... At the foot of the Hill [Psalm 121]

Oct 27, 2011

No be Wasa!

 Disclaimer: the title of this post has nothing to do with the content, don't be disappointed.

Anyways this is how i got the title tho; After all her shout of 'Shebi its just to recieve and make calls, ehen my palasa can do all that, there is nuffin i need a blackberry for' It only took a daughter travelling and seeing the need to communicate and all your hear now is 'Emi naa ping oh- NO BE WASA' (Me too I'm pinging- NO BE BEANS). So you see where i got my new slang from? I love my mother :D

Secretly, somewhere deep deep down i've been wanting to do this ''Things in my bag'' since i saw it on kitkat tales *sigh* and since the god-of-ideas-of-what-to-write have left me to my fate i decided why not? well its better late than never right?

So This is my hand bag :D

QuickConfession: This is not my regular hand bag, i just bought this bag and it needed a Lil publicity. 

Junk in my trunk ;)

LipGloss: Since secondary school my lips have had d reputation of being the anti-lip-gloss-absorb-ant (which is good) i cld use lipgloss from morning and u would see it there at night, buh you know as a girl grows older there are Upeople things that help you absorb d lipgloss. For example, i leave home for lesson with make-up on and get back in d evening without? So u see why i have to keep some in my bag?

Books: oh well Big bags gotta be filled right? *shrugs*

A/Any Novel: Bus rides get boring too boring sef, Just got Francise Rivers redeeming love (Had to read again)outta ma bag, atm i'm reading jeffrey archer's The prodigal daughter. I read the prologue and i instantly fell in love with the writer. Good Read so far :)

Journal: You really can't see how rough it is but trust me it is :( I take care if my journals more than my school bookS but recently the rain dealt with me and soaked everything too :((. So i go everywhere with it because once i caught my dad reading my youger sisters diary; yh she left it on her bed, me? Not taking chances + the ideas don't send memo's before they come hence be prepared ;)

Lil black Red book, as i call it :D This is my 2008-Till date journal, honestly its not always in my bag but its been around too long not to get publicity na :p This is by far my most intresting journal yet, it has everything and anything ranging from the Stupid sketch of my wedding gown x_x, alot of boy drama, school jargons, planning, plenrry to-do lists *Phew*, i even have a list of boys names and sme had 'd' meaning disqualified and all my entries used to have titles. Chai i used to have time sha!

Wallet: This is a simple case of not all that glitters in gold. Beautiful on d outside and *smh* on the inside. I just can't get myself to throw anything away, alot of bank deposit reciepts, TFC reciepts, useless small small papers, business cards, passports, old withdrawal booklet. oh my! Its a mini junk yard in there. Don't look!

Sunglasses: Yh its always there buh i never bring it out or wear it.

Hand cream: *Yimu* who am i fooling? When i say hotel supplies save d day, now u knw what i mean :| my skin is really really dry, so i need to have those.

And Introducing....

Small shey? Its called the extraIsh, whats it for? well lemmie tell a small story. I travelled to Ibadan some 5years ago, planning to spend a day and i ended up spending 3days no extra underwear or cloth (don't ask how i did it) x_x since then...... you really donno where d night would meet you. Nothing better than clean underwears :D. So if you see this in my bag all u pokenosers DO NOT OPEN!!!!!!!

 QuickMeUpdate: Going for service in less than 4 weeks and i'm not even scared of posting considering the fact that i did not pass backyard for it hmmmmm... i just pray it goes well sha and i have plenty stories btw Sitting at home doing absolutly nothing No Be WASA!! glad its almost over!

Sep 8, 2011

And they won me over

After months of complaining about my blogger in draft and their new layout, i decided to go with wordpress, i hear is better! I have been copying some of my post from here to there and i finally finished. So the add is www.tomilolaakibo.wordpress.com i'm not closing this one, so i can read the blogs on my list :) So holla at ya girl!

