His Perspective: Why do men cheat?

Earlier today, having a discussion with a good friend, she asked me: “Jay, why do men cheat?”. Out of the blue like that. Wow. Why indeed? This is the question we all seem to want an answer to, so that maybe, just maybe, we can find a solution and our men can keep their eyes inside, and not look to play outside matches.

I was prepared to answer this question, because earlier this week, I had another conversation with a good friend, (oh well, life’s all about conversations isn’t it?), and in her wisdom she told me: “We are all capable of every kind of thing, every good, every bad, no one is exempt. We are all a broken version of the original, the intent of the heart of man is desperately wicked, who can know it”…Indeed, who can?

And then tonight, I’m trying to study the Word, and I open to Proverbs 27:20, I’ll quote the Amplified version so you get a better idea of where my thoughts are leading: “ Sheol (the place of the dead) and Abaddon (the place of destruction) are never satisfied; SO (THE LUST OF) THE EYES OF MAN IS NEVER SATISFIED.” Ha! Yes you cheating son of a gun, you are likened to the Hell and Death! But hold on, just a minute. We all are. All of us.

Now, that verse seems like I’m absolving all men who cheat and will cheat of their sin, moreover the bible has already said their lust can’t be satisfied, right? Right??! It is a tempting thought trust me, but, well, not quite. You see, as going to hell and being dead (in a spiritual manner) is a form of choice and decision, so is the third party, the lust of the eyes of man, a choice and decision. You choose to lust or allow yourself lust over money, drink and women. You choose to forget that you have a beautiful, God-fearing and inspiring wife at home, and decide deep in your heart to run after “ayonge” that can give you 50 Shades of pleasure, YOU CHOOSE! Starting from your thoughts, you choose to allow them go and wander in dangerous territory, and then the seed is sown…the actions will automatically follow.

Ehen, and before we put all the cheating blame on men, lemmi stop you right there: Women cheat. Full stop. I’m not blaming anyone, but a lust for a fruit outside what God said was okay to eat is what put us in this position in the first place. So ALL of us can cheat, forget the societal stereotype that Men are the greatest cheats.

I have fallen prey to these lusts myself. And at the end of the day, I feel horrible, looking back, it was never a worthy choice. Never. I had something better, so why wasn’t it enough?? Because I choose to have a lust…and like all lusts, it can never be satisfied.

So, man or woman, here are my thoughts:

1. First things first, Biko flee from that lust, because if you don’t, it will NEVER be satisfied.

2. Philippians 4:8,  “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honorable, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” Think on that beautiful wife, think on the damage it may cause, think about your soul, think, think, think!

As I write to you, I’m thinking of this lovely woman who has caught my heart, who has forgiven me in spite of my mistakes, and I’m praying to God to take away my lust and for it to never resurface, because I want to do right by Him and by her also. I will think of her whenever this temptation wants to arise. Because I CHOOSE to think of her and place her over the lust.

3. Lastly, Romans 12:2 “…but be ye transformed by the renewal of our mind” Renew your mind daily through the Word.

I haven’t had peace all week, but finally my heart knows rest.

Yours,

Mo.

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He is a God of process

Sitting at the extreme right on the first row of the bus, was a lady with 3 kids as the 4th passenger on where was clearly supposed to sit just 3 people. The youngest child started crying as the bus was too hot, the continuous cry filled the almost silent bus.

"Give the baby what she wants or she won't stop crying" a man's voice from the back rang loudly. The mother ignored while trying to pat the baby on the back to shut her up but this baby wasn't having any of that, she cried even louder.

The male voice from behind said the same thing again but this time another woman echoed his thoughts in agreement, The mother then did the needful and the baby of course kept quiet.

As if to rub it in the mother's face "You see, she is now quiet. They don't want to know where you are, what they want is what they want that's how babies are" said the voice from behind

That struck a chord in me.

We are babies when we start this walk with God.
New world...
No knowledge...
Need guidance
Need growth...

In a way babies are 'spoilt' and as they grow parents start instilling the required discipline in them 'Kneel down to greet your elders' 
'No! you can't have biscuit at 11:00pm... You shouldn't even be awake at this time c'mon go to bed' and this is just earthly parents out of the Love that they have for them, put their children in check as they grow older.

