I found a secret that saves

I saw the book in a corner as I was set to leave home after a long wedding weekend. It wasn't the green cover or petit-ness of the book that made me pick up or the fact that it was the same Author that wrote 'Prayer of Jabez' another book that rocked my world... I don't believe in coindicences and it is obvious that God did want me to read it at this particular point in time. 

And I am sooooo grateful for that. 

I started the book immediately in the car on my way back to my base and Initially I was just facinated at the retell of 

John 15 when Jesus was talking about the vine and us as the branches. Oh! the name of the book is 'Secrets of the vine' by Bruce Wilkinson its the second part to 'Prayer of Jabez' 

It's a book I recommend for anyone and it basically has every season of your christian walk. Everyone wondering why? Everyone in a dark place, you'd definitely find yourself in one of the categories of branches that was mentioned. 

The one that mostly stood out for me was 'Abiding' the state of Abiding in God. The frustration of having a stale walk with God and the dissatisfaction that also comes with it. The writer had a similar experience and the truth dawned on him

''God didn't want me to do more for him. He wanted me to be more with him" 

and this was my defining moment, we do so much for God that we forget to be more with him. I am forgetting to be more with him and this was a great reminder to turn things around and not lose sight of what is important. 

In that moment, there was hope and I know that this is the way out of this rut, going back to being with him as against running around for him. 

I also encourage you to look through and if you're going through something similar just remember that God loves you and more than ever HE wants to fellowship with you. He is bidding you 'come' 

Abide in Jesus...

If you find the book, please do get it or just look for it!!! It's worth every bit of it. 

Abide in Jesus...

John 15 1-5 “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2 He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes[a] so that it will be even more fruitful. 3 You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. 4 Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing

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Dear 18-year-old-me

Hey Girl,

I see you just turned 18 and I know you are uber-excited. Mummy Bankole will call you today and tell you these words ''You're 18 now, you've become responsible'' and she means it but something she missed out is  responsibility is not imputed to you because of your age, you have to learn to be it. Don't brush it off, own it and learn to be responsible.

Look at you all innocent, Its cute and all but I need you to quit being innocent this has gotten you in trouble and from the look of things will get you into more trouble. I'm not trying to be hard on you, let me explain what I mean. I know you are intelligent, but I need you to be sharp and stop being oblivious and really take responsibilty for your life. Not everyone has your best intentions at heart. Stop assuming everyone does.

In the same light(but may sound contradictory) do not lose your trust in people, balance is key. Balance it out. Wisdom is profitable to direct.
I know right now you are battling with low self esteem because nobody exactly believes in you but let me tell you one thing you are smart and in about a year from now you will have every reason to doubt what you've believed about yourself for most of your teenage years. Its not going to be an easy phase for you but you need to start believing in yourself for yourself. Get ready.

I know you hold alot of resentment against your parents right now for not believing in you, for sending you to that school without their proper research about it and the other little things that lead you here but I promise it will get better, you will get better. Forgive. Really Forgive, because you are just hurting yourself by holding that much toxic stuff inside and its beginning to make you bitter. Let it go because when you finally do some years from now, you will wonder why you didn't earlier.

Do.not.date.boys. DONT! and shun those ones that don't even what to define what they want from you, really. This piece of advice is not for now, keep it in your left palm you will need it in a few years. Trust me.

I know you go to church on Sunday and you believe in Jesus but I need you to stop being lukwarm about it, its more that what mummy says or what you should do to not go to hell, God wants a relationship with you. God shouldn't be a part of your life, your life should be centred around him and your life will be better for it, contrary to what you think right now the 'SU' is not an extreme, its the life. little hint, You will live like one soon! oh yes, without earring and trousers.

I see you forbidding it. Lol. best believe girl!

Finally, I love you very much. These are some of the things I wish you knew about in this phase of your life but I am grateful. Grateful for you, grateful to you for who I am now. Thank you for being too innocent to a fault, Thank you for all your flaws, thank you for the ignorant mistakes you made and thank you for being focused and firm with your dreams.

Every step, every misstep, every decision you made and the ones you didn't make led me here. Exactly where God has me today. Thank you.

Thank God.
Cheers to the future!

24!

Ever think of writing a letter to your old self? What advice will you give your younger self?
***

Have you come to an end of yourself? Have you come to a point where nothing else seems to be working out and you've tried all you could? Click to meet GRACE

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¨That is just how I am, Don't try to change me¨

-_-

Can I be brutally honest? Please, permit me.

