Will you keep quiet?

Let us pray for the change we need and also be available for service!!! 

She said to me ¨Where are you?¨
I simply replied ¨Hiding¨
Hiding in my ignorance.
This selective ignorance the shields me from her pain
Can you see her pain?
Can you feel the blood as they drip.
1 too many to continue to count.
1 by one she drops... pieces of her essence.
But NO MORE...
NO MORE, I scream.
NO MORE, I Scream..
again I Scream.
It's 2015 and its time for positive change.
It's time for me to wipe her tears, Its time for you to stop the pain.
Its time for us to stop the bloodshed.
Change is me.
Change is you.
Change is up.
Let your voice count!

#PrayForNigeria!!!!!!!!!!

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I found a secret that saves

I saw the book in a corner as I was set to leave home after a long wedding weekend. It wasn't the green cover or petit-ness of the book that made me pick up or the fact that it was the same Author that wrote 'Prayer of Jabez' another book that rocked my world... I don't believe in coindicences and it is obvious that God did want me to read it at this particular point in time. 

And I am sooooo grateful for that. 

I started the book immediately in the car on my way back to my base and Initially I was just facinated at the retell of 

John 15 when Jesus was talking about the vine and us as the branches. Oh! the name of the book is 'Secrets of the vine' by Bruce Wilkinson its the second part to 'Prayer of Jabez' 

It's a book I recommend for anyone and it basically has every season of your christian walk. Everyone wondering why? Everyone in a dark place, you'd definitely find yourself in one of the categories of branches that was mentioned. 

The one that mostly stood out for me was 'Abiding' the state of Abiding in God. The frustration of having a stale walk with God and the dissatisfaction that also comes with it. The writer had a similar experience and the truth dawned on him

''God didn't want me to do more for him. He wanted me to be more with him" 

and this was my defining moment, we do so much for God that we forget to be more with him. I am forgetting to be more with him and this was a great reminder to turn things around and not lose sight of what is important. 

In that moment, there was hope and I know that this is the way out of this rut, going back to being with him as against running around for him. 

I also encourage you to look through and if you're going through something similar just remember that God loves you and more than ever HE wants to fellowship with you. He is bidding you 'come' 

Abide in Jesus...

If you find the book, please do get it or just look for it!!! It's worth every bit of it. 

Abide in Jesus...

John 15 1-5 “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2 He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes[a] so that it will be even more fruitful. 3 You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. 4 Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing

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BIG on the little details

The irony right. HE is unconventional like that.

Exodus 25-30

¨You must build this Tabernacle and its furnishings exactly according to the pattern I will show you¨ Ex 25:9

I was reading exodus and boy was I tripped, I’ve heard pastor talk about the verse a number of times but was just I was just reading it myself. It was amazing.

For 5 chapters (each with 20-40+ verses) God gave instructions in height, cubit, colour, candle wax, wood type, cloth material EVERYTHING about the temple. Nothing was left to ‘chance’ or ‘Man’s intelligence’

Looking back at noah and the ark ¨This is how you are to build it… ¨ Gen 6:15 God gave him detailed instructions.

What this says to me is this, God is big on details, he doesn’t leave anything to chance and HE sure doesn’t do half measures.

God is BIG on the details of the world.

God is BIG on the details of his church.

God is BIG on the details of your Life.

He was involved in the times of Moses, He is involved today. He is the same yesterday, today and forever (Hebrews 13:8)

1 Peter 2:5 (NIV)

¨you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house[a] to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ¨

God is BIG on the ‘house’ that he’s building and he has given us a pattern… Jesus.

More than giving us the pattern, he showed us how to live and more than showing us, He documented for us (Bible)

Let us endevour to…

Live like him (Gal 2:20)

Love like him

Be his repesentatives on the earth.

God has gone all out for us; Jesus and HE doesn’t do half measures, Its time for us to get with the program.

We can’t keep claiming to be believers yet our lives signify otherwise.