How much more our heavenly father? When we are babies in Christ and we 'fuss'/'cry' going all give-me-give-me on GOD most of the time we get, but as our understanding grows by beholding him in a mirror we would be expected to start displaying it in our maturity in Christ.

Growth in Christ is a conscious decision that the individual makes, it says as we behold (2 cor 3:18)... It then means it's our responsibility to look in the direction and the comforting part is that no one is expecting us to be 6 months old babies today and 5 years old tomorrow...

Even God acknowledges process... We will be transformed from glory to glory. The question is are we looking in HIS direction?

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Reality Or Realitrick?

lights
Camera
*click*
errmm... 

Shall we do this right please? 

lights
dslr camera
*click*


*Post picture on social media* #IwokeUpLikeThis #OOTD #YouCantsitWithUs #WCWForever abbl 

I think you are beginning to get my drift yeah? We would all agree that the world of social media is here to stay and it's use is growing at an alarming rate. Our generation is of the instant gratification and the pseudo-reality called the social network. I am of the opinion that social media is a powerful tool depending on how it is being used, although right now I think its causing more harm than good but I am not here to address that today.

I am going to pick on one that has since been bothering me for a while now and hopefully it is also bothering some other people out there (You know so I won't be alone).

It's the fact that people portray a pseudo-reality that is Instagram perfect, Pinterest worthy, Blogosphere acceptable and no one really cares about Facebook these days -___- As much as I have met really really amazing people online, I have also seen that most of their perfect lives do not even match up to their realities and this is not an exaggeration.

I know people naturally want to put their best foot forward, by doing that we try to come across as living the perfect, happy and all-fulfilling life when in reality perhaps things are not as rosy as they seem. It's rather unfortunate that the 'consumer' is somewhere in his/her real life day dreaming and comparing his/her self till he/she falls into some form of depression thinking he/she is 'missing' out on life

"Why am I not like this girl?''
"Gosh! her life is so perfect"
"She has it all together"
"OMG! Holiday in Dubai, me no holiday *rme*"

I know this is a real problem because I have been a victim and I've had people also testify to this. There is no guarantee that the next person will be real tomorrow or honest about their live but we owe it to ourselves to not let all of that rub off on us. 

I know it can be hard but we can also decide to not jump on the band wagon with the world but use social media in the positive light, no one is saying air your dirty linen, but we can encourage, network, build personal and business relationships and still be authentic as against painting a reality that is not, at the end of the day our motives matter alot. I think we should examine our motives before we post that tweet or post that picture or reply that comment to understand why we are doing what we are doing. Someone might say 'It's not that serious' but I know we can all agree that social media is no more child's play as we see people's life being transformed(for better or worse) through this platforms. Why not be part of the ones contributing to the better-community? 

And for some of us that are still swayed by the things we see/hear on social media - and this is not just about 'worldly' things - there are plenty so called motivational speakers, e-pastors etc that have principles that are not based on God's word but just look like it is and the Lord has warned us to beware of them and we 'blindly' taking in all forms of doctrines (1John 4:1). I encourage us;

• to be rooted and grounded in God's word so we are not easily swayed by anything and everything that we see on social media, 
• to guard our hearts with all diligence.
• to Surround your digital community with people that will build you up and not tear you down (Mentally, Spiritually, physically etc) not just anybody, You don't owe anyone an explanation if all they talk about doesn't suit you.
•  And if all else fails. log out, and immerse yourself in what will build you up till you learn to be guarded. Trust me, the world will not end and you will be better for it. 

I pray the Lord will help us to be positive influences with use of social media and to also be on the positive receiving end. 

What are your thoughts on the effects of social media? 

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#KidneyTrustFund Your 1000 can save a life

OJB Jezreel was once diagnosed of a kidney failure; a health condition that 1 in every 7 Nigerians is a victim of. Almost every one has a family member or friend or knows someone who is suffering from kidney disease. Using social media, Nigerians rose to the occasion via donations and he was given a second chance at life.

As a way of giving back to society, The OJB foundation is working in collaboration with The Bow Tie Club has launched The Kidney Trust Fund with support from FCMB Plc, Paga, AIICO insurance, Fotolight house, CSL trustees and Vikram Hospital, India to help more Nigerians in the same condition he once was get a second chance at life.