Aug 21, 2011

The Process

Lost in the worlds

Worlds of indecision and inefficiency

The vortex is pulling me in

Sucking me in

But then its all the same process

Finding or be found

Lose it all or gain some

The same process

Either way

Living an excuse of a life

You find a way to fight

The suction effect

And at that moment you have won

The battle since you've been born

That moment it's worth the victory

Then you start again

Living that excuse of a life - @edgy_girl

So what do you think? Drop your comments. Thanks

Birthday in Pictures... Fun all the way

Meet the 'Iron' parents
My sisters...yh d youngest is the tallest :(

Bukky(hair stylist), me, Teju (the make up artist) and oreofe

Birthday Girl :D

One of d fine sisters...(my guest writer)
Girlfriends from school

My Unofficial twin.. we look alike yeah?

*Lips Sealed* :D

Feeling like one celeb... In my mind o
Really sorry i can't post alot of pictures because blogger won't let me :( buh i hope with the few, you can capture what my birthday looked like. :)

InOtherNews: I would post a poem by @edgy_girl who happens to be my elder sister, she wrote and asked for my opinion and i said i would post it on here to see what you guys think. pls show some love :)

And since i've not been able to finish everything i've been writing *smh for myslf* i've decided to post entries from my 2010 journal tagged "Lost pages of THE Journal" ok the pages aint exactly lost buh hey! we can do with a lil drama right? Aint that why we here? buh seriously what do you think? do? don't do?

P.S: driving school is doing great, moved a VG beetle, and my thighs hurt after the first day from pressing down the clutch x_X and to think i just started *crying*

P.P.S: My modelling dreams would soon come alive :) have a photoshoot next saturday, i know NOTHING about these things so if you have experience plssssss drop ur tips for a first timer like me, and yeah i've asked google already, sometimes you just need people you can relate with. Thanks


Jul 26, 2011


I promised myself a Birthday post. So i turned 21 today, i've been trying to notice the physical changes in my body since the beginning of the year (Hoping i would get taller) *Big Yimu* since as we hear Its ur last chance for BIG changes :( and all i got was a bigger (Still Not so big) Bum :) asides that there aint anything so exciting jare.
I spent my day watching disney channel, cleaning, running errands and yeah i went to church.
I tried to smile all through but in all honesty this is actually MY WORST BIRTHDAY EVER, i had my best last year so i guess, u can't always have it good. *shrugs*

The highlight of my day were the calls and messages, i totally appreciate every single person that wished me a happy birthday from their heart and i honestly hope next year would be better.


Jul 18, 2011

What Next?

I decided to put my pen on a paper today, been a while i did that well except for exams sha, i think i've been suffering from writo-phobia donno why tho' but i'm here now to clean my cobwebs. I used to write to make myself feel better but nowadays i can't even get myself to write a diary entry *Smh* i honestly don't ge it. So the reason behind my no-blogging errmm.... Had to prepare for my final exams and i had issues with my project, i was going crazy and crying everytime (i'm glad its all over) and even when i finally finished all that, there is the no-good-internet hurdle to cross *phew* All that being said i'm sorry for my unannounced absence.

So i'm a graduate (Although some people stubbornly think otherwise) and i'm sitting at home waiting for that national excercise that keeps you 'busy' for one year, 2yrs ago i woulda been excited but sadly nowadays you are not even sure if the next guy is wired under his cloths, i'm super scared of posting and one mind doesnt want me to 'work' it, if the worse happens i'ld be posted to Borno state (God forbid) and i'ld be forced to bring out my very looong legs (Ask Tosin Akibo) so till then i have anti-boredom options but i've not gotten myself to get up from my bed (So much for anti-boredom) here is my list.

- Driving School (A girls gotta learn how to drive abi?)
- Weekend Class (This shouldnt even be here because my A+ class is always boring)

There you have it, i'm sure you were expecting a looonng list but its had to find LEGAL things to do, legal in the sense that when i say it my mum would not scream ''O tun ti fe lo ba okunrin'' or ''you don't do that a girl from a good home won't do such'' and my dad say with a frown on his face 'Where are you going to? What is happening there?' So till i find i'm stuck!!