¨The Holy Spirit is the Spirit of right standing/right doing. Any right standing with GOD that doesn't culminate into right Doing is false¨ - Kenny Kore

As believers, we should BE HIM, LIVE HIM! (Gal 2:20)

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Dear Future Husband

Hello Everyone,

How has your week been? So, randomly when i'm looking for something around my room I find old journals. This weekend, I found an old prayer journal and found this written at the back and sometimes I wonder the things that was going through my mind at the time. Anyways, Too much talk. Enjoy!

*Face palm*

7/3/2014

Dear Future husband,

I envy you alot because you are getting the best deal from God as a wife at the same time, I dont because sometimes, I cant live with myself I wonder how you will be able to cope inm those times. Gods grace is sufficient right?

No Pressure -__-

Why do I find myself thinking about you lately? Do I know you yet? or will you just  show up and everything will fall into place?

Know I Love you already! And I pray for you - alot.

I told God that I wanted to look at my side everyday for the rest of my life and go ¨Thank you, I got more than I asked¨ Like I would know I don’t deserve you but he blessed me anyways, you know just like Gods grace… 

So Yes, I envy me for the super-awesome person you are or God is moulding you to be.

But, please, be quick. Can’t wait to shower this plenty love on you.

errrmm....

Your wife in waiting,

The Best deal in God's Vineyard

'Tomilola

Are you like me and you've had conversation about your future husband to God? Care to share? I want to listen

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... Of gratitude, Birthdays and coming out

...From under the rock -_-

Disclaimer: This post is filled with pictures :) and the word "Amazing" will be overused 

I've been MIA on purpose. I NEEDED a break. The original plan was to to just go somewhere for a week (As my budget allowed) and just get away from everything without internet and just have fun, evaluate my life and come back to reality but... Nothing went as planned except the scheduled time I took off work.

I resumed today.
This is also going to be a random post, very random.

My Twin brother is around and was waiting for my vacation to come to Lagos and he did! Oh, I have a twin brother :) The Luke of my Lukina :)

Power twins :) 

My Birthday was on Saturday, 26th, I turned 24. (Mans are getting old x_x)

This was the morning of my Birthday, I bought the dress a while ago and locked it in a nylon (because I couldn't afford a stain on it) but during the wait, between when I bought it and my birthday I took out the dress and wore it, it fit me sooo well... Couldn't resist. In those times I must have stained it and on that morning I brought the dress out from its 'secured' place and there were stains on it, imagine the horror... contemplated not wearing it again... another horror, then another option was wash the stained part and wait for it to dry because I wasn't scheduled to go out till like 2 pm... I went with the wash option. Hung it in the centre of the room where the ceiling fan is supposed to be, don't ask how my hands reached there -_- Luke was just laughing his head off while I was at it. 

You guessed right, The dress didn't dry dry but nothing body heat couldn't fix ;) Don't lie you've done it before. 

My half dried dress 

By the time we finished taking pictures my lovely brother knew he would comment and say 

"You can't go out like this or go to a mans house like this, there will be no room for the holy spirit"    -________- 

I decided to change quickly and head out, I got to my friends place and apparently he had planned to take pictures of me, I had no clue. I would've brought a make-up purse or mentally prepared to be standing in front of the camera but He is an amazing photographer and good looking, it was very easy to smile back at him, I had no need to worry ;) Here are some of the images we got;

In my mind "Hope I don't look ridiculous in this pose" 

My Fav! 

Girls gotta make a funny face

I look like a minion

I promise you, I wasn't bored

Executive somebori!