All you have to do is
1. Share this message
2. Follow The Kidney Trust Fund on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.
3. Visit www.kidneytrustfund.org and make a donation of N1000.

Donations can be made via the website, paga or direct payments to
CSL TRUSTEES LIMITED/ OJB Foundation
0678691109
FCMB

Your N1000 could save a life!

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More truth about tithe @kennykore

Start here for some perspective...

Do you know that Abraham did not tithe his own riches?
He tithed 10% out of the spoils of war to Melchizedek.

Do you know that Abraham returned 90% of this spoils of war to the king of Sodom, after tithing 10% to Melchizedek the king of Salem?

Do you also know that Abraham didn't think those spoils of war belonged to him?
Because he told the king of Sodom, "... I will accept NOTHING BELONGING TO YOU, not even a thread or the strap of a sandal, so that you will never be able to say, 'I made Abram rich.'

Abraham thought those spoils belonged to the king of Sodom.

Do you know that Abraham was never commanded by GOD to give to the king of Salem, Melchizedek? (It was by choice).

Do you know that Abraham did not become rich after tithing to Melchizedek?
He was already a wealthy man, with slaves etc

Do you know that Abraham didn't tithe to Melchizedek again after that one and only time?

Do you know that if Christians today are tithing according to Abraham, they wouldn't tithe only 10%, they would tithe 100%?

Do you know the Apostles never taught tithe; they taught GIVING willingly or cheerfully.

Giving out of a response to NEED.

Giving out of love?

Giving out of faith?

Do you know that the ways the Apostles raised money in the pioneering church was well documented in the book of Acts... ?
And it wasn't tithe.

Do you know that the Apostles never payed tithe and never collected tithes ?
To pay tithe would mean a return to the Law; to receive tithe would mean you're a Levite?

Do you know the Bible doesn't support the modern believe that it's not our business what our 'MOG's' do?

"Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves.-Matt. 7:15.

Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, BUT TEST THE SPIRITS to see whether they are from GOD, because many false prophets have gone out into the world.

Do you know that Paul called out erring brethren by name, publicly?

Do you know that according to 1 Peter 2:9 WE ARE ALL PRIESTS?

"But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's special possession, that you may declare the praises of HIM who called you out of darkness into HIS wonderful light.

Do you know that the churches priesthood is not in the order of Levi?

WE ARE NOT SPIRITUAL LEVITES

Jesus our High Priest is the Lion of the tribe of Judah, we are all priest according to His order.

Do we take GOD seriously when HE (GOD) said HE no longer dwells in Temples made with bricks and stones, that HE dwells in our human bodies?

Is our body the Temple of the Living GOD, or was Paul joking when he said GOD now lives inside of us?

So if the store house is the Temple of GOD, could the store house be human bodies, since that's where GOD dwells now, if GOD is to be taken seriously that is?

Jesus in Matt.25:40 "Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine (Temples of GOD), you did for Me.'

Jesus replied, “believe Me, a time is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem. 22 You Samaritans worship what you do not know; we worship what we do know, for salvation is from the Jews. 23 Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the FATHER in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the FATHER seeks. 24 GOD is SPIRIT, and HIS worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.”

Are those cathedrals, event halls, hotel venues etc bricks and stones Spirit and truth?

No, True worshippers worship (anywhere. Matt.18:20). The key thing is HOW, (in Spirit and Truth).

The venue of church is you.

AND WE ARE NOT FREE FROM GIVING, WE ARE FREE IN GIVING.

‪#‎what‬ you should know
READ YOUR BIBLE, MEDITATE, PRAY, AND OBEY GOD...Kuorire

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Are you robbing God? or Yourself?

Hello People,

I have followed Kenny kore on facebook for a good part of this year and listened to him a couple of times as well, he posts short messages almost everyday and I regularly share them but this time I kinda want it to have more reach because of this particular message. Its just amazing because its in-line with what I have been learning in Church over the last week. I have broken down the messages into 4 parts which will run over this week. 

Open your heart to learn and study the Word. God bless you!! 

*******************************************************************************

I was not even a teenager when I heard a testimony about how a brother got a miracle gift of a tear rubber car because of his faithfulness to GOD.