So i'm turning 21 *Yippee* on the 26th of this month, my parents decided to celebrate it for me, the first since i turned 1, i was always getting the don't-worry-when-you-are-10 speech then it became 15 then 20 and i gave up! So i tried my luck this year and BAM he said ''yes, u deserve it''*windecking* i rented a hall already and its gonna be the 30th of July buh i'm not sure anymore about this. As much as i love attention, i don't like the spotlight, i'm planning the whole thing sha but secretly in one corner of my mind, i don't want again but its too late to back out i guess, so i'm just gonna keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best. :D

I'ld try my best to finish everything i've started and continue writing, Now i feel normal. Feels good to be back too.

May 22, 2011

Silent Wish 3

As she heard the old school 'Here comes the bride' she knew deep in her heart that this was the best decision she has ever made in her 25years of existence, she slipped her slender hands into her fathers, then looked into his eyes before they took the step down the aisle, steps to her future.

He was just a 3rd year student studying chemical engineering at the university of Ibadan, a good looking guy from a wealthy home, He has heard 'love at first sight' countless time and never believed it until that faithful Thursday at the library...
'Can I help you?' she looked up to say, all he could stare at were those beautiful brown eyes that screamed innocence...
Now 5 years later I'm here staring at this same eyes only its filled with something different; love for me, then he heard the pastor for the first time 'do you ola take simi to be your lawfully wedded bride blah blah blah' with the largest grin he said 'I do'

He knew he had to say something before she thought he was crazy 'Is this seat taken?' stupid stupid stupid! Was that your best? He scolded himself, 'No' was all she said and kept reading. Concentrating on the books he had initially come to read became the most difficult task ever 'Talk to her? No, what if you don't see her again, talk jor' then he decided and just enjoyed the sitting beside the beautiful girl.

The 'I do' he heard pulled him out of his thought 'hmmm... We've really come this far wow!,' the rest of the ceremony went by in a flash, he just wanted to go home and start his life with his new bride.

She sat there trying so hard to concentrate on the book 'He is so fine hmm... How can I concentrate with this fine boy beside me' this went on in her head till he stood up to leave, Just then she arrives, 'Madame you ready to go?', 'did you see him leave?' She asked her best friend 'who?' 'Ola that fine boy in part 3, he sat beside me and I could tell he wanted to talk but you know with all the whole fine boy forming and all' Well that's your problem just pack your books abeg hunger haff wire ma head!

She couldn't help but smile at the first day she 'met' him, now here she was in his arms on their first night together as married couples, the first night, the first day of the rest of their lives. He slowly pulled back the night gown to reveal her smooth caramel skin, gently kissing her shoulders he pulled the night gown to reveal the rest of her perfectly shaped body, he pulled her close and his lips met hers and his hands caressed her ample bosom.

The clock read 11:00pm then she stood up to check the room, she moved closer looking into the cot, sleeping peacefully was the first fruit of her marriage with this man, then the tears escaped, Why is he not home yet? There are no board meetings Fridays abi? What have I done to deserve this now? Does he not know I need help with this baby? I really need to get back to work maybe I won't notice all his late nights or not? Just then the sound of the door pulled her out of herself 'interrogating session', sweetheart! Welcome, what happened? - Traffic! He said in a very cold manner, how is the baby? Sleeping she replied, can you get me something to eat while I check on her?

He sat up in bed partly covered with the duvet, turned to her; the stranger, she mumbled something but his mind was everywhere but there 'when did it get to this? So I was cold yesterday I know, but why is she suffering in silence? Why can't she say something? Maybe then I would let this guilt go and confess or not? What she doesn't know won't hurt right? But I'm not a good actor neither am i sure she has an idea already but why is she not talking?' something that sounded like a shout brought him back to reality 'are you here at all? I've been asking you a question for the past 10mins haba! are you going home tonight?' defensively he answered 'please don't start, what night have I not gone home? Don't ask me such anymore' with that he stood up dressed up and left the room without saying anything else.

