

I thought he led me to walk in this path?

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I wrote down this title a day before I had a reason to write it out

If I heard him direct me why are things not working out? These were one of my thoughts when I decided to cut my hair last year

Nothing has gone as planned in the last 2 months. By May 2014, I knew exactly where I would be at the end of the year and mentally gotten myself ready why?

I thought I heard God...

And I did.

I mapped out my life accordingly, took the necessary leaps of faith but I landed right in the pit. This is not to analyse what I hear or question its authenticity because I was very sure I was led to this point.

But here I am, July 2014 Nothing gone has planned and really NOTHING to show for it.

I really thought I heard God...

I was quick to equate obedience of the said instructions to success of MY plans. I forgot I don't belong to myself and God has his own plans. Like every other time I seek counsel, I ran to the WORD.

I've been reading the Book of Genesis since last week and its filled with alot of ''I thought I heard God moments"
My perfect example is Joseph. God had birth the dream but the next phases of his life said nothing about where he will end up. Abraham's ''I thought I heard God" moment didn't also end like he thought it will.

Gods standard for following an instruction and it being a success is not what the world will define as success today. I have come to understand that because I heard God doesn't mean I will automatically measure up to the worlds standard of success.

Because I heard God is the exact recipe for following due process. God is a God of process and will form, mould and ultimately use us for his glory.

Because I heard God (no matter what it looks like) and followed his leading, in that I should take comfort, He never leaves and is is ever present in our present and most assuredly in our future.

Gods reality in NOT according to the worlds system, He follows process and he is in the process with us every step of the way. If you're like me and although you know God led you to a point but everything seems to be falling apart like a pack of cards, do not be anxious or be discouraged. Take comfort in the fact that you are exactly where he wants you to be. He is in your process and his purpose for your being wherever you are will be fulfilled.

Don't be discouraged. Only Trust wholly!!

Have a blessed Tuesday! :)

Have you come to an end of yourself? Have you come to a point where nothing else seems to be working out and you've tried all you could? Click to meet GRACE

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JESUS!

Good Morning Jesus,

I don't know if i can ask "How are you?" does anyone ask that these days? How is your father? Our father? Isn't it amazing how this tiny me gets to share the same HOLY father with you, just because of you. I really didn't plan to get to the gratitude part just yet.

I'm sure you must be wondering why i'm writing to you as i never really talk to you, but ofcourse you know why already. But i will go into it anyways.
The reason i decided to write to you is because, over the past few weeks i discovered that i really don't know you. I've heard of you. I believe in you. I believe in your purpose of coming to the earth. I believe that you have the power to save, redeem, heal, to resurrect, all of that. There is a possibility that admist all what i think i know and believe that i truly don't know who you are? Right?

I Thought so too.

God and i have been back and forth, not really. I have been going back and forth with God in this chase, and i have been so caught up in that and everytime i hear someone say your name, i just feel.... "I don't really know him indepth"

Does this even make sense?
Now, I'm not done with this chase. Its a beautiful experience, i just feel like i have a relationship with the father and not you - yet you made that relationship possible - and i seemed to have relegated you to the background somehow, in my own how.

Thinking of the mind blowing three-in-one and One-in-three relationship/fellowship you have with the father and the holyspirt and still being able to maintain the uniqueness of personalities, i wonder where that has me. This is where my confusion lies.

How can i have you inside of me and not know you? How can that fellowship be complete when its broken by my lack of knowledge? How can the relationship sail smoothly when the captain is not acknowledged for his skills? How can i have a not-so-personal-personal-saviour? 

Does any of this even make sense? 

I don't even know what it means to know God and not know you. I don't know how i know that i don't know you - that's not important - all i know is now? I want to know.

I know you are waiting to teach me all about you and i am asking that you help me unlearn and learn about you, i just don't want to be the girl that says she knows about you and i can't stand boldly when its time to really talk and show other people who you are. I can't be that girl.

"I know my iniquities are many...but do this for your name sake" Jer 14:7, Have mercy on me and teach me all about you. 

Thank you so much for being there and being faithful to your name. Thank you for always listening. Thank you for being you and doing all you did on the cross, this is the only reason why we have the boldness to go to the father. 

I am also grateful for the new relationship we have now. I am glad and can't wait to walk in the manifestation of this new revelation of who you are and the power behind your name.

Your daughter and Friend,

'Tomilola.

Is this just me? Or is there also someone out there that feels like they don't really really know Jesus as much as they say?

or Can you even have a relationship with God and not have one with Jesus?

Please, Lets talk. 
Have you come to an end of yourself? Have you come to a point where nothing else seems to be working out and you've tried all you could? Click to meet GRACE

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Worry less, Then what?

The Bottom line is worry less bah? Got it! 

So, since this is new for me because i have always been in the business of worrying. 

What do you now do with that period you always spent occupied with worrying about stuff?

*Got suggestions for me, please use the comment box. Thanks.

How was your Monday?

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