I promised myself, and GOD that I would do the same thing, for the same result.

After several years of making that commitment, I still haven't gotten a car I didn't pay for, rather GOD had me give out my first, hard earned, second hand car.

‪How‬ did I get from serving GOD because I wanted a car, to the point where I served GOD by giving a car?

Romans 5:5,"And hope maketh not ashamed; because the LOVE OF GOD IS SHED ABROAD IN OUR HEARTS by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us."

I didn't give out my car out of abundance of money or because I had several cars;

I didn't give the car because I was pestered, cajoled, manipulated, or bullied to;

I gave the car because I felt compelled by the Holy Spirit to.

It was tough to obey, but I did, and I know that even the ability to obey is a gift from GOD, so I have nothing to boast of.

That car was my 'widows mite'.

Luke 21:1-4,"And He looked up and saw the rich putting their gifts into the treasury, and He saw also a certain poor widow putting in two mites.
So He said, “Truly I say to you THAT THIS POOR WIDOW HAS PUT IN MORE THAN ALL; for all these out of their abundance have put in offerings for GOD, but she out of her poverty PUT IN ALL THE LIVELIHOOD THAT SHE HAD.”

‪So‬ somebody asked me if I pay tithe; my 10%.
I answer now by saying NO, I REFUSE TO GIVE GOD 10%, WHEN GOD GAVE ME HIS 100%.

I have given my life to Christ, and that includes my money. ALL OF IT!!!

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of GOD, not by works, so that no one can boast.-Ephesians 2:8-9.

IF WE ARE SAVED BY PAYING TITHES, I CAN ASSURE YOU THAT YOU'LL NEED MORE THAN 10%.

IF PAYING 10% OF OUR INCOME COULD GET US INTO A SAVING COVENANT WITH GOD, JESUS WOULD NOT HAVE TO SHED A DROP OF BLOOD FOR HUMANITY.

A more penetrating study of the Old Testa­ment laws would reveal that NO CHURCH TODAY IS REALLY TITHING in the stoic sense of the word.

The book of Malachai was originally written to Jews and Levites who practiced three (3) types of tithing.

Hence when GOD said in Malachai 3:8,"Will a mere mortal rob GOD? Yet you rob me. "But you ask, 'How are we robbing YOU?' "In TITHES AND OFFERINGS.

Please note the PLURALITY of those words; Tithes and offerings.

The 3 types of tithes:
1. The tithe for the Levites.-Num. 18: 21, 24.

2. The tithe for the feasts/festival.-Deut.14:22-27.

3. The tithe for the poor.-Deut. 14:28, 29.

‪If‬ we practice one out of three tithes, have we stopped robbing GOD??? (sela).

‪‎Why‬ is the tithe for the Levites a MUST and the tithe for the poor is no longer MANDATORY in the same order???

*Proverbs 19:17," If you help the poor, you are lending to the LORD--and HE will repay you!

*Matthew 25:40," "The King will reply, 'Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for Me.'

The danger of playing 'selective' with the Laws of GOD couldn't be stated clearer than in James 2:10;

" FOR WHOEVER KEEPS THE WHOLE LAW AND YET STUMBLES AT JUST ONE POINT IS GUILTY OF BREAKING ALL OF IT."

‪Wrong‬ belief is unbelief
READ YOUR BIBLE, MEDITATE, PRAY, AND OBEY GOD...Kuorire

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I found a secret that saves

I saw the book in a corner as I was set to leave home after a long wedding weekend. It wasn't the green cover or petit-ness of the book that made me pick up or the fact that it was the same Author that wrote 'Prayer of Jabez' another book that rocked my world... I don't believe in coindicences and it is obvious that God did want me to read it at this particular point in time. 

And I am sooooo grateful for that. 

I started the book immediately in the car on my way back to my base and Initially I was just facinated at the retell of 

John 15 when Jesus was talking about the vine and us as the branches. Oh! the name of the book is 'Secrets of the vine' by Bruce Wilkinson its the second part to 'Prayer of Jabez' 

It's a book I recommend for anyone and it basically has every season of your christian walk. Everyone wondering why? Everyone in a dark place, you'd definitely find yourself in one of the categories of branches that was mentioned. 