"Can't you see the writing on the wall? Or you have just chosen to deny it? He has started keeping late nights, he doesn't even talk to you, the loving part of your marriage is gone, and one good thing is he helps out with the baby. But seriously simi don't you see it? He is cheating on you". All what her friend said to her earlier in the day kept replaying in her head, with tears rolling down her cheeks she asked herself 'but why??'

Another night, a familiar stranger, he lay down beside her contemplating if waking her up was good idea, No! She decides to suffer in silence, then good for her, I won't up and confess; no way! For her not to notice, it probably means she doesn't care anymore right? So why should I? With all that thought he slept off.

''I really need to talk to you'' she said, when I get back from work, I'm late. ''nowadays you are always late even your home coming, so today should not be an exception, so can we talk?'' He nodded aii
I just wanted to ask what's wrong with us, what have I done to deserve all the treatment you are giving me? Recently you've been coming home late from work, I noticed the drinking too and you don't even talk to me not to even talk of touching me, what happened? Or are you seeing someone else?
He sat there his face in his hands, when he heard her speak with the hurt in her voice he knew, I guess it is time to let it all be over with that he said......

So i've been writing this story since forever (by forever i mean like 3weeks) not because i dnt have what to write but i could not just get to understand d idea behind cheating and obviously i still don't, so i decided i would ask, instead of just keeping my story in draft.....

So if you are reading this, use the comment box and give your reasonS... Why you think people cheat in relationships. Thanks :)


May 13, 2011

Letting Go..

I was played! Yes i was, i'm not ashamed because now life has taught me to always have my anti-mugu firewall ON!

In my life, i've had so called friends betray me but this one i wanna write about is the most recent ok here it goes....

She was the newest 'new girl' in class (That time my school would admit students even a week before exam x_x) and she had this don't-come-near-me-i-break-bones look, i just disliked her in the beginning cos of that but how we got close must be in some pages of the history book by now, The point it we got really close, i introduced her to my clique then we all became one big happy-'anko' (Same cloth)-wearing-family until she put a dagger at my back when i wasnt looking :(
'Be careful of the people you call your friends this girl was just talking crap about you because you passed last semester' was what another classmate told me when we resumed, It wasnt supposed to be a big deal but because it was from her and to think she was all smiling and telling me 'aww tomi i saw your result and you did very well' i was broken, from then on i got really quiet in class, i generally became suspicious of everyone around me (i still suffer from this disease) i could not get myself to forgive her (still can't)

Now at the end of four years, i just noticed that its her way of life, that kind of person that want their ''friends'' to always be behind (and do anything to make it possible) so they can feel superior, that kind of person who would always do over sabi in class and still and NEVER WILL be on a First class, that kind of person that just thinks of 'now' and never what would happen outside the four walls of the school, That kind of person that just does 'la cram la pour' for exam and still don't know jack about their course of study. So, if you are reading this and its painting your picture, No be by First class oh opps ma bad you are not even on a 1st class and remember the law of karma - what goes around would definatly come around so change, but wait even when you change be very afraid because your 'around' is coming soonest....

*Loosing the mean look* Honestly i really wanna let go, learn how to trust people again, forgive and forget but its hard any ideas???


May 1, 2011

Stylish Award

I’m so new at this blogging ish so don’t blame me for not reciprocating the awards since, i honestly just got a hang of it...now i blame my ignorance ;) i got an award like some 4weeks ago then i got another 2 weeks ago i think.

So the rules? Errmmm....

Say 7 things about yourself and thank the people/ person that gave you the award by putting a link to the persons blog and award 15 blogger ok lets dive!

So here are 7 facts about me

- I have a new love for shoes especially wedges, those creations are absolutely gorgeous
- I’m a To-do List freak, geez i don’t think i can get myself together without a list *sigh*
- I use only black pen. Blue just has a way of being in your face.
- I talk to myself alot, what can i say i’m a good listener :)
- I have Undiluted love for social networking
- Recently overcame my ‘Abstain-from-owning-a-purse’ rule, after my purse was stolen and left me identity-less.
- I hate creeping things, geez! They just creep me out!