I have heard alot of people say and I am sure i’ve said it also at some point.

¨That is just who I am, you either accept it or you don’t’’

‘’If you Love me, you will take me as I am and not try to change me¨

Even for the better? 

Or something along those lines, and for a while this was cool and normal to say. I particularly have a friend that says this but I am coming to an understanding that because ¨That’s how I am¨ shouldn't be an excuse for me to stay in a mess or an excuse to not change my bad behaviour.

Now, We have a sin nature. Should I now say ¨This is just who I am¨ everytime I sin? and that should be my excuse to stay sinning? or you have an anger issue and your excuse for everytime you lose it is ¨That’s just who I am¨ even to an average person it should sound ridiculous and the Bible says in [Romans 6:1-2 ¨What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin so that grace may increase? May it never be! How shall we who died to sin still live in it?¨]

We are called to live the life of Christ [ Gal 2:20 ]. I repent from saying things like this, because we believers will keep saying things like this until it becomes only what we know and live by. How then can we be separate?

I am in no way saying that you should be perfect and that is exactly the point.

let me explain.

The Life that you now live is Christ and NO! this is not just how you are, incase you’ve forgotten let me remind you of who you are…

You are the daughter/son of a King...A joint heir with Christ...God’s representative...A royal priesthood...A peculiar nation...You’re Loved..You’re seated with Christ...Clothed with righteousness…

You’re all that and so much more. I mean YOU HAVE THE LIFE OF CHRIST IN YOU C’mon!

Its time we start living like that.

It’s not just who you are but who you are in Christ. And when a loved one sees you and sees that who you really are and your current reality doesn’t reflect that, they help to bring you up to that image of Christ. [Proverbs 27:17]

So, you won’t keep saying ¨If you Love me, you won’t try to change me¨ but understand that just as God loves us so much that he won’t leave us the way he met us, your loved ones are also trying to bring out the best in you.

 You don't want someone that genuinely loves you.

Stop playing defence.

Trust the God in them.

Trust God.

Be transformed into his image [ And our faces are not covered. We all show the Lord’s glory, and we are being changed to be like him. This change in us brings more and more glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. 2 Cor 3:18]

….and contrary to popular opinion That’s not just the way you are!!


Have you come to an end of yourself? Have you come to a point where nothing else seems to be working out and you've tried all you could? Click to meet GRACE

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256: Cumi

My name is Deborah.
It was my first time. I only needed this time to throw into the ocean what had been an abomination to me previously. Just this one time.

I got caught... 

17, I met and started to experience these specie of human beings. The unsatisfied, the greedy, the perv Specie of the homo sapiens or like my sister will call them "Dirty Old men". I got the occasional winks. "Let me drop you by your house" and all that was fine until it became within close proximity.

18, I started an Internship. First day of work, met with my line manager, supervisor and overall Manager of the Department. It all started with little campaigns as entrusting me with the key to his office, commenting on my innocent look, asking to be his typist in my spare time leading to me earning his Trust - Maybe a little too much, so much that he left a pornographic clip playing in one of his 'Come and stay in my office while I go out' routines and said "Whatever you see there should not leave this Office"

I was wise enough to run before he demanded I do what I saw in the video clip...

I got dragged to the Master...

19, I started my 2nd Internship uncermoniously. On a faithful day, walking into his office to report some work done, He 'pinned' me to the wall in his office. Trying to convince me to kiss him, he placed his hand on his member trying to show me his hard-on.
"Look what you've caused" He said.
I managed to free myself from the 'pin down' without kissing him. Few days later, 2 cute boys and a woman with a protruding belly walked into the office, they were his family but he hadn't been wearing a ring.

"I noticed your countenance dropped when you saw my boys, you didn't do anything. You shouldn't feel bad" was what he said to me when he called me later in the evening.

I was disgusted.

I fell to my knees...

20, Messages going back and forth. I like him, He likes me. He also has a family.

We are not having an affair, we just acknowledge and a couple of flirtatious text messages and calls doesn't do anybody any harm. It was only a matter of time before we took the 'passion' out of the text messages and into reality. It felt good, good enough for me to meet up a 2nd time and a 3rd...