The one that mostly stood out for me was 'Abiding' the state of Abiding in God. The frustration of having a stale walk with God and the dissatisfaction that also comes with it. The writer had a similar experience and the truth dawned on him

''God didn't want me to do more for him. He wanted me to be more with him" 

and this was my defining moment, we do so much for God that we forget to be more with him. I am forgetting to be more with him and this was a great reminder to turn things around and not lose sight of what is important. 

In that moment, there was hope and I know that this is the way out of this rut, going back to being with him as against running around for him. 

I also encourage you to look through and if you're going through something similar just remember that God loves you and more than ever HE wants to fellowship with you. He is bidding you 'come' 

Abide in Jesus...

If you find the book, please do get it or just look for it!!! It's worth every bit of it. 

Abide in Jesus...

John 15 1-5 “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2 He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes[a] so that it will be even more fruitful. 3 You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. 4 Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing

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¨Its spiritual doesn’t make it less painful'' Introducing: My God & I

Hello people,

I have been working with African Naturalistas for a while and running an Interview column called mane matters and i've watched how its been helpful and encouraging other people on their natural hair journey. I then decided to replicate it here for our walk with God after all that's what's most important. I have a couple of responses already that I will post over the next weeks and hopefully you are encouraged to share yours.

Here is my story; 

I was born into a Christian home and for as long as I remember I have always gone to church. Children’s church, teenagers then adult church… gone through all the Sunday school classes till I became a member of the church and that was it. I remember thinking to myself ¨So, What next?¨

Routines.

Instructions.

you-must-do-this-rules.

I mean, I didn’t want to go to hell. It’s a horrible place to go to. God, religion and Sunday was a part of my life, nothing more. I didn’t even understand it and looking backI wonder how/why alot of things flew over my head.

Reading the Bible? Struggle.

It was boring and I always fell asleep or just forgot.

Praying? Great chore. Morning devotion was enough.

Then 2012 happened.

I must say this, there is a God-sized hole in every heart whether we fail to admit or not. Its there.

I was in Niger state, lonely, depressed (I wrote somethings on here at the time) and after having suicidal thoughts I knew that was the height.

I started reading the book purpose driven life and followed it for the 40days which propelled me into Gods waiting arms

He had been waiting for me.

I also bought a Bible and my journey started. It was a real radical change, I knew I was broken and only God could fix/heal me with all my sins, my bad attitude, emotional baggage, unforgiveness etc. I took major steps with the help of the holy spirit and walked through those times.

I cried.

I cried alot.

I cried so much.

He specialises in unearthing the deep ugliness inside of you not to show you how ugly you are but to let you see how much beauty HE can bring out of that ugliness.

And boy! The Lord did unearth. I don’t know how long you've been reading my blog but I’m sure you will notice through every hard lesson the Lord has passed me through.

Change? Growth? Painful. Just because its spiritual doesn’t make it less painful.

Who says walking with the Lord is easy? But it is worth it. 

Its been over 2 years since I accepted Christ life and started to find my foot in HIS by following in the steps he left behind.

Do I still fall asleep when I read the Bible? Sometimes

Do I still struggle with prayer? Yes

Do I get shy when I want to share my faith with someone?  Yes

But just like a child learning to walk, every time I fall (short) HE is there to support me and help me up.

¨Remain in Me, and I in you. Just as a branch is unable to produce fruit by itself unless it remains on the vine, so neither can you unless you remain in Me¨ John 15:5

 I am not perfect but abiding in Christ, I am walking to perfection. I understand that living the life of Christ in this world that is anti-Christ is not going to be easy but as long as I abide in him, I will be fine. Always.

Are you willing to share about your walk with the Lord? Shoot me an email tomi.akibo@gmail.com

Have you come to an end of yourself? Have you come to a point where nothing else seems to be working out and you've tried all you could? Click to meet GRACE

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BIG on the little details

The irony right. HE is unconventional like that.

Exodus 25-30

¨You must build this Tabernacle and its furnishings exactly according to the pattern I will show you¨ Ex 25:9

I was reading exodus and boy was I tripped, I’ve heard pastor talk about the verse a number of times but was just I was just reading it myself. It was amazing.

