... At the foot of the Hill [Psalm 121]

Showing posts with label can we just go back?. Show all posts
Showing posts with label can we just go back?. Show all posts

Nov 4, 2014

I am tempted to quit blogging

A wise man once said to me ¨If you don't know what to write about, then write about the fact that you don't know what to write about¨  

I am taking that piece of Advice today. 


I am tempted to quit on this blog.
I am tempted to just stop writing.
I am tempted to let go and stop being deliberate.
I am tempted to 'Let life just happen'.
I am tempted to just quit.
I am tempted.

I put it out on all my social media accounts about the thought that has been in my head about this online space and the response was overwhelming. I think that it was selfish of me to just want to quit after meeting and making amazing friends via this platform.

The past few weeks have been different in the sense that I didn't take anything slow at all. Everything was fast paced, time was barely enough, life changing decisions to make or not make. Let's just say alot was happening but My God & I kept this space 'busy' for a while.

Although this is not the first time I have nursed the thought, but this is the first time I voiced it out to the public and I didn't know what to expect but the response was really encouraging...

But then one person said to me

¨If that is what you want then go for it¨ 

Which brings me to why I wanted to quit;

* I am using present tense because its an on-going process

I am looking at me; I am looking at me. Looking at what I am not doing right, looking at how my life is busy and how I can't keep up, thinking of how I need to make time to write, thinking of what I want to write. Notice the constant thing? ¨I¨

I am looking at you; Asking questions like ''Who even reads this?'' ''Is this adding value to anyone?'' ''Will anyone notice if I don't continue?'' etc

I am looking at others; ¨Oh my! see how pretty her blog is... Jeez my doesn't even cut it'' ''She's got alot to say everyday, you what are you doing?¨ ¨What? > 20 comments and counting on one... ONE post... Chai¨ These are some of the things I have said to myself.

I was doing all the looking when I should have been looking at/to HIM.

Then I was reminded today;

 But the Lord said, “My grace is all you need. Only when you are weak can everything be done completely by my power.” So I will gladly boast about my weaknesses. Then Christ’s power can stay in me. [2 Cor 12:9 ERV]

So, when I hear things like ''If that is what you want go for it¨ I interpret it as this ¨If that is what you want remember that its not about you'' 

Because 'I' will always want it. I will always want to quit. I will always want to be lazy. I will always want to be uninspired. I will always not want to make the extra effort. I will always..... (fill in the blank for other excuses we make) and if you are also being honest you also want to quit sometimes.

But.... IT'S. NOT. ABOUT. YOU.

Someone also said ¨If its just one person reading...¨ I also take comfort in that too but most importantly remember Gods strength is made perfect in your weakness.

I WAS tempted to quit on this blog.
I WAS tempted to just stop writing.
I WAS tempted to let go and stop being deliberate.
I WAS tempted to 'Let life just happen'.
I WAS tempted to just quit.
I WAS tempted.

Dec 16, 2012

29 Things you should do this year


I read about this Here on femme Lounge around July or so and i wrote it out in my note pad and i want to share the ones i did and my observations


