I walked the dog this morning and learnt a lesson

Hello people,

How have you been? Remember chi-chi? chi-chi is 'our' dog and I took her for a walk this morning. I regularly don't do this but I am around and my younger sister started complaining when she started barking in the morning as an indication for us to take her out.

I walked her round our close and when we got back, some chickens had invaded her 'space' and she almost ran out of my hands to defend her 'territory' to chase the chickens away from her food and water and a light bulb came on in my head.

Do you defend your territory like this?

The Bible clearly says in Proverbs 4:23 Watch over your heart with all diligence, For from it flow the springs of life.

I know right now that I don't. 
I also love the analogy I heard recently, about having a field and how weed doesn't struggle to grow but it takes extra planning and effort to grow a seed deliberately. You want to plant maize, you have to plan, water it etc. to make sure it grows, but for the weed? You don't have to 'do' anything. 

God has given us this life - HIS life - we are stewards and we have the responsibility to 'defend' and God has equipped us, given us authority, given us dominion and he will ask us what we did with our life. 

I have been giving this serious thought since morning - when I wasn't sleeping - and I want to ask you what I also ask myself and hoping I understand and get better at. 

Is my life - and the lives connected to mine - precious enough to me to want to defend it like how God expects?

Have a great week!!! :) 

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HAPPY NEW MONTH!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAPPY NEW MONTH FROM ALL OF US AT THE FOOT OF THE HILL!!! I pray you have an amazing end of the year!!!

*kisses*

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Are you Paradoxical?

Hello Everyone,

Thank you ALL for the words of encouragement in my last post I really do appreciate it.  Now unto the marra of the day.

[Source]

I am not one to speak plenty grammar. I like to keep things simple and straight to the point anything to avoid complexity. I understand abit of grammar not the obahiagbon kind, but you get my drift. I have a walking encyclopaedia (As I like to call her) as a sister and any time I encounter any big words or I need a correct spelling, I consult her. But she wasn't around the day I heard this big grammar.

One of the ladies during our Immerse white glam get-together mentioned ¨Paradoxical¨ as she was trying to describe herself and as I was still trying to process what that word meant another lady asked ¨Please what does it mean?¨  and she went ahead to say the meaning as being ¨Contradictory¨ Over the next weeks I pondered more on the word which was now etched in my sub-conscious.

What exactly does the word mean? 

paradoxical

ˌparəˈdɒksɪk(ə)l/

adjective

1. seemingly absurd or self-contradictory.

Then I wondered some more how I have been paradoxical in my life, believing one thing and not necessarily acting it out. Like I am a follower of Jesus and I do believe in him and all that he says but when I look in my life and try to see what I live out when the chips are down theeen there is a huge question mark. 

Its easy to be 'good' on sunday, but what are you doing on Monday? 

I also looked around me and see other people like me in the ''Christian¨ Category that do somethings then I begin to question 'Is she really a Christian?' but as much as I point the accusing/judgemental finger, I have 3 pointing back at me. 

I ask myself, does my actions or inaction as the case my be reflect the Jesus I follow? Can people that interact with me during the week vouch for me as much as my Sunday peeps can? or even more than? Can I say 'follow me as I follow Christ and people will gladly oblige?' In all honesty, I have pulled down a post -Which I might put up later - because If I answered sincerely I knew my answer on somethings was 'No'

I have been looking and thinking of what and what to help me in this and during Thursday sermon in church which was talking about the truth about grace, I got my answer although its a popular verse it came to me in a different light. 

¨I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.¨ Gal 5:16

Which screams to me that all I have to do is walk in the spirit and all the fleshy lust will not be fulfilled even with simple things as getting/staying angry, getting jealous, speaking against someone, treating people right, having compassion etc.    

My question to you is this: Are your beliefs in Christ reflecting in the way you live or are you paradoxical? 

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#ThankfulThursday: Unhappy

Hallo People,

I am torn between being totally honest or following the aww-so-my-life-is-happy-on-the-internet trend. But I have been giving the impression on here lately that nothing is going great with me, but then I don't want to join the band wagon of masking the truth. As much as I am not great great right now, I am not depressed in anyway or sad. Still, I choose vulnerable, I choose to be truthfully about where I am at the moment.