Shying Thinz 

"Give me any pose"and this is the best I could come up with x_x 

Ps: I am still receiving birthday gifts ;)

For more reasons than one, This was my Best Birthday! And when Tomiwa asked me to say 24 things I am grateful for and I started cracking my head at about number 10, I realised I had categorised all the little blessings into ''Family" "Life" "Love" Then I realised that I needed to count them one after another, Its the little things that summed this up to be my best birthday :) and since its #ThankFulThursday! let me go ahead with it, 24 things I am grateful for in the last year although this is not exactly what i told him but at the end of the day, it sums up to this;

1. Family (Dad, mum, Sisters)
2. Luke
3. Following through with decisions made
4. The ones that left
5. Sope
6. Kovie
7. The Bible
8. Understanding of the word
9. Church community
10. Plans that didn't work out
11. Growth
12. Friends (Lamide, Tomiwa, Ayomiku, Sammy, Ibukun, Tinu, Adeoti, Esther)
13. Toyosi
14. Peace
15. Leading of the Holy Spirit
16. Personal Space
17. Gospel of Jesus
18. Privilege to be used by God
19. Deji
20. Love in my heart
21. Provision
22. Coffee -_-
23. Being able to write what people can relate with
24. YOU!!!!!

I am thinking of changing up a few things on this space so I can be more consistent. Yes, take this as my welcome back note :)

Speaking of Birthdays, Its Kovie's today! A truly Amazing woman, Gotta Love her :) God bless you darl :*

Now, life has pretty much gone back to what it used to be like except for a few changes which I am excited about and my heart is full, very grateful for the HUGE blessings disguised as ''little things"

Can you see the resemblance? 

From Luke and Lukina: Cheers to July and Lets have an A-amazing August!

God Bless you!

What are you grateful for? Share with us

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I really thought I heard God this time

I thought I heard God...

I thought he led me to make the decision?

I thought he led me to walk in this path?

source

I wrote down this title a day before I had a reason to write it out

If I heard him direct me why are things not working out? These were one of my thoughts when I decided to cut my hair last year

Nothing has gone as planned in the last 2 months. By May 2014, I knew exactly where I would be at the end of the year and mentally gotten myself ready why?

I thought I heard God...

And I did.

I mapped out my life accordingly, took the necessary leaps of faith but I landed right in the pit. This is not to analyse what I hear or question its authenticity because I was very sure I was led to this point.

But here I am, July 2014 Nothing gone has planned and really NOTHING to show for it.

I really thought I heard God...

I was quick to equate obedience of the said instructions to success of MY plans. I forgot I don't belong to myself and God has his own plans. Like every other time I seek counsel, I ran to the WORD.

I've been reading the Book of Genesis since last week and its filled with alot of ''I thought I heard God moments"
My perfect example is Joseph. God had birth the dream but the next phases of his life said nothing about where he will end up. Abraham's ''I thought I heard God" moment didn't also end like he thought it will.

Gods standard for following an instruction and it being a success is not what the world will define as success today. I have come to understand that because I heard God doesn't mean I will automatically measure up to the worlds standard of success.

Because I heard God is the exact recipe for following due process. God is a God of process and will form, mould and ultimately use us for his glory.

Because I heard God (no matter what it looks like) and followed his leading, in that I should take comfort, He never leaves and is is ever present in our present and most assuredly in our future.

Gods reality in NOT according to the worlds system, He follows process and he is in the process with us every step of the way. If you're like me and although you know God led you to a point but everything seems to be falling apart like a pack of cards, do not be anxious or be discouraged. Take comfort in the fact that you are exactly where he wants you to be. He is in your process and his purpose for your being wherever you are will be fulfilled.

Don't be discouraged. Only Trust wholly!!

Have a blessed Tuesday! :)

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What's PMS got to do with it?

Disclaimer: There is the excessive use of the word ''Period" in this post. Every Pun is intended in the post. Enjoy!

Hello There!!

Its that time of the month!

Different people have their different names for this "Short" period in their month. I asked my bbm contacts last night and I got different names like Mr red, Red robots, Nkan osu, and Monica peters ( Don't ask) -__-

Now, this is not really about the names girls give their "Time of the month" but I want to emphasize more on the things that happen before and after.

Hello PMS (Pre menstrual syndrome) and if you don't understand that, Its the moodish thing women get into around the time of their period.

Men have the idea that its when the woman is on her periods that is the no-go-area time, however they do not know/understand that its the before that is the exact time to avoid. The symptoms differ with people while some people have a shorter PMSing time some others have for a longer period.

