256: Cumi

My name is Deborah.
It was my first time. I only needed this time to throw into the ocean what had been an abomination to me previously. Just this one time.

I got caught... 

17, I met and started to experience these specie of human beings. The unsatisfied, the greedy, the perv Specie of the homo sapiens or like my sister will call them "Dirty Old men". I got the occasional winks. "Let me drop you by your house" and all that was fine until it became within close proximity.

18, I started an Internship. First day of work, met with my line manager, supervisor and overall Manager of the Department. It all started with little campaigns as entrusting me with the key to his office, commenting on my innocent look, asking to be his typist in my spare time leading to me earning his Trust - Maybe a little too much, so much that he left a pornographic clip playing in one of his 'Come and stay in my office while I go out' routines and said "Whatever you see there should not leave this Office"

I was wise enough to run before he demanded I do what I saw in the video clip...

I got dragged to the Master...

19, I started my 2nd Internship uncermoniously. On a faithful day, walking into his office to report some work done, He 'pinned' me to the wall in his office. Trying to convince me to kiss him, he placed his hand on his member trying to show me his hard-on.
"Look what you've caused" He said.
I managed to free myself from the 'pin down' without kissing him. Few days later, 2 cute boys and a woman with a protruding belly walked into the office, they were his family but he hadn't been wearing a ring.

"I noticed your countenance dropped when you saw my boys, you didn't do anything. You shouldn't feel bad" was what he said to me when he called me later in the evening.

I was disgusted.

I fell to my knees...

20, Messages going back and forth. I like him, He likes me. He also has a family.

We are not having an affair, we just acknowledge and a couple of flirtatious text messages and calls doesn't do anybody any harm. It was only a matter of time before we took the 'passion' out of the text messages and into reality. It felt good, good enough for me to meet up a 2nd time and a 3rd...

4:00pm Friday, 24th August, 2001

Deb: Hey You.
P: I was just thinking about you
Deb: really? What about?
P: I miss your lips
Deb: hmmm... 
P: Available tomorrow?
Deb: Yes, Time?
P: 6pm. Rm 256. Same place.
Deb: See you Then.
P: :) 
. . .

bang! bang!! 
On the door.
"Are you expecting anyone?" I asked as I stood up to open the door. Once I unbolted the door it flung open and shouts filled the atmosphere.

'Husband snatcher' 
'Useless girl' 
'They' dragged me to this mysterious looking man

I fell to my knees...

I fell to my knees in his presence drowning in the guilt and thought of what will befall me in a minute or 2, he turned his back to 'them' that dragged me down to him after saying something to them that I didn't hear and gradually the shouts died down and you could hear them leave, one after the other. I trembled and still couldn't lift up my head.

I flinched when he tapped me.
"Where are they that accuse you? Has no one condemned you?"

Still confused at what just happened or who this man is "No" I replied

"Neither do I, Go and Sin no more"

I stood up and glanced with curiosity at what he scribbled on the sand

"256"
I looked up at him again and he smiled and said

"I know all"

***Cumi is based on a true life story using John 8:1-11 as a backbone***
What stood out for you?

Have you come to an end of yourself? Have you come to a point where nothing else seems to be working out and you've tried all you could? Click to meet GRACE

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31 Day Reset: Day 10

Challenge: Today's assignment is to find an accountability partner - someone who can hold you responsible for your own success and progress in pursuing your ideal life.

What is an accountability partner?

• a friend, family member, co-worker, mentor, coach or someone else you can trust to help you keep a commitment
• someone on the same path as you or simply willing to help you in your specific journey
• someone who can help you stay on track toward reaching your goals
• someone who stands firm and won't let you get away with making excuses or procrastinating
• someone who will ask you all those difficult questions we tend to avoid

I have 3 Accountability Partners that have been there for me over the years, and i'm sure they wont leave me now. But for this exercise, which is something i feel i need to do on my own with God by my side, i am going to be my own accountability partner. If i don't even learn anything from this challenge, I've learnt to be honest with myself, so God helping me i would be doing the periodic evaluation of my life to measure progress.

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Silent Wish 3

As she heard the old school 'Here comes the bride' she knew deep in her heart that this was the best decision she has ever made in her 25years of existence, she slipped her slender hands into her fathers, then looked into his eyes before they took the step down the aisle, steps to her future.