4:00pm Friday, 24th August, 2001

Deb: Hey You.
P: I was just thinking about you
Deb: really? What about?
P: I miss your lips
Deb: hmmm... 
P: Available tomorrow?
Deb: Yes, Time?
P: 6pm. Rm 256. Same place.
Deb: See you Then.
P: :) 
. . .

bang! bang!! 
On the door.
"Are you expecting anyone?" I asked as I stood up to open the door. Once I unbolted the door it flung open and shouts filled the atmosphere.

'Husband snatcher' 
'Useless girl' 
'They' dragged me to this mysterious looking man

I fell to my knees...

I fell to my knees in his presence drowning in the guilt and thought of what will befall me in a minute or 2, he turned his back to 'them' that dragged me down to him after saying something to them that I didn't hear and gradually the shouts died down and you could hear them leave, one after the other. I trembled and still couldn't lift up my head.

I flinched when he tapped me.
"Where are they that accuse you? Has no one condemned you?"

Still confused at what just happened or who this man is "No" I replied

"Neither do I, Go and Sin no more"

I stood up and glanced with curiosity at what he scribbled on the sand

"256"
I looked up at him again and he smiled and said

"I know all"

***Cumi is based on a true life story using John 8:1-11 as a backbone***
What stood out for you?

Have you come to an end of yourself? Have you come to a point where nothing else seems to be working out and you've tried all you could? Click to meet GRACE

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He caught up with me finally.

google image

With one eye opened foreign tongue in the background, i’m standing there “preparing my mind” and wondering “why hasn’t this happened to me?”

i was about 14 years old and it was cadet camp (Thats foursquare version of children camp), that year passed and i had still not felt the holy spirit the way they all said he would just come down and fall on you, and the next year and the next year.

“Maybe the holy spirit isn’t for you after all” I said to myself after raising my hands countless times and preparing my mind under the ministeration of various men of God.

I gave up.

But God doesn’t give up on you does he?

A part of me wanted the experience and the other part of me gave up since it hadn’t happened all these years.

i’m 22(.5) *side eye* and he finally caught up with me, did i hear halleluyah? I thought so too ;)

I was looking for a church to attend in Kontagora then and that sunday i told the bike man to take me to the Redeem church over there, just pointing my hand in one direction and in that my small church i felt the holy spirit and i was too sure i was in the right place, i didnt start speaking in tongues at the time but that alone was an amazing experience, the peace that washed over me after that? Ever heard of the peace that passeth all understanding? Then the Joy? Amazing, but i wanted more, i wanted to speak in tongues like everyone else, maybe that was where i missed it. I didnt understand the purpose of the Spirit and why i needed him, i just wanted it because i didn’t want to be the only one praying in English when everyone around me is praying in heavenly language.

I Chilled.

I would wake up in the middle of the night and pray for the holy spirit and wait and wait for the heavenly language that i could not explain. Nothing.

I cried. Nothing

I gave Thanks. Nothing.

Sometime in Ocotber 2012 a family friend (Titus) came over the house to ask my sister and i if we wanted to go for a prayer session specially just to recieve the holy spirit, i was excited and i jumped at it, my spirit obeyed the man of God and recieved the holy spirit that day, i spoke in tongues but.....

Not for long, i had doubts “Am i the one really speaking” “Jeez girl, you sound so weird stick to english”

After that day the only time i remember speaking in tongues was when i woke up from a very bad dream speaking aloud in tongues, balling my eyes out then... Nothing

I did not feel a thing, i gave my self the stick to english prayer speech but it was far from over, Once again i started to Thrist for the Holy spirit and it became frustrating at some point because it started being about the personal experience and i wasn’t getting it even after praying and knowing so much truths about who i am in christ.

2am on the 19th of Jan, i went on my knees, sang worship songs, prayed for forgivenessand started asking for the power of the holy spirit to come upon me, i was repeating one of the prayers (which i can’t remember) when it happened..

you know when you are on one side of a large crossable-gutter then suddenly you jumo and you are on the other side and wonder how you made it there? (You don’t? what happened to your childhood? no gutter jumping? *smh*)

Thats exactly how i felt and i felt it all over my body too and i could hear myself speak a language i didn’t understand.

He caught up with me... Finally and i am so grateful.

Want to share your first experience with the holy spirit with us? Use the comment box or with me? Send me an email tomi.akibo@gmail.com. i definitely want to hear it. Thanks!

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New Blog design

Hello Everyone and Happy New Month.

This is just to show off my new blog, i think i have grown out of being a DramaQueen and as such the blog should also grow with me.

*Drum rolls*

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