I told my sister last weekend that I needed a break from being a woman as I started noticing that I have only about one week ''break" as a normal human being without hormonal imbalance (Whatever that means) point is, my PMSing period has increased and it is not as pretty as it sounds.

Once upon a time, I noticed in these time(s) I become very irritable, cry alot more, get depressed and mood swings like a pendulum bob the whole nine, It really wasn't funny anymore. I know there are people that will say "Its normal" but I am not from here and it just doesn't sound normal in the kingdom I come from to be up and down depending on the time of the month. It also didn't sit well with me, so I did what was natural.

I went to drop it all at HIS feet and asked for help not to be swayed by every wave of emotions and feelings, and that I didn't like how ''That time of the month" defined my mood. He helped and I consciously decided to stick to it, I noticed the difference. I wasn't getting depressed or irritable and I DIDN'T CRY!! It became a breezy period.

I soon started to forget. I woke up moody and stayed there yesterday for the first time in a long time, reading the Bible and praying that usually got me up and running was a drab :( I managed a smile at least, but I knew it didn't reach my mind.

In the course of the day I was talking to my friend and he asked me "Why do I get the funny feeling that you are struggling with you?"  He was right but I also didn't know it was evident, I KNEW nothing was wrong with me but I was also battling not to slip and give into a full blown moody me. He reminded me of alot of truths and one hit home.

Had to frame it

"Feelings are temporary and fleeting. Never base any fundamental thing on them. Instead, make an anchor for your soul. Let it be your firm assurance"

The spirit reminded me that the "Pms-ing" was the reason I was all moody and recluse earlier in the day, it was a relief to know the root cause.

Yes! PMS is real, so is every other ''Feeling" and "emotion" that goes contrary to who you really are in Christ, It affects us but we have to make conscious effort to be rooted and grounded in the knowledge of who we are and constantly remind ourselves of that truth. Before we get rooted we have to know exactly who we are right?

I will leave you with a question he asked me

"Who are you?"

Have a wonderful July!!

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Lights and Shadow II

"Without one there is not the other and at the presence of that one the other disappears" ~ Lights and shadows 

"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for thou art with me" ~ King David

Rick warren said in his interview with piers Morgan when he was talking about his son's suicide, that even in the valley of the shadow of death, God is there because there can't be a shadow without light.

that resonated with me, I had always had the idea that we are supposed to go through hard times by ourselves and if we make it through, we got a medal then be free to enjoy the good time (or something like that)

But, in my study of the word I found out that we do not have a High Priest Who is unable to understand and sympathize and have a shared feeling with our weaknesses and infirmities and liability to the assaults of temptation, but One Who has been tempted in every respect as we are, yet without sinning. 

Let us then fearlessly and confidently and boldly draw near to the throne of grace (the throne of God’s unmerited favor to us sinners), that we may receive mercy [for our failures] and find grace to help in good time for every need [appropriate help and well-timed help, coming just when we need it] [Hebrews 4: 15-16][Amp]


Even in our dark moments, he gives us shadows and shadows are only present when there is light. We might be going through our darkest hours but lets look at the shadow and take comfort.
You may not "feel" him, what am i even saying? more than half the time, you will not feel anything. But like we have said, We are a people that don't live our lives by what we feel, we live by what we know.

In the beginning was the word and the word was with God and the word was God [John 1:1]

We are a people that take God by his word because that is what is the whole embodiment of who he is, His word.
When he says Yes, he means it and no one can say No. 
Its so easy for people to believe by faith "For God so loved the word that he gave his only begotten son..." [John 3:16]

What makes the promise of "I will never leave you nor forsake"  [Isaiah 42:16, Heb 13:5, Deut 31:6, Josh 1:5] you any different? 

Because we get process his love that is beyond our knowledge in our minds? But thats taken care of, because all we need is faith and He has given to us the measure of faith [Romans 12:3] 
In this our dark hours, lets hold on to his word (easier said than done, I know but more rewarding) by faith and take comfort in his promise.