For 5 chapters (each with 20-40+ verses) God gave instructions in height, cubit, colour, candle wax, wood type, cloth material EVERYTHING about the temple. Nothing was left to ‘chance’ or ‘Man’s intelligence’

Looking back at noah and the ark ¨This is how you are to build it… ¨ Gen 6:15 God gave him detailed instructions.

What this says to me is this, God is big on details, he doesn’t leave anything to chance and HE sure doesn’t do half measures.

God is BIG on the details of the world.

God is BIG on the details of his church.

God is BIG on the details of your Life.

He was involved in the times of Moses, He is involved today. He is the same yesterday, today and forever (Hebrews 13:8)

1 Peter 2:5 (NIV)

¨you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house[a] to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ¨

God is BIG on the ‘house’ that he’s building and he has given us a pattern… Jesus.

More than giving us the pattern, he showed us how to live and more than showing us, He documented for us (Bible)

Let us endevour to…

Live like him (Gal 2:20)

Love like him

Be his repesentatives on the earth.

God has gone all out for us; Jesus and HE doesn’t do half measures, Its time for us to get with the program.

We can’t keep claiming to be believers yet our lives signify otherwise.

¨The Holy Spirit is the Spirit of right standing/right doing. Any right standing with GOD that doesn't culminate into right Doing is false¨ - Kenny Kore

As believers, we should BE HIM, LIVE HIM! (Gal 2:20)

Have you come to an end of yourself? Have you come to a point where nothing else seems to be working out and you've tried all you could? Click to meet GRACE

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Opinion: Is it lack of faith to not put all your eggs in one basket?

Based on the common saying ¨I cannot put my eggs in one basket¨ Sope hit me with a question ¨Is not putting your eggs in one basket wisdom or an act of not enough faith?¨

In order for me to understand he gave me examples.
1. Is it an act of foolishness to take drugs or is it lack of faith?
2. Is it wisdom after praying about wanting to do masters to also start applying for Jobs?

Wisdom or Lack of faith?

Having said that, there are babes in Christ and there are matured Christians and that will tell in your approach to things. When someone is still a babe and coming into a deeper knowledge of God and his ways - but is not exactly there yet.

I think its totally fine when people do things without faith and the word even warns us not to judge such people. Even Jesus repeated ¨Your faith has made you whole¨

We are under the new covenant and there are no rules set in stone for us.

You might say the same Bible say to have faith and not of works and it also says faith without works is dead.

In the new covenant God deal with us uniquely and gives us instructions tailored to our lives. When he speaks to us as his children and gives us instructions to follow and that is the work our faith works. It is birth out of obedience to the word/instructions of God.

As opposed to just applying for school and looking for different Jobs, because thats the next logical steps in the world that we live in, God instructs you to apply for just school, now you are confident because God said you should. The wisdom is in obedience'to his instructions.

Also, If someone is diagnosed with cancer and as opposed to going to the hospital which is the logical thing to do, God instructs the person to make dietary changes and doing that in confidence because God instructed.

Another may try to do what you did and it wont work for them, thats why we must each have a personal relationship with God because he is not a one-size-fits all God, he is a one-size-fits-YOU - as much as your capacity is.

When all your eggs are in one basket and given to God, its wisdom for you to listen to him where you should put your individual eggs and you will be rest assured that it will be safe there.

In my opinion, We just need to listen more.

What say you? I appreciate your comments.

Have you come to an end of yourself? Have you come to a point where nothing else seems to be working out and you've tried all you could? Click to meet GRACE

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256: Cumi

My name is Deborah.
It was my first time. I only needed this time to throw into the ocean what had been an abomination to me previously. Just this one time.

I got caught... 

17, I met and started to experience these specie of human beings. The unsatisfied, the greedy, the perv Specie of the homo sapiens or like my sister will call them "Dirty Old men". I got the occasional winks. "Let me drop you by your house" and all that was fine until it became within close proximity.

18, I started an Internship. First day of work, met with my line manager, supervisor and overall Manager of the Department. It all started with little campaigns as entrusting me with the key to his office, commenting on my innocent look, asking to be his typist in my spare time leading to me earning his Trust - Maybe a little too much, so much that he left a pornographic clip playing in one of his 'Come and stay in my office while I go out' routines and said "Whatever you see there should not leave this Office"

I was wise enough to run before he demanded I do what I saw in the video clip...