29. Attend a funeral. It has a way of reminding us that life in finite, and tells us we should     treasure every moment we have on earth.
Checked - I attended 2 funerals this year and i visited a friend that lost her sister and grandma within one week or two weeks. You are really reminded of how short life is and you would get the urge to just do everything before its too late. My condolences go out to those that lost a loved one this year, may God comfort you. 
28. Bath under a waterfall, climb a mountain, or drive through a game reserve. Whatever you do make sure you see nature at its best, like you have never done before.
I was supposed to go to the waterfall in Niger but... but.... i was too lazy to go on that 5hrs journey, so i could not bath under a waterfall, but next year dear tomi thats your birthday present!
27. Be the answer to someone’s prayer and a solution to someone’s problem. Guide the lost stranger, feed the poor, teach the ignorant, serve a sick person breakfast in bed, and maybe give your maid a day off
I THINK i might have been the answer to a few people's prayers this year, being in the north gave me the opportunity to help a few people, wont go into details but i am very glad i was given the opportunity, i would definitely do it over again. did you help someone this year? 
26. Do you have a favorite author, designer, actor or musician? Write a fan letter to all your favorites and send it to them. Some will get it, some never will.
see where i got the idea to write Ted dekker? well now you know, i wrote and i got a reply *doing the happy dance* i want to write another one. overkill? x_x *hums oliver twist*
25. Face your Fears. If you hate crowd then by all means go to a stadium, if you are afraid of having all eyes on you then go to sing at a karaoke bar, and if you are afraid of teddy bears, go to bed with twenty! You will discover that Fear is really what it is – False Evidence Appearing Real!
My fear? talking in front of a crowd and maybe something i've not discovered yet, but then i taught a group of people with so much confidence considering that they were either older than me or looked older than me (i'm small like that -__-) i'm not done with the crowd phobia oh, but i notice the difference + i entered a pool this year! Yaaaay! 
24. Find a reason to throw a party and invite everyone you really want to be there, it could be to celebrate your birthday, or even your break up, or just because it’s another Friday! Have fun being celebrated.
i nor throw any parry oh... i dont like throwing or attending parties - even for the rice -__- i would rather have a party for one... or two *coughs*
23. Find your passion and be involved in a cause. Donate your time, money or even blood. Volunteer with organizations working in that field and help spread the word too.
Still searching................. Know any orphanage i can volunteer? get at me. Thanks :)
22. Forgive someone. Make a deliberate decision to forgive someone that had hurt you in the past, let go of your pain and bitterness, whether the person is sober or not.
I forgave myself. i forgave myself for wanting to depriving myself of this beautiful life God gave me, I forgave myself for my failures, I forgave myself for my mistakes, i forgave myself for the hurt i've cost me. admitting it wasn't easy but it was worth it. 
21. Have a junk food day! Spend a whole day eating all the junk food you love without feeling guilty.
oh! Yessss... This was fun, i shouldnt tell you, you know that already. i Love burgers any type well except its from KFC *rme*, i love taking myself out, i'm not expensive at all, one burger and a bottle of water and the girl is good. what would you eat if you had a junk food day?
20. Keep a gratitude journal. Don’t be carried away by your never ending to do lists. Take time out to count your blessings and be grateful to life for every progress you make
I've kept a gratitude Journal actively since the 8th of August, i just list all that i'm grateful for, for the day. It just helps reflect on the day and count your blessings and you definitely be reminded of how the little things count.
19. Learn not to say yes when you what you want to say is really no. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
I TRIED to do this, but some people you just cant hurt them, for example how would you tell someone that calls you alot that his calls disturb you? knowing that he just calls to check on you. you feel me?
18. Learn something new. Salsa dance, how to make apple pie or even how to speak Spanish. Add a new knowledge to yourself and meet other people who share the same interest.
I picked up Spanish. I'm still learning sha, dont let me scatter ground here with my naija-polished Spanish *pops collar*
17. Love yourself, Love others too. Don’t hold back all you can give and be to yourself and to others. Love without fear.
This struck me so deep and i took it as a challenge, its hard but its possible and i'm learning and i constantly caution myself when my mind want to start saying "not loving" people, especially random people on the street. 
16. Listen to elderly people’s story of what life was like when they were younger; let them tell you about their regrets and victories, and what they would do differently if they have a new shot at life.
I sat next to my pastor's wife on my way to one of the burials i attended and within the short period we talked i had learnt alot from her regrets and things she said she could have done differently and ofcourse right now i would be stupid to make that type of mistake. 
I made friends with older people alot more this year, its not that i dont  have people in my age group but i just feel good around people that can talk to me honestly, without judgement and with plenty maturity.
i think older people are closer to the grave so they don't have time for nonsense, so no idle talk, when its work, its work, when its play, its play.
15. Make a collection of everything you love in a scrap book. Insert picture of your favorite actress, your favorite chocolate wrapper, a ribbon from your old sexy lingerie and even your favorite bible passage.
I did this too, it was fun cutting up old newspaper, magazines and pictures. Speaking of which, i should update the scrap book. i recommend it for any girly girl that has plenty time and needs personal in-expensive fun!
14. Make a list of all those who have touched your live positively and you will be really surprised how long the list could be. Send them a mail, a text or postcards to appreciate them.
I've done the first part of this, but why have i not gotten to sending the mails? x_x
13. Make friends with children, learn to communicate with them and understand what makes them tick. Experience what life is like in their world of possibilities.
This one was funny and hard work mhen! i asked myself again "Do you want children?" your ears would almost wear out from stories, this 10 year old girl i met recently is a talkative chai, she can talk for africe, we spent 1-2hrs together that day and she had told me about home, friends from the neighbourhood, friends from school and their silly fights. i smiled through it all, i was genuinely interested and i just wanted to got back to being a kid when all i worried about was why mummy wont let me go out to play *sigh* growing up sucks, to think that i've not even "grown" up *hot tears*
me: What do you want to be in future
random small boy: I want to be a footballer
me: why?
random small boy: Because they have plenty money and i want to drive big big cars
me: o_o 