Then My 15 awards goes to:
*drum rolls*

ChizzyK - http://www.chizy-spyware.blogspot.com/

Kitkat tales - www.pweetytales.blogspot.com

Cornershop - www.thecornershopng.blogspot.com

Gistdotcom - www.gistdotcom.blogspot.com

Eccentric9ja - www.a9jagreat.blogspot.com

Toolsman - www.toolsman.wordpress.com

Seye Blogs -

Butseriously - www.butseroiusly.blogspot.com

In the navel of the soul

Confession of a confused teenager

De-Me- stified - www.imisioluwa.blogspot.com

P.s: Its so hard to do alot of stuffs when you using mobile *phew* pardon ma 'no- link' links... But i'ld make it right AsAP!!

RandomEst thingz

I woke up today and it felt like one of those days i was working, this was not anything about me missing work its just the 'Not -enough -sleep' feeling. Just finished sunday school and am so sleepy!
Instead of sleeping, i'ld jst write some random stuffs going on in ma head. Good idea right?

I walked into the salon feeling all fly with myself and budgeted money in ma pocket told the girl 'i need to paint ma nail, i want red on ma toes and black on ma fingers' in ma head am thinking ok this shouldnt be more than 100bucks buh max 150bucks, she finished so i don't feel too familiar i ask how much is it? then the shocker '300naira' My head is not as composed as body WTH??? When did the price go up like that?? Ofcourse i could not tell her to clean it, i reluctantly pay.
I went to another salon and am hearing -N- 500 just to retouch ma hair kilode?? No be to just put relaxer wash? And u know as an adopted Ijebu girl (iBlame mumsi), i went to where i just had to pay 150. When did it all go up??

I seriously feel outta place, I suddenly got tired of everything School, project, home most especially running annoying errands like last night mumsi's phone was directly in front of popsi and i was sitting at the other end of the living room and i hear 'come and check who is calling your mum' seriously dad??? *sighs* and if i don't answer now, i might just be on ma way to MFM -Again!
I'm at this point where i just wanna take a back seat and zone out! Please wake me up in JUNE!

Recently i've been wondering 'what if i die tomorrow?' don't get me wrong oh the thought of death scares the crap outta me, buh sometimes i just wanna think about the inevitable u know? Seriously i think everyone at some point should ask themselves this question.

School resumes tomorrow and as usual i am not anywhere near ready, am scared kinda because this is the grand finale of the 'BSc Journey', I'm thinking about what to do to myself after school, i just know i need at least a 3months job, so here is me again advertising maself oh, gimmie job if you have oh! anything legal and decent sha!

Ok have come to the end of my random talk. I still don't feel better though.
Lemmie just listen to the preaching.

P.S: i got the stylish and versatile award from 2 bloggers, i think i finally got that '7 things about me' list completed, so i'ld do ma part later today :)


Apr 29, 2011

The past that haunts me

I had the memory in bits and pieces until yesterday!

We all watch Naija movies where there is a family then one be-witched relative that lives with them and attacks one of the children right? Well in this movie, i was the attacked child, what was always their reason for the attack anywayz??

I knew something happened to me when i was younger, i knew the story but not all of it. I was in the car with my dad yesterday and we talked about my short-memoryIsh, then he told me all the story.

I was about a year old, then there was a blue dress too, the one that i always looked beautiful and smart in and u know how children would be when they love a dress and always want to be in it? Well mine wasnt just LOVE there was a spiritual LoVe to it and when i wore it, i fell sick, it continued till i was hospitalized aint that what they wanted?? But the lorD won't lemmie die can i hear halleluyah?? Bottom line God saved me and the girl was exposed and i was dumber i guess!

Ok, years and years later that was when the 'dumber' theory came about, i had changed secondary schools twice, at first i changed because i repeated a class, wow! Does it not feel good to let that out *phew* this is one part of ma life i've been ashamed of, not because i did repeat but cos i'm d only one in ma family to actually repeat a class and i just remember that day clearly and the tears plus mumsi's shout (if you know ma mum, u'ld understand)

P.S: All my friends from duduyemi this is the reason why i never said why i left ma previous school.