So, In that light.....

I cried last night.

Well, more like sobbed. I can be a cry baby sometimes.

But, I just feel like the universe needs to give me a break. All I see are fingers pointing at me and like everyone is just waiting for me to make a mistake to pounce on me. At work (Most especially -___-). At home. Little things. ... And I am there like....

Can I get a break please??? 

This morning, I came out saw my neighbour and another man engrossed in their talk.. I mumbled my ¨Good Morning¨ and went about my business, only for him to just immediately jump at me 

¨Aunty, e ti le ki wa¨ (Aunty, you cant greet us) *Insert a long sigh here* 

This is someone that I would greet on most mornings and he won't answer me oh, but I still greet the next day. All I wanted to scream was ¨LEAVE ME ALONE¨

Last night, I just laid there in the dark and sobbed and talked to God. He won't let me stay there for too long. I wanted some sort of comfort. I NEEDED some. 

There are many things I am not very happy about at this time but I was reminded that through it ALL, He is always there. 

I am Thankful today for Solace in God. A place where I can just be, no accusations, not talk-down, no talk-at, No reminder, Nothing. Just a loving arm I can rest and be lovingly corrected for my mistakes. 

Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death?

 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[b] neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. 39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:35,38-39 NLT

This is Me today! 

I am Thankful today for GOD'S LOVE!!!!!!!!!

Ready to be vulnerable with me? What are you Thankful for through it ALL?  

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Photography: My Jos Trip

Hiii,

I was in Jos sometime last year from work and I've this in my draft since then. I think its just about time I shared the images from that trip.

Now, I think I know why I didn't post them because they were not complete. I will upload this later. Oh.. The chickens? We visited a poultry. Don't ask -___- 

Hope you enjoyed the images? 

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#ThankfulThursday: We Must Praise

Yaaay!!! Its another #ThankfulThursday Honestly, I am almost slipping into the i-dont-care place and not feeling very thankful atall - I know some of you will start wondering 'Whats wrong with this one sef?' - but then there is so much up and down going on right now, what can a girl do? 

Praise anyways! 

So, I am going to pull myself away and still say what I am Thankful for this week! 

- My Heart; This week I felt, I craved not just for the physical but for the intangible. It didn't feel superficial and this hasn't exactly happened in a while and I am extremely grateful for it although I tried to write out a few lines in those moments but that didn't quite work well but I am choosing to focus on what worked :D 

- Ever faithful handbag; I have been the one to ALWAYS carry load in my bag, I must be with atleast 2 journals and a book I am reading then my laptop. I used to carry this zara bag till I was begged to let the bag go - Note that the bag was still in good working condition o *side eyes sisters* I have gone through like 2-3 new bags that just couldn't handle me and my load *rme* but recently my sister gave me this cute medium sized bag that is soooo strong and carries all my load... Yes even my laptop (Its a cute one) ;) 

Small but mighty!!

- Books

- My peeps at kontagora; I spent my service year in Niger state and hearing about the bomb blast that happened yesterday, I quickly sent messages to the people I knew there and thankfully they are alright. Its all fun and games till its people you can put a face and a name to. Nigeria, How long? Sigh!!

- Duvet; Living in a small space this has helped so much especially when there are visitors and my tiny bed can't fit us in... In the last 2weeks I have not been alone and I am grateful that this is there to help ease the harshness of the rug on your skin. *phew* 

- Immerse Academy: I was part of the first batch of this amazing group of women that went through 30-days in the bit to become better women and to propel us to that which God has called us to be. We had an white glam meet-up which was beyond amazing! - If you want to be part of the next batch please contact me! 

Some ladies during the photoshoot

- FlashPushCards; In the bit of being a better woman and growing to become who God has called me to be, I created these FlashpushCard which I am to put before my eyes to help me and remind me of who I am and not fall back to who I used to be. I am sharing them over at DailyExhortations instagram page (Follow along) and make sure to make yours and share with me... Deal?? :)

I am waiting to see yours!

