Why Niger

Making my way through the other wanna-be corpers, with my tiny self and people pushing and shoving, I got to the front and traced  “DL” against my name, my head quickly did a mental calculation to mean DELTA, trying to be sure I traced again, this time I got “NG” looking confused now because I had no mental calculation of what or where that meant, with the cold water feeling… Whats a cold water feeling? You know when the day is really cold and you still trying to make yourself warm then someone pours you cold water out of wickedness and you too weak to speak or even retaliate? Yeah! That’s the cold water feeling.

Anyways, I found out that NG means Niger state and from then on without knowing what to expect I blanked out – mentally and I was indifferent about it all, preparation for camp went into full swing and the day finally came, it felt like I jumped out of my life and started watching it in 3D, I was like a walking zombie for the next one week (Its not pretty walahi)

I had absolutely no idea why God dropped me here but somewhere at the back of my mind I knew it was for a purpose and I wrote somethings down that I wanted to achieve before the end  (I wrote about it here) Its one NYSC calendar year already and I can say I got more out of the experience than I set out to.

January was the defining moment for me, with the security issues and subsidy issues in the country, the question then was: Will you go back? You really don’t want to know the number of people that came to my house to give me countless reasons not to go back (Especially Titus) my friends, pastors wife, family friends one-by-one they kept coming to convince me to relocate and for some reason (Now that I think f it, the strength wasn't from me) I stood my grounds, deep inside of me I was worried but I couldn't afford to let it show. My dad still asked me the night before I left when he saw me packing “So, you are going?” I knew they didn't want me to go but they are the kind of people that wont hold you back from whatever you decide to do, so they formed “supporting me” (God bless them for me) Looking back now, I do not regret coming down here.

The Lows

I lived alone and as much as I loved my space, sometimes I wished I wasn’t cooking for myself alone, sometimes I wished I had a friend around I could tell stuff to, don’t get me wrong I had people around me just didn’t have people I could open up to.

The boredom was real and I watched it live. Work started becoming a routine, some stubborn children, Employer wahala, I started getting depressed. Nights upon nights I cried myself to sleep, Everything didn't matter again, I wanted out, not just out of NYSC, Out of life itself, It was 11^th April, 2012. (I wrote about it here.) I thought of ways to end it all, Amidst all the thinking and depression I was wallowing in, I remembered a voice on the other end of the line that said to me “Who would I now talk to” (If you ever read this, it’s a memory I would forever cherish) That pulled me out of my wallowing and reminded me of the people that loved me.

The Highs

I pray this prayer “Dear God, Help me to help people” and it was also one of my goals this one year, although I didn't do what I really really wanted to do but the smiles I got after a class or after ding something for someone was the answer to my prayer. He did help me to help a few people within my capacity and I wouldn't have had it any other way, I was raw tears of Joy and that alone made my year and I whispered “Thank you for answering my prayers”

The not so regular hangout with my peeps was something that lifted my spirit a lot too and am grateful for the people that I met.

Staying alone, Sundays are not the same because there is no mummy to shout-wake you and remind you not to be late to church, I had to choose to go to church, and also be punctual. Church was a whole different experience, maybe because I was going because I really wanted to go or because my goal to build a relationship with God was really genuine, bottom line is it was different and I can say with all the confidence he has given me that I LOVE GOD.

Lessons Learnt

I was talking about passing out with a friend recently and he asked me “So, what are you taking back with you from kontagora” The summary of the answer is a different Tomilola.

The new tomilola:

Loves God

Has sooo much confidence in Christ

Has embraced her flaws and is working on them

Is Happier

Has switched from 80% Sad to 80% Happy

Enjoys reading the Bible (I mean I don’t fall asleep)

Thinks about things a whole lot more

Is really Thankful

Paying more attention t her writing

And I Absolutely Love her!!!!

I am far from perfect but right now i'm contended with everything God has given me and I am very grateful, I am very open to correction and I try to constantly evaluate myself to know my wrongs.

I lost a lot of things during this service year but its all for the better and more importantly I trust God for everything and he is working in places I cannot see.