I got dragged to the Master...

19, I started my 2nd Internship uncermoniously. On a faithful day, walking into his office to report some work done, He 'pinned' me to the wall in his office. Trying to convince me to kiss him, he placed his hand on his member trying to show me his hard-on.
"Look what you've caused" He said.
I managed to free myself from the 'pin down' without kissing him. Few days later, 2 cute boys and a woman with a protruding belly walked into the office, they were his family but he hadn't been wearing a ring.

"I noticed your countenance dropped when you saw my boys, you didn't do anything. You shouldn't feel bad" was what he said to me when he called me later in the evening.

I was disgusted.

I fell to my knees...

20, Messages going back and forth. I like him, He likes me. He also has a family.

We are not having an affair, we just acknowledge and a couple of flirtatious text messages and calls doesn't do anybody any harm. It was only a matter of time before we took the 'passion' out of the text messages and into reality. It felt good, good enough for me to meet up a 2nd time and a 3rd...

4:00pm Friday, 24th August, 2001

Deb: Hey You.
P: I was just thinking about you
Deb: really? What about?
P: I miss your lips
Deb: hmmm... 
P: Available tomorrow?
Deb: Yes, Time?
P: 6pm. Rm 256. Same place.
Deb: See you Then.
P: :) 
. . .

bang! bang!! 
On the door.
"Are you expecting anyone?" I asked as I stood up to open the door. Once I unbolted the door it flung open and shouts filled the atmosphere.

'Husband snatcher' 
'Useless girl' 
'They' dragged me to this mysterious looking man

I fell to my knees...

I fell to my knees in his presence drowning in the guilt and thought of what will befall me in a minute or 2, he turned his back to 'them' that dragged me down to him after saying something to them that I didn't hear and gradually the shouts died down and you could hear them leave, one after the other. I trembled and still couldn't lift up my head.

I flinched when he tapped me.
"Where are they that accuse you? Has no one condemned you?"

Still confused at what just happened or who this man is "No" I replied

"Neither do I, Go and Sin no more"

I stood up and glanced with curiosity at what he scribbled on the sand

"256"
I looked up at him again and he smiled and said

"I know all"

***Cumi is based on a true life story using John 8:1-11 as a backbone***
What stood out for you?

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I don't have an appropriate title (2013 Review)

Hello Everyone,

I know this is probably stale but I had to tell of Gods goodness towards me in the course of 2013, by the end of the post you will probably know why I couldn't put it up before now. Here is how my year went and what I hope to do in the new year.

*                                                                          *                                                                    *

Lying on the bathroom floor tugging at my chest like a lion tearing apart its prey. As if to physically remove the pain I felt.
"Why?" I asked
In my mind, I was asking God, but I had also come to a place where I felt he wasn't listening anymore. The emptiness was eating me up. The clutching pain won't let me go. My lips won't part to say word to anyone about my inside.
This was always at night, most nights. I will smile in the morning after touching up my face with some powder or Just simply say
"Its the sleep that made it swollen" to anyone that noticed my eyes.

It was Dec 2012 and I just had a very rough end of the year, enough was enough, I didn't want to go into 2013 with the "depression"
For the first time in my whole life, I decided to sit at home - against my mother's wish ofcourse - for the crossover into 2013, This was going to be the last day of crying with so much pain on the inside.

Pain from being clueless.
Pain from a hurting heart.
Pain from a restless soul.
Pain from a restless heart.
Pain from an empty heart.
Pain from being Jobless.
Pain from shattered hopes and dreams.
Just Pain.

I sat and "talked" with God, cried my system out, tried to pull the hurt - once again. Then I slept into the new year.

You can guess, the year didn't start on a very high note for me, I had gotten rejected for my masters application and I wasn't even motivated to brush up my CV not to talk of applying for Jobs.
The constant nagging of my parents about me not going for Interviews

"Or you are not applying?"
"Or you don't want to work?"
"Which one do you want to do?"
I will just mumble a reply and let it rest.

I started going to my mother's Shop and I just got introduced to Andrew Wommack(Thanks Mandy). Everyday, I would drive to 'work' (Mother left her car for me on most days) and soak in the sermons, every Wednesday, I would go for morning prayer meeting which was attended mostly by the older women in the church, my tiny self, with just one or two men (Really? Are women more prayerful?)