12. Make new friends and stay in touch with old ones. Get connected with a childhood friend that you haven’t seen in a long time and visit her.
I tired my best, connected, re-connected and dis-connected from some childhood friends this year, it was nice while it lasted - again :)
11. Plant a flower or vegetable, in a garden, at your backyard or in a jar. Nurse it and watch how it changes from a seedling to a full grown plant.
Plant gini? who get time? (sorry Tobi, im not insulting your garden) Next!!
10. Put on your best clothes, have a makeup done on you and have a photo shoot. You know how you admire models in magazines and try out different poses in front of a mirror? Now go do it without inhibitions, express yourself before a camera.
I wanted to mix this abit, dress up, make-up go to a bar a meet random people, but who get liver? You? Try it for both of us. :)
9. Reflect on your greatest weakness, and your greatest strength and how they can make you a better person.
Hard but one of the best things to do, i didnt even bother with the strengths much because thinking about them may make my head over swell, so i reflected on my weakness without being hard on myself to see how i can make me a better person and i do like evaluation and make mental notes of where i'm falling short. Hard work - i know, but its worth it!
8. Re-visit your favorite childhood books, movies and music. What really made you tick when you were younger?
where are we, the yankees? that you wee be having fav childhood books or movies or music? is it just me? *Looks around* NOOOOOO... I cant possibly be the only one naa! did you have any favorite childhood anything? 
I remember now, i had one fav Tyre rim, yes RIM *rme* that i always rolled around and pet sef *smh* x_x it was a long time ago naa, dont judge a sisteh, yes the razzness started from back then. #RazzandProud dont loud it!
7. Send a message to an unknown person. Write something, put it in a bottle, close it and throw it in the ocean, hoping someone, someday will get it.
Bottle ko, bottle ni *rme*
6.Sleep under the stars. When was the last time you look at the sky and marvel at the beauty? Spend a night looking at the stars and sleep off while admiring the sky.
Sleep under the sky in nigeria? better have more than one can of baygon. I marveled at the beauty of the stars and moon every night in kontagora, that place just had a way of bringing it all to your attention. Its really beautiful but biko i cannot sleep, forgive me!
5. So what if you get lost? You will find you way again! Throw the map out and go on a drive in an area near you that you don’t know well, explore the area and figure out how it’s all connected till you find your way again.
And get kidnapped? Nahh........ I'd pass!
4. Spend a day at the beach with your loved ones. Run, swim, eat, laugh and build an elaborate sand castle.
I'm still waiting for the day this one will happen x_x
3. Spice up your sexual life. Take a break from the old routines. Try out new and daring things in your sexual life.
*Coughs* #TeamAbstain here. Thanks!
2. Take a vacation from the world. Switch off your phones, log off the internet, and spend time alone with yourself doing the things you love.
I'm so looking forward to this, i guess its more recommended to people with a busy and crazy life, and i know my life would get busy and crazy soon, then i wee now take a well deserved break, but now i have not earned any vacation.
1. Talk to God. You might not fully understand the role He plays in your life, or what He really expects from you, maybe it’s time to unravel the mystery, talk to Him and listen to Him.
Saving the best for last :D The best decision i made this year was to talk to God more, i mean talk not pray, prayer is different, i adopted the "Dear God"  style and i write them down when i can or just talk like God is sitting next to me, well technically he is :) Its fun and there is a peace that washes over you after and "offloading" it all on him! feels good!

This is really long, hope i didnt bore you out before the end, what are the things you did this year that was memorable tell me, i'm interested! Thanks.
P.S: I'm editting my next vblog. :D Soon soon.
P.P.S: My sister now blogs, Check her out Here Its a gardening blog, i'm sure you'ld like it. Thanks

Jun 24, 2012

A Thousand Tears

A Tear for everytime I hear my name.
A Tear for when I don't.
A Tear for everytime I see your face.
A Tear for everytime I don't.
A Tear for Love.
A Tear for Love Lost.
A Tear for every Win.
A Tear for every Mistake.
A Tear for every Memory Gained.
A Tear for every Memory lost.
A Tear for Success.
A Tear for Failure
A Tear for being heard.
A Tear for being misunderstood.
A Tear for every Laugh.
A Tear for every Cry.
A Tear for Tomorrow.
A Tear for Yesterday.
A Tear for every Joy.
A Tear for every Pain.
Either ways I have a 1000 Tears.