- Sope; I am always grateful for this one! Always, He is there when I need to rant, he is there when I am on the high... Think lowest low and highest high... From Secondary school till now, he's gone through it with me... Chai!! we deserve a medal!! Now, he is leaving me and going across the atlantic ocean!!! :'( and heeeyys Sope, if you're reading this.. I still insist YOU SHOULD'VE GIVEN ME THAT HOODIE!!!!

So, If you are out there and you are like me that is not exactly in the 'Thankful' mood but we praise regardless here is a song that helped me through though times in the past ''Praise you in the storm'' - Casting crown! 

What are you Thankful for? 

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Review: A Lady, her lover and her Lord

Hello People,

How are you doing this week? Its been a while I did a Book review on here. One of the things I enjoy doing is reading and although I have stopped reading all the romance novels and 'Just because' books, I spend most of the time reading purpose-driven books or Fiction writers like Ted Dekker, Francine rivers, Frank Peretti etc. that even though its fiction there's a connection to Truth and all that embodies it.

This my life is too short to waste it taking in Junk.

So, onto the Book. I bought the book in September and I only finished it last weekend and its because I read bits and pieces of 2-3 books at the same time. I know I am not alone on this one.

A Lady, Her Lover and Her Lord - T. D. Jakes

The purpose of the Book is to emphasise the need for Balance in the life of a Lady, words of wisdom from the Bible and the writer on how to achieve it in our modern world.

My Thoughts; 

If you're like me and you love simple-straight-to-the-point writings, you will find yourself getting lost in all T D Jakes grammer that's through out the book and you probably won't get past the 3rd chapter. I really won't blame anyone that doesn't get past the first Book... The Lady!

HOWEVER, If you do push through (like I did ;)) There are ALOT of nuggets that we Ladies tend to forget amidst all the cares of life.

Let me remind you of some (Excerpts);

¨We learn to reach out, but only after we had a chance to reach inward and upward. It is the upward reach of the Spirit and the inward reach of the soul that enables the outward reach of the body¨

¨We train people how to treat us by how we treat ourselves¨

¨You must first establish your own identity¨

¨You will never become a minister as long as you lie in the hospital bed yourself. Get up and help someone else survive what you endured¨

¨Fulfilment is not always a matter of Income¨

¨Become a compass, a guide and avoid becoming everyone's final destination.  Serve them, love them, and then direct them to someone who never fails them. Understand you are not Christ, Just a star. The godly woman is a star.¨

Her Lover;

This is the 2nd part - and the most interesting for me because it gave an insight into the way a Man's mind works not in all the boring phycology terms and what not but in practical terms which makes it knda relatable. T. D. Jakes must have broken alot of 'bro-codes' I am very sure.

Here are some of my underlined 'Aha-moments'

¨The manufacturer would never decide that the product was no good just because it failed to function correctly. The engineer would study the design and alter the materials until he had achieved the desired results. Yet so easily scrap marriage that we have invested years in because of the slightest misalignment. We must remember that anything worth having is worth fighting for¨

¨Men are far different from women, and we need to know to understand those difference¨

¨Trust needs to be handles like a fragile treasure. Its value is great, but it is easily broken. Preserve the trust; a relationship cannot last without it¨

¨When he opens up to you, sometimes your silence will create the greatest impact. A loving nod, a touch, a few words and a kiss are the most effective response. If you want to establish trust, Just listen to him¨

¨A woman who knows what to say can make a man drop his newspaper in the chair and spend the evening in her arms¨ This one made me chuckle

¨Make him feel safe enough to love you¨

....And Most importantly....

Her Lord;

¨Without God all thing are hollow and worthless¨

¨Just run as fast as you can - walk if you must, in fact crawl if necessary - to the Word of God¨

¨You must be a cunning woman. A cunning woman is a woman who is intelligent and discerning enough to know what it is she needs and who possesses the ability to accomplish the goal she has determined. The goal is to have an intimate relationship with God¨

¨If you are not married, take a long, intense look at the one whom you are planning to marry, especially if you see yourself as a woman who will inevitable rise to a position of success and accomplishment. Make sure you are with a man who not only understands your desire to achieve but who is proud of it as well¨ On point!!! 