He was just a 3rd year student studying chemical engineering at the university of Ibadan, a good looking guy from a wealthy home, He has heard 'love at first sight' countless time and never believed it until that faithful Thursday at the library...
'Can I help you?' she looked up to say, all he could stare at were those beautiful brown eyes that screamed innocence...
Now 5 years later I'm here staring at this same eyes only its filled with something different; love for me, then he heard the pastor for the first time 'do you ola take simi to be your lawfully wedded bride blah blah blah' with the largest grin he said 'I do'

He knew he had to say something before she thought he was crazy 'Is this seat taken?' stupid stupid stupid! Was that your best? He scolded himself, 'No' was all she said and kept reading. Concentrating on the books he had initially come to read became the most difficult task ever 'Talk to her? No, what if you don't see her again, talk jor' then he decided and just enjoyed the sitting beside the beautiful girl.

The 'I do' he heard pulled him out of his thought 'hmmm... We've really come this far wow!,' the rest of the ceremony went by in a flash, he just wanted to go home and start his life with his new bride.


She sat there trying so hard to concentrate on the book 'He is so fine hmm... How can I concentrate with this fine boy beside me' this went on in her head till he stood up to leave, Just then she arrives, 'Madame you ready to go?', 'did you see him leave?' She asked her best friend 'who?' 'Ola that fine boy in part 3, he sat beside me and I could tell he wanted to talk but you know with all the whole fine boy forming and all' Well that's your problem just pack your books abeg hunger haff wire ma head!


She couldn't help but smile at the first day she 'met' him, now here she was in his arms on their first night together as married couples, the first night, the first day of the rest of their lives. He slowly pulled back the night gown to reveal her smooth caramel skin, gently kissing her shoulders he pulled the night gown to reveal the rest of her perfectly shaped body, he pulled her close and his lips met hers and his hands caressed her ample bosom.

The clock read 11:00pm then she stood up to check the room, she moved closer looking into the cot, sleeping peacefully was the first fruit of her marriage with this man, then the tears escaped, Why is he not home yet? There are no board meetings Fridays abi? What have I done to deserve this now? Does he not know I need help with this baby? I really need to get back to work maybe I won't notice all his late nights or not? Just then the sound of the door pulled her out of herself 'interrogating session', sweetheart! Welcome, what happened? - Traffic! He said in a very cold manner, how is the baby? Sleeping she replied, can you get me something to eat while I check on her?

He sat up in bed partly covered with the duvet, turned to her; the stranger, she mumbled something but his mind was everywhere but there 'when did it get to this? So I was cold yesterday I know, but why is she suffering in silence? Why can't she say something? Maybe then I would let this guilt go and confess or not? What she doesn't know won't hurt right? But I'm not a good actor neither am i sure she has an idea already but why is she not talking?' something that sounded like a shout brought him back to reality 'are you here at all? I've been asking you a question for the past 10mins haba! are you going home tonight?' defensively he answered 'please don't start, what night have I not gone home? Don't ask me such anymore' with that he stood up dressed up and left the room without saying anything else.


"Can't you see the writing on the wall? Or you have just chosen to deny it? He has started keeping late nights, he doesn't even talk to you, the loving part of your marriage is gone, and one good thing is he helps out with the baby. But seriously simi don't you see it? He is cheating on you". All what her friend said to her earlier in the day kept replaying in her head, with tears rolling down her cheeks she asked herself 'but why??'

Another night, a familiar stranger, he lay down beside her contemplating if waking her up was good idea, No! She decides to suffer in silence, then good for her, I won't up and confess; no way! For her not to notice, it probably means she doesn't care anymore right? So why should I? With all that thought he slept off.

''I really need to talk to you'' she said, when I get back from work, I'm late. ''nowadays you are always late even your home coming, so today should not be an exception, so can we talk?'' He nodded aii
I just wanted to ask what's wrong with us, what have I done to deserve all the treatment you are giving me? Recently you've been coming home late from work, I noticed the drinking too and you don't even talk to me not to even talk of touching me, what happened? Or are you seeing someone else?
He sat there his face in his hands, when he heard her speak with the hurt in her voice he knew, I guess it is time to let it all be over with that he said......

So i've been writing this story since forever (by forever i mean like 3weeks) not because i dnt have what to write but i could not just get to understand d idea behind cheating and obviously i still don't, so i decided i would ask, instead of just keeping my story in draft.....

So if you are reading this, use the comment box and give your reasonS... Why you think people cheat in relationships. Thanks :)

~L~u~k~i~n~a~

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Silent Wish...II

To do? or not to do? Innie minnie mannie mo, father has a donkey 'This is ridiculous!' she thought either ways its gonna happen. With the wind caressing her long black hair, the horrible experience plays back in her head.