This is Dedicated to people like me, who only know how to express Joy, Anger, Pain etc. with Tears.

Happy Sunday!

Jan 24, 2012

Battle Within




Everyday is a battle,
Yeah, i Fight alone;
fight my indecisions,
fight my fears,
fight my habits,
Now i ask 'what are we fighting for?'
or rather what am i fighting for?

Its all complex. I am complex.
Everyday i think
why do i feel so lonely, when am not truely alone?
why is everyone i love so close, yet so far?
why do people act all caring and honestly don't give a hoot?

why do things feel so close to your reach but you cant rech it?
why do i have letters and words in my head but hard to write it out?
why are the sponteneous days gone?

what am i really fighting for?
fighting for my freedom,
freedom from this battle,
Freedom from me!


May 22, 2011

Silent Wish 3

As she heard the old school 'Here comes the bride' she knew deep in her heart that this was the best decision she has ever made in her 25years of existence, she slipped her slender hands into her fathers, then looked into his eyes before they took the step down the aisle, steps to her future.


He was just a 3rd year student studying chemical engineering at the university of Ibadan, a good looking guy from a wealthy home, He has heard 'love at first sight' countless time and never believed it until that faithful Thursday at the library...
'Can I help you?' she looked up to say, all he could stare at were those beautiful brown eyes that screamed innocence...
Now 5 years later I'm here staring at this same eyes only its filled with something different; love for me, then he heard the pastor for the first time 'do you ola take simi to be your lawfully wedded bride blah blah blah' with the largest grin he said 'I do'

He knew he had to say something before she thought he was crazy 'Is this seat taken?' stupid stupid stupid! Was that your best? He scolded himself, 'No' was all she said and kept reading. Concentrating on the books he had initially come to read became the most difficult task ever 'Talk to her? No, what if you don't see her again, talk jor' then he decided and just enjoyed the sitting beside the beautiful girl.

The 'I do' he heard pulled him out of his thought 'hmmm... We've really come this far wow!,' the rest of the ceremony went by in a flash, he just wanted to go home and start his life with his new bride.


She sat there trying so hard to concentrate on the book 'He is so fine hmm... How can I concentrate with this fine boy beside me' this went on in her head till he stood up to leave, Just then she arrives, 'Madame you ready to go?', 'did you see him leave?' She asked her best friend 'who?' 'Ola that fine boy in part 3, he sat beside me and I could tell he wanted to talk but you know with all the whole fine boy forming and all' Well that's your problem just pack your books abeg hunger haff wire ma head!


She couldn't help but smile at the first day she 'met' him, now here she was in his arms on their first night together as married couples, the first night, the first day of the rest of their lives. He slowly pulled back the night gown to reveal her smooth caramel skin, gently kissing her shoulders he pulled the night gown to reveal the rest of her perfectly shaped body, he pulled her close and his lips met hers and his hands caressed her ample bosom.

The clock read 11:00pm then she stood up to check the room, she moved closer looking into the cot, sleeping peacefully was the first fruit of her marriage with this man, then the tears escaped, Why is he not home yet? There are no board meetings Fridays abi? What have I done to deserve this now? Does he not know I need help with this baby? I really need to get back to work maybe I won't notice all his late nights or not? Just then the sound of the door pulled her out of herself 'interrogating session', sweetheart! Welcome, what happened? - Traffic! He said in a very cold manner, how is the baby? Sleeping she replied, can you get me something to eat while I check on her?


He sat up in bed partly covered with the duvet, turned to her; the stranger, she mumbled something but his mind was everywhere but there 'when did it get to this? So I was cold yesterday I know, but why is she suffering in silence? Why can't she say something? Maybe then I would let this guilt go and confess or not? What she doesn't know won't hurt right? But I'm not a good actor neither am i sure she has an idea already but why is she not talking?' something that sounded like a shout brought him back to reality 'are you here at all? I've been asking you a question for the past 10mins haba! are you going home tonight?' defensively he answered 'please don't start, what night have I not gone home? Don't ask me such anymore' with that he stood up dressed up and left the room without saying anything else.


"Can't you see the writing on the wall? Or you have just chosen to deny it? He has started keeping late nights, he doesn't even talk to you, the loving part of your marriage is gone, and one good thing is he helps out with the baby. But seriously simi don't you see it? He is cheating on you". All what her friend said to her earlier in the day kept replaying in her head, with tears rolling down her cheeks she asked herself 'but why??'