I did all of these diligently, week in, week out.
I had a dream on the 17th of Jan, one that shook me to my very core and at the same time made me happy.
*Cuts out insignificant part*
I was on my way home and I saw 2 demon-like creatures that stood in my way, I called the name of Jesus to rebuke them and guess what? They laughed in my face "You this small girl calling a name you know nothing about" I got scared and ran back.

I didn't see a light or a bright white person but I just knew God came on the scene, this is how I put it in my journal

"God showed up among them and his voice was so calm, soothing and with so much authority like he was giving a command in the nicest voice. Not shouting and all.

Like saying "She called and I answered" maybe not in those exact words and the demons scattered into pieces of flesh"

I later wrote "Don't shout, Help is on the way"

I got a Job in March and between the time I had the dream and when I got the Job, I went for 3 interviews in those 3 weeks. My mum missed me in her shop and I miss going for Prayer meeting. 

"And it shall come to pass, that whosoever shall call on the name of the LORD shall be delivered: for in mount Zion and in Jerusalem shall be deliverance, as the LORD hath said, and in the remnant whom the LORD shall call" ~ Joel 2:32

Before now, I was the only one in my house that didn't have a passport not to talk of travelling by air. In the first 3 months of working all of that changed.

In my plan, I had "Move out" as a 2014 goal, but I got an apartment by the end of August 2013. I Live in a semi-empty, small place, nothing fancy by the worlds standard, but I Love it regardless. 

I "planned" to start saving for my Camera in 2013 and get it by the end of the year, I got one by the middle of the year. I have no idea how all of these happened, It was just evident that God tore my "plans for 2013" sheet off and handed me a new one.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

I think I attended like 4-5 different churches this year and finally settled in one, attended 4 gospel musical concerts (yay) Loved every bit of it. I Loved God and will continue to Love God.

This my small blog got to 50,000 hits this last year and the number of people that God blessed through my crappy writings was just really humbling, I started Daily Exhortations and there were some days I didn't have Bible Verses to share from not studying the Word the previous night or week and I wanted to just quit, but people just tell me in those times (talk about perfect timing) How the daily exhortations has blessed them in ways I can't understand. So, I kept on, I keep on - Daily, bringing Gods word to you one verse at a time! 

God is faithful, I tell you.

I cried so much in the year, cut my hair in one of the low points too, I had days of not knowing where the transport fare for the next day is coming from, not having what to eat and God showed up at the nick of time.

Recently My mum were joking about something (Can't remember exactly)  But I remember telling her that she won't know when I don't have money and she kinda 'yimu-ed' at me, then I went on to ask her If she knew about the days I walked to and from work, she looked back at me in disbelieve till my sister confirmed it. 

In those days, God still showed up.

"What is man, that thou art mindful of him? and the son of man, that thou visitest him?" Psalm 8:4

The end of the year had us celebrating December in the Hospital, not sleeping at night, waking up to go to work from the hospital, taking turns to go sleep at home. I watched people watch their loved ones die on Christmas day, boxing day, New years day. Sigh. 

Makes you just sit back and be Thankful (I will write about this when the smoke finally clears) 

I learnt not to limit God, I learnt to praise in the storm and put on my faith-life-Jacket because the storm raged, but I am here - standing. Lets not even talk about the days I fell, face flat, took me some time to dust myself off and stand again but the word says 

"For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again..." Proverbs 24:16

I am NOT looking forward to the new year - yet because I know Gods going to do a new thing and I feel like I didn't enjoy this phase enough but one thing I will do (regardless of how I feel) is.... "forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,

I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:13-14

I don't know what this year holds and although I've written my hopes and Visions for the year and given to HIM to do with it as he pleases, Its already the end of the first week and I already feel direction-less (Typical x_x) But, I really don't care all I want to do is seek God this year and let him take over my life, I know he has the compass, won't it be foolish of me if I don't carry my cross and follow him? 

Hope Its not too  late to say Happy New year? :) 

Happy New year Lovely people!! Lets make 2014 worthwhile shall we? 

Cheers

*Raises glass*

Have you come to an end of yourself? Have you come to a point where nothing else seems to be working out and you've tried all you could? Click to meet GRACE

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