Ok dumb theory, i went to mayflower and it seemed to ma folks that ma grades were going down the drain, ma mum said in her ever present modakeke accent 'a o ya olodo ni ile wa o (we are not 'olodos' in our family), we are going to MFM'
i thought it was a joke till my dad called me, ma dad is not the Over-Churchy type like mumsi, for him to have supported the deliverance i knew it was serious this was how the speech went: 'Tomilola, has your mum told you about the deliverance? *insert nod* do you remember what happened to you when you were little? *insert nod* (at this time i did not have the full memory) well because of that and since we don't know why you are not passing well, we think you should go and try it out, please cooperate with them *insert nod*' then i got a hug!!

Altho i did not complete ma fasting sentense but it was worth it i guess, i Aced ma waec and i've been doing well academically since then, well maybe because i was forced to believe that was my solution but who knows the end justifies ba??

I know the title was alil too dramatic well is that not why we are here???


Apr 7, 2011

We Need Zippers

Everything we read on paper or hear (quotes i mean) are just mere words till you feel it or till it talks to you.
I've been hearing 'Talk less, Sin less' even the bible says

"Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue." (Proverbs 17:28).
"When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise." (Proverbs 10:19).

Really i never had the courage to Purposely talk less, ok i'm a talkative so what? So lately i've been awfully quiet, blame it on the red robots approach + i cheated in my daily devotional (I read ahead randomly) hehehe
Saw something about talking less and it even encouraged my 'quest'

My Observation during the Silent dayS
- Obviously i talked less.
- Gossiped less too.
- Read more books honestly not my school book :|
- Did alot of future thinking/planning.
- Sinned lesseR than a normal day.
- No yabbing nobody
- Only meaningful/VERY necessary conversations would be directed to you (dz part i loved)

That being said, yesterday i snapped, smiled, laughed, talked, gossiped, yabbed, shouted, bent the truth, no reading, listened to fake + original gist...
So you might say 'Maybe you are not talking to the right people' well i'm a realist so lets not decieve ourselves ok?
I try my best to hold the 'right' conversations but one gist would sha come up and ruin that right and it is replaced with a 'wrong' (I blame the devil for this one) Then again i say to myself 'Maybe you are having the right conversations with the wrong people' hmmm.... Now that makes alot of sense!
I was quiet for just 2days i think, and its was bitter-sweet, bitter because everyone treated me like i just caught some contagious disease that is caught by laughing or talking to me, it was sweet because as much as i love talking, i love my space too, i enjoyed the fact that i was asked VERY VERY necessary questions, and i wasnt called for the regular 'room gist' altho' i love the feeling when one of my friends comes and says 'Tomi latest gist' and when i hear d headline i have that smile and say 'Stale gist and even dish out the FULL story'
But you know everyone has to retire at some point right? Or not?

I think i'm finally growing up hehehe i would start working ke? Dont let them tag me office talkative abi? Wow 21 is gonna be the best age ever(i can forsee) But seriously talking less is a good experience? Right?

We totally NEED zippers!

Whatcu think??


Mar 28, 2011

Silent Wish...II

To do? or not to do? Innie minnie mannie mo, father has a donkey 'This is ridiculous!' she thought either ways its gonna happen. With the wind caressing her long black hair, the horrible experience plays back in her head.

It was a very beautiful Saturday morning, the sun rays lit up the room, all she had to was get off the bed but, it was seeming more difficult than she had anticipated the previous night. She had written in her journal before she fell asleep with her cloth on..

12th April 2006   

Today was the best in like forever. I finally got the chance to audition for that role i've been wanting to play, thanks to this audition I finally get a chance to leave this house hmmm.... so I cant wait till its morning altho' the audition starts at noon, I know dz excitement would not make me sleep well....

Ifeoluwa!! Ifeoluwa!!! you don't want to be late for your audition do you?? common get up!!

Waking up with the pen in her hands upon looking at the wall clock which read 9.00am all she could do was laugh at herself, knowing she had little time to get her act together, she got off the bed and went into the bathroom to take a quick shower.