Another night, a familiar stranger, he lay down beside her contemplating if waking her up was good idea, No! She decides to suffer in silence, then good for her, I won't up and confess; no way! For her not to notice, it probably means she doesn't care anymore right? So why should I? With all that thought he slept off.


''I really need to talk to you'' she said, when I get back from work, I'm late. ''nowadays you are always late even your home coming, so today should not be an exception, so can we talk?'' He nodded aii
I just wanted to ask what's wrong with us, what have I done to deserve all the treatment you are giving me? Recently you've been coming home late from work, I noticed the drinking too and you don't even talk to me not to even talk of touching me, what happened? Or are you seeing someone else?
He sat there his face in his hands, when he heard her speak with the hurt in her voice he knew, I guess it is time to let it all be over with that he said......


So i've been writing this story since forever (by forever i mean like 3weeks) not because i dnt have what to write but i could not just get to understand d idea behind cheating and obviously i still don't, so i decided i would ask, instead of just keeping my story in draft.....

So if you are reading this, use the comment box and give your reasonS... Why you think people cheat in relationships. Thanks :)


~L~u~k~i~n~a~

Mar 28, 2011

Silent Wish...II


To do? or not to do? Innie minnie mannie mo, father has a donkey 'This is ridiculous!' she thought either ways its gonna happen. With the wind caressing her long black hair, the horrible experience plays back in her head.




It was a very beautiful Saturday morning, the sun rays lit up the room, all she had to was get off the bed but, it was seeming more difficult than she had anticipated the previous night. She had written in her journal before she fell asleep with her cloth on..

12th April 2006   

Today was the best in like forever. I finally got the chance to audition for that role i've been wanting to play, thanks to this audition I finally get a chance to leave this house hmmm.... so I cant wait till its morning altho' the audition starts at noon, I know dz excitement would not make me sleep well....

Ifeoluwa!! Ifeoluwa!!! you don't want to be late for your audition do you?? common get up!!

Waking up with the pen in her hands upon looking at the wall clock which read 9.00am all she could do was laugh at herself, knowing she had little time to get her act together, she got off the bed and went into the bathroom to take a quick shower.

'Gladly mummy supports me, I cant imagine if she had followed that old man hmm...  but seriously whats with this man and the entertainment industry? I don't get it! He has just decided not to bulge' this thought stream through her head while taking a shower.

She get out and started thinking of the appropriate cloth to wear, after trying like 5 different outfits she got tired and opted for a black top, a Jean with a black plimsolls with pink lace, looked In the mirror 'ok! This is it, I think I look nice enough to wow the judges ba? Too bad the mirror can't talk back' she looked at the time and it was 10am already and she still had to present her act to her mum before she leaves.

Mummy! She called out as soon as she got downstairs, i'm ready, won't u have breakfast? Errrmm I don't think so, I don't wanna throw up all cos i'm nervous, don't worry u would be fine her mum told her so get your butt there and show me whatchu got, she could not but laugh at an old school mum trying to 'feel among'

Don't you think the driver should drop you? Her mum cried as she was racing out the door, mum for the umpteenth time I'm a big girl i can take care of myself i'ld take the bus thank you, bye mama, Soon she was out the door, on the bus all she could think of was her mothers applause after showing her the act and hoping that she was applauding her because the act was good not because she was doing her duty to make her feel good.

Then she saw the sign, pulled the 'bus-stop string' in the brt bus, she was getting closer to the venue and her heart was racing faster, she would need to walk down the street to before she gets there - crap!

Mentally going over her performance she hardly heard the 'hey sister' as she passed a group of boys that gathered under a tree drinking and smoking, she kept walking till she felt the presence of someone behind her, looking back, she picked up her pace, tryin to run then she felt the huge, rugged and heavy hands on her shoulder 'Who is chasing you?' stammering and trying to get her words out 'errmmm... I-i-i wasnt running i'm just late for and audition, that starts in...' looking down at her watch '10mins plss can i go?' Now like 2 of the guyz from under the tree had walked up to them. Looking around the street was empty, now she got more scared....

'did you not ear me call you?' said one of the guyz that approached them 'i-i d-didn't ear my name' then he walked closer to her whispering in her ears 'you look sexy' feeling all shaky she said 'thank you sir please can i go now? I have a audition in 5mins' they all looked at her then back at themselves and burst out in the most sacarstic laughter she had ever heard 'why am i here today? Why did i take this route? Why did i not jump at mummy's let-the-driver-drop-you offer?' all this thought raced through her head all at a time....