It was a very beautiful Saturday morning, the sun rays lit up the room, all she had to was get off the bed but, it was seeming more difficult than she had anticipated the previous night. She had written in her journal before she fell asleep with her cloth on..

12th April 2006   

Today was the best in like forever. I finally got the chance to audition for that role i've been wanting to play, thanks to this audition I finally get a chance to leave this house hmmm.... so I cant wait till its morning altho' the audition starts at noon, I know dz excitement would not make me sleep well....
Ifeoluwa!! Ifeoluwa!!! you don't want to be late for your audition do you?? common get up!!

Waking up with the pen in her hands upon looking at the wall clock which read 9.00am all she could do was laugh at herself, knowing she had little time to get her act together, she got off the bed and went into the bathroom to take a quick shower.

'Gladly mummy supports me, I cant imagine if she had followed that old man hmm...  but seriously whats with this man and the entertainment industry? I don't get it! He has just decided not to bulge' this thought stream through her head while taking a shower.

She get out and started thinking of the appropriate cloth to wear, after trying like 5 different outfits she got tired and opted for a black top, a Jean with a black plimsolls with pink lace, looked In the mirror 'ok! This is it, I think I look nice enough to wow the judges ba? Too bad the mirror can't talk back' she looked at the time and it was 10am already and she still had to present her act to her mum before she leaves.

Mummy! She called out as soon as she got downstairs, i'm ready, won't u have breakfast? Errrmm I don't think so, I don't wanna throw up all cos i'm nervous, don't worry u would be fine her mum told her so get your butt there and show me whatchu got, she could not but laugh at an old school mum trying to 'feel among'

Don't you think the driver should drop you? Her mum cried as she was racing out the door, mum for the umpteenth time I'm a big girl i can take care of myself i'ld take the bus thank you, bye mama, Soon she was out the door, on the bus all she could think of was her mothers applause after showing her the act and hoping that she was applauding her because the act was good not because she was doing her duty to make her feel good.

Then she saw the sign, pulled the 'bus-stop string' in the brt bus, she was getting closer to the venue and her heart was racing faster, she would need to walk down the street to before she gets there - crap!

Mentally going over her performance she hardly heard the 'hey sister' as she passed a group of boys that gathered under a tree drinking and smoking, she kept walking till she felt the presence of someone behind her, looking back, she picked up her pace, tryin to run then she felt the huge, rugged and heavy hands on her shoulder 'Who is chasing you?' stammering and trying to get her words out 'errmmm... I-i-i wasnt running i'm just late for and audition, that starts in...' looking down at her watch '10mins plss can i go?' Now like 2 of the guyz from under the tree had walked up to them. Looking around the street was empty, now she got more scared....

'did you not ear me call you?' said one of the guyz that approached them 'i-i d-didn't ear my name' then he walked closer to her whispering in her ears 'you look sexy' feeling all shaky she said 'thank you sir please can i go now? I have a audition in 5mins' they all looked at her then back at themselves and burst out in the most sacarstic laughter she had ever heard 'why am i here today? Why did i take this route? Why did i not jump at mummy's let-the-driver-drop-you offer?' all this thought raced through her head all at a time....

'You can go' was all she heard and her she gave a sigh of relieve which did not last for long, as soon as she turned her back to leave, she felt the hand again, only this time it wasnt on her shoulder but on her mouth trying to keep her from shouting, she kicked and tried to loose herself off his grip but it was futile, then the big bang on the side of her head and she blacked out.

As her bare back hit the rough hard surface she opened her eyes, she looked above to see the preyin' eyes of 3 huge, rough looking men that was when it clicked 'where the heck are my cloth and where am i?' looking around all she knew was this was an uncompleted building that was it, so she decided to voice her thought and all she got was a slap that made her bleed 'shhhuuussshhh cooperate with us by keeping quiet and we would not give you any of that' now with tears and thought of what is about to befall her she started begging and the minute she opend her mouth, it was followed by another slap, she closed her eyes with agony and pain as the first guy mounted on her and forced his way in, all she could do was beg God to take her out of this misery and she passed out - Again.