'Gladly mummy supports me, I cant imagine if she had followed that old man hmm...  but seriously whats with this man and the entertainment industry? I don't get it! He has just decided not to bulge' this thought stream through her head while taking a shower.

She get out and started thinking of the appropriate cloth to wear, after trying like 5 different outfits she got tired and opted for a black top, a Jean with a black plimsolls with pink lace, looked In the mirror 'ok! This is it, I think I look nice enough to wow the judges ba? Too bad the mirror can't talk back' she looked at the time and it was 10am already and she still had to present her act to her mum before she leaves.

Mummy! She called out as soon as she got downstairs, i'm ready, won't u have breakfast? Errrmm I don't think so, I don't wanna throw up all cos i'm nervous, don't worry u would be fine her mum told her so get your butt there and show me whatchu got, she could not but laugh at an old school mum trying to 'feel among'

Don't you think the driver should drop you? Her mum cried as she was racing out the door, mum for the umpteenth time I'm a big girl i can take care of myself i'ld take the bus thank you, bye mama, Soon she was out the door, on the bus all she could think of was her mothers applause after showing her the act and hoping that she was applauding her because the act was good not because she was doing her duty to make her feel good.

Then she saw the sign, pulled the 'bus-stop string' in the brt bus, she was getting closer to the venue and her heart was racing faster, she would need to walk down the street to before she gets there - crap!

Mentally going over her performance she hardly heard the 'hey sister' as she passed a group of boys that gathered under a tree drinking and smoking, she kept walking till she felt the presence of someone behind her, looking back, she picked up her pace, tryin to run then she felt the huge, rugged and heavy hands on her shoulder 'Who is chasing you?' stammering and trying to get her words out 'errmmm... I-i-i wasnt running i'm just late for and audition, that starts in...' looking down at her watch '10mins plss can i go?' Now like 2 of the guyz from under the tree had walked up to them. Looking around the street was empty, now she got more scared....

'did you not ear me call you?' said one of the guyz that approached them 'i-i d-didn't ear my name' then he walked closer to her whispering in her ears 'you look sexy' feeling all shaky she said 'thank you sir please can i go now? I have a audition in 5mins' they all looked at her then back at themselves and burst out in the most sacarstic laughter she had ever heard 'why am i here today? Why did i take this route? Why did i not jump at mummy's let-the-driver-drop-you offer?' all this thought raced through her head all at a time....

'You can go' was all she heard and her she gave a sigh of relieve which did not last for long, as soon as she turned her back to leave, she felt the hand again, only this time it wasnt on her shoulder but on her mouth trying to keep her from shouting, she kicked and tried to loose herself off his grip but it was futile, then the big bang on the side of her head and she blacked out.

As her bare back hit the rough hard surface she opened her eyes, she looked above to see the preyin' eyes of 3 huge, rough looking men that was when it clicked 'where the heck are my cloth and where am i?' looking around all she knew was this was an uncompleted building that was it, so she decided to voice her thought and all she got was a slap that made her bleed 'shhhuuussshhh cooperate with us by keeping quiet and we would not give you any of that' now with tears and thought of what is about to befall her she started begging and the minute she opend her mouth, it was followed by another slap, she closed her eyes with agony and pain as the first guy mounted on her and forced his way in, all she could do was beg God to take her out of this misery and she passed out - Again.

She opened her eyes to an empty room, At first all she thought of was 'Geez ma audition!' but as she moved and felt sour it all came back, the guyz, the slap, the.... It was better not thinking about it, but how was this not going to haunt her for the rest of her life? She stood up and picked her cloths that were scattered off the ground and she knew right there that it was going to be that difficult to pick the pieces of her life back, because every step she took was more painful than the last.

Sitting on the ground hugging her legs with tears in her eyses, re-living the ordeal to her mum was the most difficult thing she had ever done in her entire life.