¨A virtuous woman can manage to have it all. God has shown her how to manage her life, He has shown her hot to choose a man who is not intimidated and who can enter into her life feeling wanted rather than just needed. Do you want to be a woman of virtue? It's hard work, but believe me, it is worth it¨ 

¨I know you might not feel like you have the solutions, but have faith in God and in yourself and answers will come. You and God are the tag team that wins the fights and takes home the trophy¨

***

Note to self

I did enjoy reading the book and when I was done my aim for buying it which I wrote (Picture above) was fulfilled. Learnt to put things in proper perspective although all this learning is for the future when the circle is complete but no knowledge is lost right? I am in training. ;)

I think that Its a book the a Lady should read and when you do pick it up don't lost interest because of all Td Jakes' grammar in the beginning the book picks up and you would enjoy the flow.

My next book?

When Heaven weeps - Ted Dekker! I have read it before but I want to read with fresh eyes :)

You are next!!!

So, Have you read The Lady, Her lover and Her Lord? What did you think? What book are you reading/reading next? 

P.S: Blogger 'bloggers' have you noticed the new option to add pictures from your phone directly??? This is an awesome update I noticed, now I don't have to email myself the picture before I can upload on the blog once its synced I can access it! Whhhoooop!! who else has seen it?

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#ThankfulThursday: Checklists

 Hola!

How are you all doing? Its been a while... Thanks for the encouragement in my last post  I really do appreciate it. Its November!!!!! Whoooop!! And whats with the rain these day that only starts when someone is about to go to work?? I'm grateful for the rain oh, but I would be more grateful if it was during the night -__-

Grateful child!!!!!

:) How have you all been doing?
So, This year has been amazing I cannot lie. The growth has been immense although I can't say that I have a hang of everything yet but I have realised to just do today and not worry about tomorrow or yesterday!

What has been going on with me? Here is a list of everything I'm thankful for since the last #ThankfulThursday 

** There are plenty images continue at your own risk :p **

My Younger sis; She was around for a while and *whispers* I had fun while she was around. We did matching hair and there was so much selfies flying around *Phew*

She can pose for africe

Our very own cinema :) 

My hair: I let my hair out before I did the not protective style.

*Unlooking*

See style!! :D

Length check!!!

My Journal: I wrote from to back this year and not just in sections, Its all muddled up but Its a beautiful mess!!! 

See the difference? 

Green tea; It sure does some wonders. 

Don't ask, don't tell! ;p

Serenity: I took a walk round alausa on a saturday morning in October leaving the world i.e putting off my data  behind. Here are some of the images I got that day! 

The legs that walked the path of righteousness!

My Elder Sis; She is getting married!! Yaaay!!! I'm so excited. Its all happening sooo fast! 

S. Dont. Figure :p 

Please steal the time -______-

Sooooo, What are you Thankful for? Lets hear!!! 

:) 

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I am tempted to quit blogging

A wise man once said to me ¨If you don't know what to write about, then write about the fact that you don't know what to write about¨  

I am taking that piece of Advice today. 

I am tempted to quit on this blog.
I am tempted to just stop writing.
I am tempted to let go and stop being deliberate.
I am tempted to 'Let life just happen'.
I am tempted to just quit.
I am tempted.

I put it out on all my social media accounts about the thought that has been in my head about this online space and the response was overwhelming. I think that it was selfish of me to just want to quit after meeting and making amazing friends via this platform.

The past few weeks have been different in the sense that I didn't take anything slow at all. Everything was fast paced, time was barely enough, life changing decisions to make or not make. Let's just say alot was happening but My God & I kept this space 'busy' for a while.

Although this is not the first time I have nursed the thought, but this is the first time I voiced it out to the public and I didn't know what to expect but the response was really encouraging...