She opened her eyes to an empty room, At first all she thought of was 'Geez ma audition!' but as she moved and felt sour it all came back, the guyz, the slap, the.... It was better not thinking about it, but how was this not going to haunt her for the rest of her life? She stood up and picked her cloths that were scattered off the ground and she knew right there that it was going to be that difficult to pick the pieces of her life back, because every step she took was more painful than the last.

Sitting on the ground hugging her legs with tears in her eyses, re-living the ordeal to her mum was the most difficult thing she had ever done in her entire life.

Her mum was filled with regrets if only i had insisted that she took the driver this wouldnt have happened to my baby girl she thought but she also knew better not to play the 'why did u not listen to me game' now was not the time, her baby needed her and that was exactly where she would be, right beside her. She tried so hard not to think of what her father would say and even considered not telling him at all, because he could be insensitive and start the 'i told you so story which frankly i'm not ready for' she thought i guess i'ld just let it be for a week before i tell him.. All this thought were going through as she sat there with her daughter in her arms and tears rolling down their cheeks.

What is she thinking? Does she now see me as unclean like i feel? Would she tell daddy? How would i get out of this? Would this scar ever leave? Can i get pregnant? Oh no no no no!!!! Then my child would be a bastard? No no no God please No.. As she stayed quietly in the comfort of her mums embrace her mind was everywhere but there.

As her mum stood up from the bed thinking she had slept off, she still found it hard to fall aslip as the event of the day just kept replayin' in her head. Then she got up from her bed went into the bathroom and took a bottle of pills and also a knief....

To do or not to do? Innie minnie mannie mo, father has a donkey 'this is ridiculous!' she thought either ways its gonna happen. With the wind caressing her long black hair, the horrible experience plays back in her head then she decides i cant continue like this lemmie pick the less painful one..
She then picks up her pen and writes:

Dear mum and dad,
I'm really sorry i have to leave you in this manner but i don't think i can leave with this scar for the rest of my life, i'm almost going out of my mind just re-living the horrible experience in my head and its been less than 24hrs, i don't tink i wanna got thru this for the rest of my life. Thank you for always being there for me. I love you both.
Then she opens the bottle and takes an overdose of the sleeping pills,then goes to sleep quietly.


Ifeoluwa! Ifeoluwa!! You don't want to be late for your audition do you? Common get up!!
With the pen in her hand she opens her eyes reluctantly, Her mum walked in and the first thing that came out of her mouth was 'Mum please let the driver drop me'

P.S: This is the second of the Silent wish series here is a link to the first one i wrote.

http://tomilolaakibo.blogspot.com/2010/05/silent-wish.html 

Enjoy!!!!!

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SilenT Wish...

It was a cold day and all she kept thinking was 'I hope they don’t catch me' So far this is the most risky step she has taken and she knew the consequences if she got caught, but she thought to herself ' it’s worth it, I don’t care damn the consequences!!!' and all she wanted to do was just live her life and enjoy the moment while it lasted, of course it was one of the best moments...as she approached her destination which was almost 5 hours drive from the home she shared with her mum, earlier that morning her mum called ''joy have you packed up your things for trip'' something leaped inside her knowing she had lied to her mum about going for a school trip with her classmates but it did not matter rite now the deed is done ''yes I have and I’d be leaving by 9'' she shouted through the hallway with that she looked at the clock in her bedroom that read 8:45 'ok time to go' she said to herself but the feeling of guilt still lingered knowing her mum was single and struggling to pay her tuition 'what if something happens to me?' she discarded the feeling off, all that was on her mind was the man she was going to meet, she had seen pictures but you know people don’t look exactly like their picture or do they? Right now she was just enjoying the thought of it all...he looked so handsome in his picture but...

there was always a but for every good that had happened to her lately she shook the thought and made her way through the hallway and to the front door 'bye mum see you in 3 days' was all that she could say knowing she could not bear the pain of lying to her mum's face, outside the door she hailed a cab and '....' it felt so unreal that it came out of her mouth but was she ready for this meeting or not?

it was too late for all the questions as the cab had moved to the highway now with the sign that bore "welcome to ...." it still felt so unreal that she could pull it off something in her leaped opps!!! she was nervous but ' it’s too late to back out now' something screamed at her, and she knew it...she got off the cab as it stopped in from of the hotel she planned to lodge in not familiar with the environment she just walked up to the receptionist 'hi, good evening I need a single bed room for 3days' she filled out the necessary forms and was directed to the room without wasting any more time the moment she had been waiting for 7 whole months was finally here..

