A wise man once said to me ¨If you don't know what to write about, then write about the fact that you don't know what to write about¨
I am taking that piece of Advice today.
I am tempted to quit on this blog.
I am tempted to just stop writing.
I am tempted to let go and stop being deliberate.
I am tempted to 'Let life just happen'.
I am tempted to just quit.
I am tempted.
I put it out on all my social media accounts about the thought that has been in my head about this online space and the response was overwhelming. I think that it was selfish of me to just want to quit after meeting and making amazing friends via this platform.
The past few weeks have been different in the sense that I didn't take anything slow at all. Everything was fast paced, time was barely enough, life changing decisions to make or not make. Let's just say alot was happening but
My God & I kept this space 'busy' for a while.
Although this is not the first time I have nursed the thought, but this is the first time I voiced it out to the public and I didn't know what to expect but the response was really encouraging...
But then one person said to me
¨If that is what you want then go for it¨
Which brings me to why I wanted to quit;
* I am using present tense because its an on-going process
I am looking at me; I am looking at me. Looking at what I am not doing right, looking at how my life is busy and how I can't keep up, thinking of how I need to make time to write, thinking of what I want to write. Notice the constant thing? ¨
I¨
I am looking at you; Asking questions like ''Who even reads this?'' ''Is this adding value to anyone?'' ''Will anyone notice if I don't continue?'' etc
I am looking at others; ¨Oh my! see how pretty her blog is... Jeez my doesn't even cut it'' ''She's got alot to say everyday, you what are you doing?¨ ¨What? > 20 comments and counting on one... ONE post... Chai¨ These are some of the things I have said to myself.
I was doing all the looking when I should have been looking at/to
HIM.
Then I was reminded today;
But the Lord said, “My grace is all you need. Only when you are weak can everything be done completely by my power.” So I will gladly boast about my weaknesses. Then Christ’s power can stay in me. [2 Cor 12:9 ERV]
So, when I hear things like '
'If that is what you want go for it¨ I interpret it as this
¨If that is what you want remember that its not about you''
Because 'I' will always want it. I will always want to quit. I will always want to be lazy. I will always want to be uninspired. I will always not want to make the extra effort. I will always..... (fill in the blank for other excuses we make) and if you are also being honest you also want to quit sometimes.
But.... IT'S. NOT. ABOUT. YOU.
Someone also said ¨If its just one person reading...¨ I also take comfort in that too but most importantly remember
Gods strength is made perfect in your weakness.
I WAS tempted to quit on this blog.
I WAS tempted to just stop writing.
I WAS tempted to let go and stop being deliberate.
I WAS tempted to 'Let life just happen'.
I WAS tempted to just quit.
I WAS tempted.
