DENT-ist Ordeal

Sleepin' last night was a big deal, with different horrible pictures of what the ordeal would b like + au witchy my dentist would be!

I get myself through the night, wakin' up wasnt the 'routine(d)' type, because dz day, i did not go back to sleep after devotion. I was scared to ma teeth, after hearin' ma dad's story whos was prolly born in a dental clinic, cos that place keeps callin him back mhen! He is missin' close (if not more than) 7 teeth.. Now i have the picture in my head!

I get to the hospital. Walkin in all chicky, tryin' to form vandam, like i won't cry when i see a needle. I do all the welcome-Its-Your-first-time ritual and i was lead to the dentist office.

Now lets dance...

Its a woman oh crap! Medical-Women are alwayssss wicked! Chai i haff entered it today! Dis is my first impression!
'seat let me examine your teeth' i opened up, she did her job and unceremoniously said 'i would remove the two on the left side and fill the one on the right' shit! Wait oh, you are tellin' me this news like its nothing?? I was expectin' a sober kinda thingy for cryin out loud, Its like amputation, buh yeah, rite now you are the boss! Gives me the card to get my drugs and injection, so this is d part i dreaded... 'open your skirt' Nobody told me about getting injection on ma bum naa+ au would i get an anaesthetic for ma tooth on ma bum? Now it clicked chai, am so gerrin' anoda injection in ma mouth OMG! Just the mere thought of it brings tears to my eyes.

'This would not hurt' yeah its easy for you to say since u the one GIVING!
Mhen that hurt badly, with tears rollin' down my eyes not from the injection, but from the insrtument that would be used on me, things that looked like they were brought out of a mechanical tool box... Let the fixin' begin, after a lot of shakin' and pullin' the first one comes out, Now i look at ma dad, he couldnt keep lookin' and it looks like he has tears in his eyes, am touched!.... Then the second also comes off!

Now i can't even continue re-living the moment, it feels like a nitemare! One thing i know for sure - i NEVER want to go back to a dentist, wait oh i HAVE to; on friday to get the last tooth filled - CRAP!!!

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Trip to the doc's office......phew!

Sitting at the waiting room, few minutes feels like hours, i sit 5 places away from my fate, the outcome of this 'consultation' decides my fate, my mind is anywhere but here what if.... 'No No i don't wanna think the worse!' Lemmie just be optimistic about this. It either comes out as a positive result or nothing.
I close my eyes to say a short prayer which leaves me a lil' stronger but i can't shake that voice 'So u think a short prayer would erase ur past?' i'm broken again, i tink 'maybe i do deserve whatever the result would be, i've not exaclty made my health top priority' - Now i move closer to the door that holds my fate @ the other end, the heart races at top speed. How would i explain this to the doctor shouldnt i be ashamed of my self?? Like they say 'your past always has a way of catchin up with you' i guess today is my day! So i go over the least embarrassin' 'mental speech' for the doc cos am 2 seats away OMG!! 2 seats?? Here i was tinkin' it was 5 seats, now i gotta be sure 'should i stand up and leave or should i just keep movin?' Lemmie just get this over with already jare... I move one seat closer...!

Now the moment is here, Maybe a speech is d wrong approach, lemmie just open up for him to see, am sure by then words would be of no use, lemmie just swallow my pride nd do this!

In the doc. office
With my heart racin' i find d words 'Good Morning sir'- Morning whats the problem..

Then i opened up for him to see, i Could see the disgust in his face- really for him to have that look, i knew it was even worse than i thought... Then i heard d dreaded words i did not want to hear
'You have to see a dentist'

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....In My Head!

17th Feb. '11 17:51pm

I'm Lyin' and staring at myself in the mirror, trying to write in my journal, a million and one things going through my mind...
- Skul, project stuff
- My new boyfriend
- Skul - Again!!!
- Saturday Class - where did dis one even come from? Crap!
- I need a Job - Yes a real Job
- Tryin hard not to complain
- Boredom
- Youth Service
- Tired of being the 'kitchen utensil'

*phew* my head might just burst...!

Its dawnin' on me again that am gonna be a graduate help! Am still a small girl oh! Now am asking my self 'are you ready?' honestly am not sure but all i hear is 'ready or not here i come' so i gotta brace myself for the task ahead. Now i feel violated!

Have to think of ma project and how my grades HAVE to miraculously go thru the roof before i graduate, how thats gonna happen i dont know, abeg pray for me oh!

You pray for a good man, you get one, then you are all scared, scared of wat exactly? I don't have an idea sef, buh, i guess its ok to be sometimes rite? One thing - he is the sweetest being God created. Yes oh, i am in love.

Arrgghhhh.... Skul again!!! 'let me just do this once and for all jare' this comes to my mind now i've decided to go back to skul after leavin' skul....where? God knows.

With the thought of goin' back to skul, i NEED a job or i need to do somthing that would pay me and NO! I don't need the money to buy a blackberry - Yet. I just need to ease the burden off ma parents abit. There are just three much expenses *phew* Now ma advert... I'ld work 2 jobs, do just bout any LEGAL job there is, just hook me up abeg (no kiddin')

Been home for 2 weeks (appx) and the 'tomilola' sound track is just on 'constant' repeat sometimes i just wanna put on some permanent ear plug and not dance to the tune, buh, what choice do i have since i've decided to resign the 'rebel' post?? I tot so too..! Really Good Girls are suffering #enuffSaid

Right Now i don't even know anY Longer but come to think of it what do i even know?
I'm just grateful to God that am alive and happy!

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Fw: Simply Put- Vanity

The love of money is the root of all evil 1Tim. 6:10 But in this new world/generation love for money = life.. Yeah go ahead and deny it by trying to convience yourself at the back of your mind 'i don't love money' No matter how much we try to deny it, we all have lost sight of alot of important things chasin' this paper with dead people on 'em. My sister, yesterday did not go to church cos she did not have money.. Really does it count??? She (ma mum) sat one day and thought it through carefully - what exactly do we live for?? She sat me down and analyzed it, Its not like we over-love money in that sense, its just that we have attached so much importance to 'money', we live our lives like getting money is a do or die affair, even the 'churches' of our days are also losing sight, so, i ask myself where exactly did we go wrong?? How do we fix this?? I don't have the answers to all these questions but one thing i wanna say is - we should look at our lives and see where we all have gone wrong and fix it. Ma mother would say 'Not having money would not change your name- they just won't add chief or mr.' so, lets not lose sight of the important things in life like Family, Friends, LOVE and most Importantly God! Happy Valentine's Day People....

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