I am grateful to everyone that I came in contact with during this year and most especially the people that were there for me all through, I don’t have anything to give you but I know God would bless you all for me! Thank you.

And to the people that asked me “Why Niger”, so sorry it took me this long to answer your question but there you have it.

To the people getting their posting and are worried about it, truth is God would never give you more than you can bear. Be open minded and enjoy the experience. The good. The bad. The ugly. The lessons. And Everything.

I am glad I came to Niger state and I feel fulfilled and I wont change the experience for anything else in the world.

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Road to NG

The 2nd FAQ after the 'No' reply to the first FAQ 'Did you work your posting' i heard up until the week of posting was 'Ahan why??' or in the elderly format 'Kilode?'

I've learnt in this my short life that its from one pot of soup to another and no matter how hot it gets, u just gotta live through it *sigh*

I was so excited about the NYSC experience by the time i was leaving school in June/July until i had to worry about where i-was-going-to-be-posted-to which ofcourse was immediatly as people would not let you rest by reminding you everyday *Long Hiss* everywhere i went, all the different people i saw, it was all 'where do you want to be posted to' 'are you working it' 'i hope they don't post you to the north' 'me i won't let you go to the north oh' in different formats, and am there all smiling but if you look really closely you would see i have my hands clasped  against my ears screaming 'Can you all leave me alone and direct your questions to NYSC'

All that constant reminder made me less excited about it all and more worried so when my mum came home one day and said ''take a paper write your full name, call up number and where you want to be posted to, this man is asking for it''  it felt like the time to put an end to the worry and be rest assured of the place, i wrote it quite alright and put Lagos but the paper did not leave my room.

After writing lagos i started asking myself; then whats the point of the scheme? If i stay in lagos it just going to be IT experience all over again, what exactly do i want to achieve this service year? So i pulled out my journal (as usual) and wrote (no editting):

What i want from the NYSC experience.

- Get myself ready for the independent life

-prove to myself that i can make it on my own

-The 'responsible' feeling

-Mentally prepare myself for the life ahead

-Help! Help!! Help!!!

-Live

-Visit places

-Devotion to God

-Service

-Embrace the whole idea

After all these writing and pondering, i was too sure i wasnt going to work my posting and definatly not to lagos, when i prayed sef i said to God anywhere but lagos; not that i hate lagos that much but the only reason i didnt want lagos is TRAFFIC (@gidiTraffic would understand)

I just pray God would help me achieve all of these by the end of my one year serving the fatherland!

So here i am in Niger State.

Otondo

sexy  cofer

Crazy  dust

Notice the diff? my nickname was ''water bottle''

we must sha be fine :)

Body Art

My camp crew

love this

and this

Camp fire night

Last day

I got so blackkkk :(

World Aids day

Learnt nu make up skills

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I'm Back!!!

1.30 am

I'm lyin' here in the dark with alot on my mind... Exams are in less than 5days nd i've nt read, i don't hava an idea where to start writin' my project from, this no-light situation in school, my blog and the list goes on nd on.......

Its been a while i picked up my pen to write about anything (which is weird), even writing in my journal takes the grace of God, but gotta confess tho' i think i stopped writing in the journal because it started to feel like the journal had jinx-ed me or something..(long story)! Now i don't even know who/what to blame for that, i guess i can take the blame for a change. ;)

Its a new year and honestly i don't feel the new-ness well except the date and am graduating this year yeah!!! Yes 2010 wasn't exactly my defination of a great year but in all i'm grateful for being alive to see another year, so far the year has been Wonderful.

I'm suppose come here and drop all the drama happening in my life, well i think me being in this school is enough drama, buh where do i start from? everyday seems like a whole different story, but now am even too busy to pay attention to a lot of things, but somethings you would never be to busy to SEE is the 'skinny' craze OMG sometimes i have to bury my head in shame #enufsaid.. (i think i have to dedicate one post to ma school DRAMA)

Now i hope i get the time to keep writing, i'ld try to keep up....

Btw Happy New Year......

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