she picked up her phone and dialled the already registered number in her head after 2 rings a deep voice answered "hello" hearing the familiar voice a smile came to her lips "hey how r u doing just letting you know am around" there was a short pause and she felt jealous for a second 'was he with her?' she asked herself 'I don’t care rite now I just want to enjoy the moment' came an answer to her own question as if he had been listening to her thought 'am home now at home send me the address of where you are and I’d meet you up k' there was a sense of relieve washed over her 'k I’d be expecting you later' trying to hide her excitement as hard as she could but she could hear it in her own voice clicking the exit button after sending the text she headed for the bathroom to freshen up knowing he would be around any minute, after a warm shower her phone rang and she flipped only to look at it and it read 'mum' with a sign she picked up the phone 'hi mum' 'are you there yet?' 'I got here safely its fun out here mum' liar! Lair!!Lair!!! 'got to go mum they are checking us into rooms love you' she pushed the red button before there was a response she pushed the guilt thoughts out of her mind and focus on him 'he would be here in ...' the ring from the phone pulled her out of her thought 'am here come down to the reception' she just kept jumping up and down not able to contain her joy she hurriedly gathered herself and composed herself and went out of the room trying not to look too excited she made her way to the reception.

she took a quick glance 'God he's tall' she moved closer 'you are john I guess u don’t look this tall in your pictures' was all she could think of to say after *rehearsing* a first meeting line as she called it 'you look shorter than I expect also that aside can we grab a bite' she was just filled just by see him but it’s no harm if I could sit with him 'of course am starving' even if she knew she was lying 'we could walk down to a restaurant around the corner...they have the best meals' they made their way out of the hotel and walked down the road when they arrived at the restaurant they got seats all the way in the back made their orders half way into the meal 'so what do you think of me?' john asked ...with a lot of things to say she was pretty careful with choice of words 'well..of course you know how I feel about you and now it just grew stronger because now there is a face to the voice' something nudged her that she had said enough she kept quite the rest of the meal listening to him tell her about his job...watching him talk felt very fulfilling y? She did not have any reason but...cutting off her thoughts he asked 'what are you doing tomorrow?' I came here to see him why is he asking me that she thought 'nothing I’ll be in my hotel room all day you? you will come keep me company rite?' ...'of course yes...I just have somethings to do but i'll be here by noon' she could feel her self smiling and she was not shy to let it show! he walked her back to the door of her room hugged her and bade her 'good night' she watched him walked down and admired his body frame 'wow he looks so good better than I imagined' she opened her door went straight to her suitcase and reached for her journal  

''dear journal, today has been absolutely amazing meeting john and all he was nothing I expected he was only better an what this guy I love so much loves me back that is even best but... really how are we going to manage it but he has said we should and that is exactly what am going to do push every negative thoughts outta ma mind a focus the present, I would not think of the consequences, I don’t care as long as john still feels this way about me nothing matters...now I can’t wait till tomorrow he is going to be here...that’s enough let me get rest...later''

She closed the journal headed straight for the bathroom to freshen up and jumped on the bed trying to recollect the events of the day but sleep caught up with her in less than 5minutes...

'OMG!!John is coming at noon! ‘she exclaimed as she looked at the time that read 11:45 with that she jumped out of bed and made her way to the bathroom, ran the warm water tap and in less than 5 mins she was out.. 'That was the quickest bath have taken in my entire life' she thought ‘it doesn’t matter now does it' another thought came to discard the first thought...pulling here suitcase out of the closet she picked out a pink tank top and a short denim skirt put on a light make up in a hurry knowing he would be there any second...'i hope he likes my look' she thought pulling her out of her thought was the beep from her phone and she had notifications to show john had called her 4 times and her mum had called her 3 time ..'oh! Poor widow she thinks her only child is on some school trip...mum am really sorry I lied to you but I just have the feeling you would not approve of me meeting men....

ok stop this now it’s not like she can hear you or something save the guilty speech till she finds out' she snapped at herself with that she picked up her phone and dialled his number to find out where he was at that time it was 12:01 wondering how she could get ready in such a short time she resumed the call after the first ring she heard d familiar voice that made her heart leap 'wow! That was quick' she said 'don’t blame me... I've missed you well am just walking into d hotel rite now' something leaped in her 'so save the stress am coming up to your room just do me a favour don’t make me knock for too long' hearing that she smiled and said 'y should I?' and hit d end button..