'You can go' was all she heard and her she gave a sigh of relieve which did not last for long, as soon as she turned her back to leave, she felt the hand again, only this time it wasnt on her shoulder but on her mouth trying to keep her from shouting, she kicked and tried to loose herself off his grip but it was futile, then the big bang on the side of her head and she blacked out.

As her bare back hit the rough hard surface she opened her eyes, she looked above to see the preyin' eyes of 3 huge, rough looking men that was when it clicked 'where the heck are my cloth and where am i?' looking around all she knew was this was an uncompleted building that was it, so she decided to voice her thought and all she got was a slap that made her bleed 'shhhuuussshhh cooperate with us by keeping quiet and we would not give you any of that' now with tears and thought of what is about to befall her she started begging and the minute she opend her mouth, it was followed by another slap, she closed her eyes with agony and pain as the first guy mounted on her and forced his way in, all she could do was beg God to take her out of this misery and she passed out - Again.

She opened her eyes to an empty room, At first all she thought of was 'Geez ma audition!' but as she moved and felt sour it all came back, the guyz, the slap, the.... It was better not thinking about it, but how was this not going to haunt her for the rest of her life? She stood up and picked her cloths that were scattered off the ground and she knew right there that it was going to be that difficult to pick the pieces of her life back, because every step she took was more painful than the last.

Sitting on the ground hugging her legs with tears in her eyses, re-living the ordeal to her mum was the most difficult thing she had ever done in her entire life.

Her mum was filled with regrets if only i had insisted that she took the driver this wouldnt have happened to my baby girl she thought but she also knew better not to play the 'why did u not listen to me game' now was not the time, her baby needed her and that was exactly where she would be, right beside her. She tried so hard not to think of what her father would say and even considered not telling him at all, because he could be insensitive and start the 'i told you so story which frankly i'm not ready for' she thought i guess i'ld just let it be for a week before i tell him.. All this thought were going through as she sat there with her daughter in her arms and tears rolling down their cheeks.

What is she thinking? Does she now see me as unclean like i feel? Would she tell daddy? How would i get out of this? Would this scar ever leave? Can i get pregnant? Oh no no no no!!!! Then my child would be a bastard? No no no God please No.. As she stayed quietly in the comfort of her mums embrace her mind was everywhere but there.

As her mum stood up from the bed thinking she had slept off, she still found it hard to fall aslip as the event of the day just kept replayin' in her head. Then she got up from her bed went into the bathroom and took a bottle of pills and also a knief....

To do or not to do? Innie minnie mannie mo, father has a donkey 'this is ridiculous!' she thought either ways its gonna happen. With the wind caressing her long black hair, the horrible experience plays back in her head then she decides i cant continue like this lemmie pick the less painful one..
She then picks up her pen and writes:

Dear mum and dad,
I'm really sorry i have to leave you in this manner but i don't think i can leave with this scar for the rest of my life, i'm almost going out of my mind just re-living the horrible experience in my head and its been less than 24hrs, i don't tink i wanna got thru this for the rest of my life. Thank you for always being there for me. I love you both.

Then she opens the bottle and takes an overdose of the sleeping pills,then goes to sleep quietly.


Ifeoluwa! Ifeoluwa!! You don't want to be late for your audition do you? Common get up!!
With the pen in her hand she opens her eyes reluctantly, Her mum walked in and the first thing that came out of her mouth was 'Mum please let the driver drop me'

P.S: This is the second of the Silent wish series here is a link to the first one i wrote.

Enjoy!!!!!

Mar 20, 2011

Dear RedRobot

Dear RedRobot,

I seriously don't see any need for pleasantries, since you lack manners.
Okay, okay, okay! Lemmie put down all my shakara, because there is absolutly nothing i can do about you.
These are some of my concerns about you.

Don't you know its rude to show up unannounced, therefore, i seriously need a MAJOR announcement wen you are about to make my life misrable for a span of 3days.

Its enough that you show up unannounced you really dont have to torture me also, please, just come and go silently abeg.

You are the only, i mean ONLY one that makes me feel uncomfy for 3 days in a roll then what? With all of these then i have to worry when you don't come? Please go easy on me naa...

Yours still in service,
DramaQueen.

All these said was life not easier when we were younger?? Can't we just go back?