God never fails and he is not going to start with you. Look ahead, can you see the light?

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#TruthSeries: Why I don't take alcohol

I sat up on the bed as i heard the constant knocking against the ceramics, the noise filled the atmosphere with the grunts of pain.
I sat still as all the memories just kept flooding in "When will all this end" I said, more out of pity than spite.
We've come a long way to still be spiteful about this. Scenarios upon scenarios came crashing on my shoulders, weight i wasn't ready to carry this midnight. 

The late nights.

The stench.

The endless rants.

The lets-pretend-lastnight-didn't-happen mornings

The promises.

The broken promises.

Time and time again "I will reduce it" was all we heard, if the efforts were obvious, the mirage of the words would have been a little tangible. But, Shadows, we still chasing.

One memory that cannot fade - I came at you like a roaring lion - barking it out at past midnight, my frustrations, my hurt about your other thorn. Wrong timing, i agree. I was hurt.

I'm not even married to you yet I feel cheated and betrayed constantly with every obvious lie. What you think? I'm 12? You raised me smarter than that, you should know better.

The knocking against the ceramics from the next room has not stopped "Why do you do this to yourself" I ask myself. Somethings we never understand but "they" also say the first step to solving a problem is acknowledging the problem right?
How can we work together to solve this problem, if everyone but you sees this as a problem?

Thats why all efforts has been futile all these years, prayers seeming unanswered. 
Then i heard again "Don't blame them when they don't see the problem, the forces working against them are higher. Deal with the forces"(Paraphrased)
 After that i stopped blaming you, stopped resenting, I let it go. 

Then I almost became you. 

I made a mistake once that cost me one of the most important things in my life. For someone that doesn't take alcohol, for a very silly reason I downed more than half a bottle of white wine. 
No, I won't re-tell my misbehavior.  I will only re-tell the most painful part of it. In the midst of my half-conscious misbehavior and not being able to put a filter in my mouth she said to me

"You are just behaving like your father" 

The one sentence that  has ever cut through my very essence, even in the chemically induced state. The pain from the cut brought tears, although I laughed out almost immediately(blame the drink). I've forgiven her.  I never forgot, I never forget. 

My name is S.
And I will never drink anything alcoholic again. 

Have you come to an end of yourself? Have you come to a point where nothing else seems to be working out and you've tried all you could? Click to meet GRACE

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Abnormal: The new Norm.

"Who among us has never stolen something from his mother" This was the question that came up when a group of university boys sat down to discuss in the hostel that afternoon.

Tk proudly indicated that he had never stolen from his mother, with the roar of "You are a liar" "Not even one meat from the pot?" "Go away" "In all your life" "Liar" he got from the other boys surprised him. He had to keep quiet. 

Listening to her relate the story her son told her got me thinking, 

Is it not the right thing(Morally) to not steal from your mother? Is it not the right thing for a government official not to loot? 

Is it not the right thing not to cheat during exams?

Is it not the right thing to speak the truth? Is it not the right thing to put the exact amount on a business proposal?

The list is endless...

When did normal become abnormal? when did speaking the truth make you uncool?  when did not cheating during exams mean labeling you "SU" 

Regardless of what we all think, there are still "abnormal" people who just want to do what is normal to do.

If someone asks me "Are you a virgin" and i say "Yes" the next thing you hear is "Its a lie, say the truth" You get labelled old school because you just want to abstain till you get married.

I ask myself again. 

When did normal become abnormal now making abnormal the norm?

When doesn't really matter now does it? The deed is done.

The way out? i have no answers for that. but i just have a challenge for everyone that abnormal is now the normal for them.

How about trying something normal for the change?

how about we just want to do right just because its the right thing to do? How about we start believing that there are actually people who just want to do the right thing and you can be part of them?