But then one person said to me

¨If that is what you want then go for it¨ 

Which brings me to why I wanted to quit;

* I am using present tense because its an on-going process

I am looking at me; I am looking at me. Looking at what I am not doing right, looking at how my life is busy and how I can't keep up, thinking of how I need to make time to write, thinking of what I want to write. Notice the constant thing? ¨I¨

I am looking at you; Asking questions like ''Who even reads this?'' ''Is this adding value to anyone?'' ''Will anyone notice if I don't continue?'' etc

I am looking at others; ¨Oh my! see how pretty her blog is... Jeez my doesn't even cut it'' ''She's got alot to say everyday, you what are you doing?¨ ¨What? > 20 comments and counting on one... ONE post... Chai¨ These are some of the things I have said to myself.

I was doing all the looking when I should have been looking at/to HIM.

Then I was reminded today;

 But the Lord said, “My grace is all you need. Only when you are weak can everything be done completely by my power.” So I will gladly boast about my weaknesses. Then Christ’s power can stay in me. [2 Cor 12:9 ERV]

So, when I hear things like ''If that is what you want go for it¨ I interpret it as this ¨If that is what you want remember that its not about you'' 

Because 'I' will always want it. I will always want to quit. I will always want to be lazy. I will always want to be uninspired. I will always not want to make the extra effort. I will always..... (fill in the blank for other excuses we make) and if you are also being honest you also want to quit sometimes.

But.... IT'S. NOT. ABOUT. YOU.

Someone also said ¨If its just one person reading...¨ I also take comfort in that too but most importantly remember Gods strength is made perfect in your weakness.

I WAS tempted to quit on this blog.
I WAS tempted to just stop writing.
I WAS tempted to let go and stop being deliberate.
I WAS tempted to 'Let life just happen'.
I WAS tempted to just quit.
I WAS tempted.

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¨There are times when I feel so dry and far from God¨ - My God and I with Bolaji Deborah

FH: About Myself:

            I’m Bolaji Deborah Oluwafunmilayo, also known as Jakin Boaz.
I’m a Christian and just graduated this year from LAUTECH and should be
going for service this November. I am a Project Manager, presently into
skill acquisition and professional training programmes.

            I gave my life to Christ December, 2008 a month after I got
admitted into Lautech.






FH: The events that led to making the decision:

            Though I followed my parents to church and knew the importance
of prayer and fasting, I didn’t know God until I got admitted into Lautech.
As usual on getting to school, I started attending a Baptist church with my
roommate Dolapo. I was opportuned to meet young men and ladies that were so
vibrant and loved God and they were also living a purposeful life. All of
these made me to have a rethink and also encouraged me  to give my life to
Christ.
FH: Challenges I have experienced in my work with God:*

            I have experienced many but will talk on two major ones.
a)      *The need to become a better person*: being the fact I am a
choleric (a born leader), wherever I get to, it only takes a while for me
to have to take up leadership responsibilities. On getting to Lautech and
giving my life to Christ, I became the prayer coordinator of my church in
school in 200L. I was used to talking to people rudely, ordering people
around and getting things done my own way. Before I gave my life to Christ,
I didn’t see anything wrong in these things but as I began my journey with
God, I realized there was a need for a change. I didn’t know how to be
patient, I didn’t know how to love in God’s way, I couldn’t tolerate
people, I saw myself as perfect and not lacking anything and hated when
people give excuses for not getting their work done. Before I knew it I was
having so many issues with my roommate, hostel mates, church members and
people around. I had the challenge of learning to deal and lead people with
my heart and not my head.
b)      *Secondly, challenges with my health*: I have allergy for harsh
weather condition which resulted in consistent cold and catarrh and most
times leads to malaria. My department in school was so demanding, the
leadership responsibility upon me in church was much. I had to study and do
a lot of school assignments and I also had to spend quality time in the
place of prayer, studying my bible and fasting. It was so challenging
because I was always sneezing, having runny nose, had to take cold and
catarrh drugs which required me to rest a lot. Before I knew it, I was
lagging behind in school and also started having spiritual attacks because
as a prayer warrior you stand at the war front for the church. It got to a
stage I knew I was a walking corpse.
FH: Practical steps I took to deal with the challenges:

1)      Concerning the issue of character, I had to take off my garment of
pride, apologized to my roommate and everyone I could apologize to. I also
spoke with my Pastor (Eruke Tauna) and some Christian folks about it. They
encouraged me not to give up, that I could be better if I was willing to
submit totally to the Holy Spirit. I must say that those periods were not
easy at all, I had to walk up to people to talk about it, I cried, took the
blame and apologized. Though not all the relationships were restored
especially with my roommate. I must say that I am not yet there but am
getting better by the day.

2)      Concerning my health, I prayed to God to heal me and the word He
gave me was “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect
in (your) weakness” 2 Corinthians 12:9. I struggled with my health
throughout my stay in school and am still believing God for His healing.
But I honestly don’t know how I made it through in school, how I was among
the best 10 students out of about 200 students that graduated from my
department this year, It was a Miracle, how I was never rushed home because
I was sick was indeed a Miracle. I remember I was telling a friend of mine
(Dami) when we were about to graduate that I was sick and tired of my
health and she said even me that is perfectly okay could not achieve all
you have achieved in your stay in Lautech, I have all the reasons to bless
God.
FH: Times in my walk with God when I don’t exactly feel top notch:

      There are so many times I can’t even count when I feel so dry, so far
away from God like there is no fuel in my tank. No Christian can actually
avoid that moment(s), even David went through such (Psalm 42), this is
needed for growth.

What I do in such times is to be sincere with myself and check to know what
could be wrong.

I go over my favorite bible chapters (Psalm 27, 91, Isaiah 41 and so on). I
also speak to my spiritual friends such as Deborah, Ay, Tope, Dami etc, I
also seek for counsel from my Pastor (Pst. Sina) and my Spiritual father
(Pst Lakin). I spend time in the place of prayer and at times I go for
personal retreats.
FH: My take on sin and how I think we can overcome sin:

      There is no how one continues in sin and expects to grow spiritually.
There are so many things we see, hear and watch these days that are killing
our spirit. You can’t block your ears and eyes because whether you like it
or not, you will come across these things daily on tv, radio, internet,
neighbourhood and even at home.

One thing I will say is that we should know and be sincere with ourselves.
If you know you have problem of lust, you should screen the movies you
watch, the sites you browse when online, what you say with your friends,
what you think and meditate on. Likewise, anyone having issues with hatred
should stay away from drawing conclusions on people’s behavior, be
contended with whatever you have, learn to tolerate people and many others.

Getting an accountability patner will also help a lot. Speak to your
someone (it could be your Christian friend, your pastor or your mentor,
just make sure that the person has got your back) about the sin you are
struggling with, ask for their advice, tell them the steps you will be
taking, tell them to check on you at intervals to see if you are doing well
and also tell them to join you in prayer.

      One must not forget that the flesh does not have power over sin, only
the spirit does. Always make sure you feed your spirit daily by studying
and meditating on the word of God and also praying and fasting.
FH: Most Remarkable time/season of my life:*

      That was when I was led by the Holy Spirit to stay back in Ogbomoso
for my IT, left to me I wanted to come to Lagos. It wasn’t easy for me
because the pay was so small. During that period, I had time to really
speak to God and I discovered so many things I didn’t know about myself. I
got a clear understanding of God’s purpose for my life and God also gave me
a new name “JAKIN BOAZ” which means security and stability (2 Chronicles
3:15-17 Message bible).

FH: My relationship with God today:

      I am really learning a lot daily, I have come to realize that without
Him, I am nothing. I hear God say to me always that He has not brought me
this far and leave me.
FH: Words of encouragement to people in whatever phase they are right now:

 I will say to everyone out there to draw near to their Creator, He
knows everything about you, your weakness and strength. He will not and
never leave you nor abandon you. You are a work in progress, your life
might not look like the vision God showed you but He is not through with
you.

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