This is just the symbol i have in my head right now, alot of things in my life now come in form of questions more than answers *phew* don't i wanna go back to where ma folks did all the thinking for me?

Questions that have been streaming through ma head dz past week.....
- When would i finish my project?
- Why can't i be normal for once?
- Do i really have to think alot?
- What occassion would i wear ma new shoe to?
- Why is ma hair soo oily?
- Why can't i stay off twitter?
- Why am i turning 21? Why not 18?
- Why can't i stop caring?
- Why can't i forgive some people?
- Why is it so hard for him to move on?
- Why don't i like dat particular pol. Sci. Girl?
- Why does alcohol leave you wanting more?
- Where did my Adventrous 'monster' go?
- Would a second ear piercing look good on me?
- Am i really a DramaQueEn?
- Why did ribadu Eff up d debate?
- Why did d'banj and Goodluck do d nodding game?
- Why did goodLuck not show up for d debate?
- Why am i here?

So this week i'm going on a quest to answer my questions..

One more Question..

What crazy Questions have been goinG through your miNd lately???

Jan 19, 2011

Sign or be signed - OUT!!!!!!!?

Do you SOLEMNLY agree to get expelled???

Normally i know you get YES/NO options to questions like this but here you only have one.......

Regular sunday evening service, if WE (my roommates and i) don't go to church, we lock the door behind, but its like the devil was really against us this particular sunday because we all slept off then we hear in the most authoRitative voice.....

''If you are in the hostel and you like yourself better find a way out''

My head rang four times before i knew what i was doin' i had pick up almost 5 clothings to wear cos i began to wonder 'chai this man would kill me after payin school fees for 4 years they wld now suspend me in final year' that was when i remembered God that i refused to go and worship, really did i even expect him to answer me? But he did.....

Luckily for me (us) our punishment was only a piece of paper buh mhen it brought a lot of weight nd i quote




'' This statement of solemn agreement is hereby signed this 17th day of january 2011 by me ..................................to undertake and comply with the following expectations to ensure my spiritual heath and guarantee my continual stay in this faith based university
1. To be in the church at 8.45 and 4.45 pm for morning and evening service on sundays respectively
2. To pray for at least 20mins after the end of every service
3. To bring my bible to service and ACTIVELY participate in congregational singing
4. Not to wear jeans skirt or trousers to church and that my dress as a lady would cover my chest and extend below my knee, and as a man my trousers would be on my waist and not below.
5. I would not make noise or converse with anyone sitting next to me in church.
I understand that i would be EXPELLED without any further warning from the university if i disobey under any circumstances, any of the five rules above''

really, shouldnt i be given an option to sign this or not?? I don't think its fair cos you are more or less signin' your expulsion letter but who cares? When they say sign you sign or be signed - OUT...

Now i have learnt, i dnt even see myself stabbin' church service till i graduate instead na to Dey go church 1hr before service time oh...

Oct 22, 2010

day 17: Someone from my Childhood

Warning: This is probably gonna be the driest post ever cos where i am right now i did not get internet connection to use my phone to update all morning......


Honestly i don't have anything to write because today was not exactly a good day for me *too long story* you dont wanna know trust me... anyways i'm just updating nnow because i don't want to fail in my challenge, so am gonna highlight what i've bin doin lately/ what i've bin goin through

1. Trip to Ife...Trust me i needed it...
2. Got a new ASST. Boyfriend *don't ask*....i like him (if u r ma friend and u r intrested in knwin ask me...lol)
3. IT report.. its harder than au it sounds trust moi
4. Thinking hard about taking my writing seriously...It sounds like a really good idea, i've spoken to a couple   of pple
5. I saw a couple of old friends....gosh that felt so good..if i saw u this week..mmuuaaahhhh
6. I saw my 'FRIEND....It was so good to see you after wat seemed like forever..
7. Right now am chatting wif ma nu asst. bf and am feeling all mushy...bite me!
8. I Love myself and YOU
9. truthfully i dont actually have anything else to write....

Remember i warned you it waas gonna be boring so please don't blame me, lets Blame PMS today.....

Oct 21, 2010

Day 16: someone in Not in my state or Country/ Are promises really made to be broken???