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Dear Future Me

**Disclaimer: This post is really going to be long. i really hope you don't sleep off on us.**

I'm not sleeping - Yet, i'm thinking about the future. Really -____-

I got this letter from the past, I wrote it a year ago(September 8, 2012) i didn't get to read it till Monday morning(I don't sync my mail with my phone) and i had serious mixed feelings, wanted to cry and laugh at the same time. Cry because, its all i needed to hear at this time and laugh at my small humor and how much I've grown. I can only be forever grateful to the Lord of Hosts. Really, You will understand why when you read the letter and my reply. I decided to post this personal stuff here because, I really just want to brag on God.

Here goes nothing and everything.

Dear Future Me,

Hey girl.

Whatever you are doing right now, can you just stop?

Oya say "Thank You Lord", because if you are reading this, he has been faithful as ever.

Now i'm going to want you to do some evaluations and remind you of some truths :)

Btw? How are you? Hope you are good?
How is life after NYSC? Hehe fun shey? Sup with Unilag? I'm sure Gods going to do the best for you.

Have you met K? Did you get to use a camera? How did you feel? Hope learning hasn't been difficult? Or maybe you've not started sha abi? Have you?

How is the future treating everybody around you?

Is there a new guy? I sooooooooo doubt it, knowing you.

How did series of scars come along?

Hope you have been thinking about money for make-up classes? 

I trust you are staying happy, I trust you are trying to hang out with people right? Please don't tell me u backed out?

I know you are saying you would be going to the gym please get off your a** and go work out!

How has your Spiritual life been? Do you feel his presence now? Are you reading the bible? Going to church? Have you joined the choir like we said? Oya!! Go and join! :p

You need to drag your a** to the beach, I know how much you want to go, oya organize something with your sisters or D, he promised a shoot right? *dancing*

Please hang out more ooo!! Be happy, stay inspired.

Your nappy hair nko? Dreads? ​​​*Lol*

And T? Hope you have stopped thinking about him so much? Have you heard from him lately?                                                                                                      Hope you are healing fine? Does it still hurt?

*sigh*

So, girl!! I Love You!!

Don't forget to remind yourself that; Life ain't about you, love others. Grow in love. Every opportunity is an avenue to grow. Life is a trust. Life is a test. Let it go. minus negative people. Be hopeful. Be optimistic. Be realistic.

Be slow to speak, quick to listen and slow to get angry!

Forgive seventy times seven times.

Everyday strive to be a better person. Have a positive attitude to everything. LOVE till it hurts and don't stop!!

God is ALWAYS with you and please don't forget in the dark all he told you in the light.

Muaaahhh!! Muaaaahhh! No one can love you as much as I do, well maybe except God :D

Me, in the past. 

This is my Reply:

Dear Me(In the past),

Just when i think you've run out of tricks to surprise me, i get this email. Wow! Just Wow!! You just never seize to amaze me at the way your head spins right? do you?

What goes through your head when you decide to write things like these that still makes sense a year later?

I Love you, really. I underestimated you, I am sorry.

I can remember watching you write this in that office at kontagora, clueless, broken, in pain - yet - you even sound so excited about the future. I am grateful to God for that time.

Now, You asked so much questions i don't even know where to start. Lets start with the most important.

How is my spiritual life? I know, then, my spirituality was a part of my life. Now, i am my spirituality. God isn't just a part of my life anymore but he is ALL of my life. Somewhere in between this one year, a process of total surrender has/is taken/taking place and that has put God in his place in my life. Its not just saying anymore, its doing. Best decision ever. #ProudJesusGirl

Aha! The Choir. I joined - finally - I know x_x. I also had to leave, because I kinda changed my church. God is in the process of putting me where he wants me to serve in this new church, there is no rush.

Life after NYSC. Fun? You have no idea. All the "responsible" you felt in Niger, this is nothing compared to it. Lagos "responsible" be like say he get another meaning *Phew* and its so expensive, to think that God is getting rid of the Ijebu in me *tears* I can't be cheap again. 

Yes, Life is fun at the same time gets challenging but i always wake up knowing I have a big God and everything is Himpossible. See that? Himpossible. My new vocabulary. I Love it.