Less than 2 seconds after d call a sharp knock was on d door...she flinched 'was she nervous to b in d same room alone with a guy she loved...y should she?' discarding the thought and at d same time thinking ahead of what could happen between them she opened the door 'thanks for not making me wait out here for too long' he said 'you are always welcome dear' he stepped into the mini size room that had a chair, a medium size bed, a tv and a pretty view of the clouds through the windows 'i neva knew this place was this beautiful but i must say not as beautiful as you' 'thank you' she blused and she knew it but she could not help it so he took a sit on the chair and she laid across the bed they talked and laughed at everything and anything that they both said the chemistry was too obvious and they knew it as the hours passed by he look at his watch 'wow we've spent 3hrs chatting its funny how time flies when you are having fun'

She felt the tension in the air already and all she could do was smile with the hours gone by they had little or nothin to talk about and it started growing awkward as the seconds passed...'can i look @ your palms?' he said 'k! Now he wants to touch me...u don’t even know how hard it is for me to concentrate @ the moment now I know he wants trouble' as the thought passed through her mind she said 'sure why not' putting her close to tiny palms in his she felt a sense of safety 'it really feels so good' he said and was now stroking his thumb on her other index finger with the feelings all together she could not say a word anymore 'u r not saying anything again' he said 'am trying to concentrate with you caressing my fingers and all' she confessed, like he was waiting for her to 'I actually feel the same way' with the confessions he started stroking her long strong black hair 'ok! Am I thinking right now??I cannot think!! OMG! This feels so good' trying to just enjoy the moment she pushed all the thought away from her mind then he stood up from the chair he sat after looking in her eyes and stroking her hair for close to 2mins 'he is standing up!!! this does not look good but feels good' pulling her up from her lying position to sit beside her and at that moment he place his lips on hers 'he is kissing me ahhhhhhh!!don’t think just enjoy the moment dear!' as the kiss intensified they ended up in each other’s arms lying close to each other he pulled away from the kiss to catch his breath ‘wow! U my dear are a real good kisser' and feeling exceptionally happy with what just transpired between them she said 'you are not bad yourself it was really one of the best moments ...' she was cut off by the vibration of john's phone ignoring it 'are you not going to answer your phone?'...'no! It’s her and I don’t want to raise any suspicions do you understand?' determined not to let anything ruin her fun more like joy she nodded to affirm with that she kissed him again and more passionately this time as of it would really make him forget about her...'I love you! And I really want to make you happy all the time and thank you for being there for me' he said 'you are welcome' she excused herself to use the bathroom and by the time she got back from the bathroom he was up like he was really to go 'my mum called and I need to run an errand for her before the next hour’ with disappointment written all over her she replied ‘baby do you have to go??' 'am sorry I know you are not happy' after a long good night kiss he left it was then she looked at the time that read '8:15pm wow really it’s funny how time flies when u r having a good time' she then went into the bathroom to take a warm bath she took her time knowing she did not have her quality bath time inn d morning, getting out of the bathroom she dried her body got in to a sleeping robe and picked her journal 

''Dear journal today was absolutely better than yesterday!! We actually kissed, I really felt a connection with him...it was magical I have never felt this way about someone before...really why is there always a but to every good thing that happens to me??I know he loves me and all but...y is he so attached to her? These are the questions I don’t have answers to...I really just had a strong feeling when I watched him go...that it was for good and for life!!!''

Wiping the tears from her eyes as reality struck her she knew it @ d back of her mind that it was over, but still hoping that she was mistaking...her phone beeped and it was john

'hope u r not asleep yet because I have something to discuss with you' trying hard not to sound unhappy 'am listening watts up?' she felt her gut twist and knew by the tone of his voice it was not going to be a pleasant discussion 'well...' he paused 'joy I know how you feel about me and don’t get me wrong I feel the same way but I love my sister very much and she doesn’t approve of you so...' 'say no more...I think I’ve heard enough' she cut him off 'I know exactly what you are trying to say and I understand perfectly I’ll be leaving 1st thing tomorrow morning' with that she hung up not ready to listen to any excuses or apologies now tears were rolling down her eyes...'why have I been such a fool, I should have seen it coming with all the talk of his sister now I know I’ve lost him for good...there is no turning back' when it was dawn she packed up her bags and left the hotel inside the cab as she was leaving she knew deep down that it was really over, now she was going way for leaving him behind forever...

Now on her window-sill 5months later remembering an aspect of her life that was long gone...she knew she still had a very strong feeling for john but he was a thing of the past...looking out at the horizon with a feeling of fulfillment she smiled...

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