So in my quest of makin this challenge intersting to read am changin todays topic....
Really why now? I ask myself but on a second thought why not! Let us just deal with this and move on with our lives as better and changed people don't you think?
Am so sure everybody at one point or another has had a promise broken..well like i always do i speak for myself.
I've had everyone in my life make a promise to me at some point and still break it on my head..ouchh!
Really why do people break promises, well i think its just bcos they dont know the defination of the word promise so am gonna help you, the dictionary meaning of promise is:
''-a sign of future success
-to say or give one's word
-to say or give one's assurance that one will or will not do something.''
When you say things like
'i will call you, i'll call you tomorrow, i'ld clean the mess up, i will always make you happy, i will always love you, i will love you for the rest of my life'
Well NEWS FLASH those are not just mere words they are PROMISES and they are not made to be broken...
what are the effects of breaking promises??
The one and most important effect is you the breaker would not be trustworthy and the breakee would be unhappy and would find it hard to trust people
I won't act all innocent like am not guilty of breaking promises i am! In short everyone is guilty, and am putting this as a reminder to remind myself that i have to remember not to break promises anymore because its improtant we all know the significance of the things that come out of our mouth and if that promise has mistakenly slipped out please endevour to follow it through and if you know you can't 'DONT SAY THE WORD'

Oct 15, 2010

Day 10: Someone i don't talk to as much as i'ld like to...

So meet my friend-turned-not friends anymore..but for the records i still consider him ma friend, even if he does not know....so here is our little story...We met randomly on facebook yeah facebook! (there r actually good people there contrary to ur tinkin) we got talking and we found common grounds and really it was one of the best friendships i've ever had! Yeah its now 'had' cos we drifted apart as fast as we became close...lemmi blame distance well its nt a human being so it can talke d blame without complain....anyways i know the possibilities of us making up is second to none but i just want it to be in records that i appreciated the friendship while it lasted....Now there is no one 'flash' again and noone to yab me for flashin....i won't lie i miss our friendship...
He raps and he is a poet so check out his blog www.orefakorede.blogspot.com

Sep 27, 2010

i walked 'the' walk (litrally) 23 sept


So today is a very memorable day well after this thunderous rain that fell in ojota, ketu, ikorodu and probably everywhere else,

So i had to go to computer village after work to get a memory card, getting the mem card was not the problem everythin dt happened afterwards was d problem...1st of all gettin a bus to ojota from ikeja was like getting an admission into unilag...do i v a choice i'ld wait till ma turn, i finally gt admission nd d rubbish transporter takes us thru this traffic infested route then after he notices his mistake he starts screaming 'i go fu*# up y i con pass this road'...really the remedy to their(nigerian bus drivers) predicament is under mount everest mshewww

Before i even got to ojota dz rain started oo in full force i just knew dt itz either i pay 500 to ikorodu or am so sleeping under the rain unfortunaty there was no even bus to even start lookin for who to pay the 500 bucks to, so now am under the rain and drippin even with ma useless umbrella...this is one of the times i wished i had a boyfriend to comfort me...so instead of moppin, wishin for a bf and watchin d agbero boyz fightin under d rain, i decide to walk to ketu cuz i knew standing there was useless...

This is d 2nd time i wld walk to ketu d first was jst out of curiousity bt today's was a necessity and even worse i had to do it without ma sandals..but funni enuf for some reason it was fun walking the streets of lasgidi barefooted..nw dts nt easy to come by..so i v stories of 'when i walked the streets of lagos' to tell ma children yeah! finally i gt to ketu unharmed and unbruise but drippin like no man's biz i get a BRT life saver yeah indeed!!!

Bare feet on d street of lag! I am going to stop here but i got home at 11.00pm and crashed like never before with ‘Am so not going to work tomorrow’ on my mind!

Sep 16, 2010

Can we just go back?

Nigeria is almost 50 but really what do we have to show for it?


I picked up an old book in the house today and on the top right coner I saw =N= 11.80k…

Just in a flash…

We stopped using coins

Just in a flash…

Everything on the supermarket stand hyped up prices – yes am old enough to say way back when I bought =N=1 sweet and 50k (not thousand oo KOBO) worth of something…

Just in a flash…

All the transport fare went from 2 digits to 3 digits

Just in a flash…

Dollar exchange rate went from =N=4 to =N=150

Just in a flash…

Trains dissappered

Just in a flash…

Corrupt leaders appear

Just in a flash…

Educational system Flawed

Just in a flash…

Health system became rotten

Just in a flash…

Standard of living went through the roof

Just in a flash…

Everything changed and not for the better…

Just in a flash….


When would we be free???

Can’t we just go back to those times??

…now I sing cece winans – mamma’s kitchen to celebrated 50th yr independence…