Yeah. Yeah. You didn't have to rub it in, So what? I don't have a new man - but I have Jesus - Yes, if getting to know Jesus more is the price i have to pay and not be in a relationship right now? Its worth it biko. Heey! don't get me wrong oh, i'm still awesome as ever and the applications are piling but when you are not ready, you are just not ready.

One big head boy *Side eyes Sope* said to me "You know in the long run Jesus will not cuddle you and kiss you"  *RME*

Leave me jor, i know oh. Don't rush the potter na, let him finish the molding in his time abi? :p

You asked if i've held a camera? hmm.. even better, I sleep in one - See why I said I underestimated you? How all of this happened within the year, only God has the explanation, only him gets the glory. After NYSC, I cleaned out my savings and paid for photography training and a couple of months ago, i got a D7000. I limited you and the God in you, I know better now. Yes, taking pictures feels soooooo good, I can't explain my love for it. Its amazing, to say the least.

Days i was using my friends camera. :)

I did go to the beach, after all this time. Thanks to Wale for making it happen and I had maximum fun.

You asked about T? Let me be honest with you as you have been with me. God sent me to show some love to his daughter recently and everyone thought I was "such a good friend" but when God says go? you go. good friend or not. Half way on the trip, it hit me that there was a possibility of seeing T, but God reminded me "This is not about you, but Love for my daughter" and that brought a peace and calm to my spirit, soul and amazingly my body and when i heard her say "People really Love me" that was the confirmation of Gods word for me. I was ecstatic. Okay, back to T.  
I did see him and I cannot tell you what that did to me, reminding myself of why I was there was the peace I felt inside and after I told A, she said I was really calm about it. Praise the Lord.

I can't say i've stopped thinking about him, and i cannot say i have not healed - over healing is worrying me sef - I got the balm of Gilead *pops collar* Also, Remember Jesus knew exactly where the colt was(location wise) i also KNOW that God knows where i am at and he is the almighty and my father, so i rest in my knowledge of his knowledge(makes sense?) I should stop talking here.

Did you say gym? I ended up loving gym time, I got my trimmed tummy and much more sef, and everybody is beginning to think I have some kinda disease that is sapping all the fat, imagine? I went and got the body that i wanted biko.

Someone asked my sister recently "How is your sister, the fat one" iLaff, when I was chubbier - they talked. I lost weight now, plenty talk. I am enjoying the fact that my tummy is trimmed and I don't worry about how it looks in dresses anymore. I don't go to the gym again now, but I try to stay healthy - when I eat x_x 

My neck is not this long again tho' x_x

I really cannot but say "Thank you" to God for taking us through that difficult part of our life, looking back i couldn't have done it without him. People laugh when i say God is the strength of my life, they don't understand why i will forever take him seriously. I live for this reference point. We really couldn't have done it without God. I will brag on him till i draw my last breath.

Thank you for the courage to pick up where you left off. Thank you for the strength to face the day even when you cried your eyes out the previous night. Thank you for the positivity of the word you let pierce through your very essence and negativity. Thank you, for without you there will be no me.

I am not where i want to be, I am glad i was where i was, pressing forward to where God wants me to be. He promised to lead me by the hand and take me there. I am patiently waiting.

Yours in the process,

Present You.

This is why i won't stop writing at-least in my journal to always have a reference point, Sope reminded me of this verse when i forwarded the mail to him. 

Habakkuk 2:2-3

2 Then the Lord answered me and said:

“Write the vision
And make it plain on tablets,
That he may run who reads it.
3 For the vision is yet for an appointed time;
But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie.
Though it tarries, wait for it;
Because it will surely come,
It will not tarry.

This is one of the times i just want to scream. Like my mind is blown away. At the appointed time, the vision will speak and i will bring my tables(journal entries) with dates for you to see. 

Have you come to an end of yourself? Have you come to a point where nothing else seems to be working out and you've tried all you could? Click to meet GRACE

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