Her mum was filled with regrets if only i had insisted that she took the driver this wouldnt have happened to my baby girl she thought but she also knew better not to play the 'why did u not listen to me game' now was not the time, her baby needed her and that was exactly where she would be, right beside her. She tried so hard not to think of what her father would say and even considered not telling him at all, because he could be insensitive and start the 'i told you so story which frankly i'm not ready for' she thought i guess i'ld just let it be for a week before i tell him.. All this thought were going through as she sat there with her daughter in her arms and tears rolling down their cheeks.

What is she thinking? Does she now see me as unclean like i feel? Would she tell daddy? How would i get out of this? Would this scar ever leave? Can i get pregnant? Oh no no no no!!!! Then my child would be a bastard? No no no God please No.. As she stayed quietly in the comfort of her mums embrace her mind was everywhere but there.

As her mum stood up from the bed thinking she had slept off, she still found it hard to fall aslip as the event of the day just kept replayin' in her head. Then she got up from her bed went into the bathroom and took a bottle of pills and also a knief....

To do or not to do? Innie minnie mannie mo, father has a donkey 'this is ridiculous!' she thought either ways its gonna happen. With the wind caressing her long black hair, the horrible experience plays back in her head then she decides i cant continue like this lemmie pick the less painful one..
She then picks up her pen and writes:

Dear mum and dad,
I'm really sorry i have to leave you in this manner but i don't think i can leave with this scar for the rest of my life, i'm almost going out of my mind just re-living the horrible experience in my head and its been less than 24hrs, i don't tink i wanna got thru this for the rest of my life. Thank you for always being there for me. I love you both.

Then she opens the bottle and takes an overdose of the sleeping pills,then goes to sleep quietly.

Ifeoluwa! Ifeoluwa!! You don't want to be late for your audition do you? Common get up!!
With the pen in her hand she opens her eyes reluctantly, Her mum walked in and the first thing that came out of her mouth was 'Mum please let the driver drop me'

P.S: This is the second of the Silent wish series here is a link to the first one i wrote.


Mar 20, 2011

Dear RedRobot

Dear RedRobot,

I seriously don't see any need for pleasantries, since you lack manners.
Okay, okay, okay! Lemmie put down all my shakara, because there is absolutly nothing i can do about you.
These are some of my concerns about you.

Don't you know its rude to show up unannounced, therefore, i seriously need a MAJOR announcement wen you are about to make my life misrable for a span of 3days.

Its enough that you show up unannounced you really dont have to torture me also, please, just come and go silently abeg.

You are the only, i mean ONLY one that makes me feel uncomfy for 3 days in a roll then what? With all of these then i have to worry when you don't come? Please go easy on me naa...

Yours still in service,

All these said was life not easier when we were younger?? Can't we just go back?

This is just the symbol i have in my head right now, alot of things in my life now come in form of questions more than answers *phew* don't i wanna go back to where ma folks did all the thinking for me?

Questions that have been streaming through ma head dz past week.....
- When would i finish my project?
- Why can't i be normal for once?
- Do i really have to think alot?
- What occassion would i wear ma new shoe to?
- Why is ma hair soo oily?
- Why can't i stay off twitter?
- Why am i turning 21? Why not 18?
- Why can't i stop caring?
- Why can't i forgive some people?
- Why is it so hard for him to move on?
- Why don't i like dat particular pol. Sci. Girl?
- Why does alcohol leave you wanting more?
- Where did my Adventrous 'monster' go?
- Would a second ear piercing look good on me?
- Am i really a DramaQueEn?
- Why did ribadu Eff up d debate?
- Why did d'banj and Goodluck do d nodding game?
- Why did goodLuck not show up for d debate?
- Why am i here?

So this week i'm going on a quest to answer my questions..

One more Question..

What crazy Questions have been goinG through your miNd lately???

Mar 8, 2011

Day 19: My view on gay marriage

What is gay Marriage?? This is the union between two individuals of the same sex in 'UNHOLY' matrimony...

Am gonna try not to get too spiritual here but there is no way we talk bout this and not refer to God's Commandment...

Some people say 'whats wrong with being attracted to people of the same sex' well here is your answer EVERYTHING!!!!

Lately i've had like 2 people tell me being a lesbian is cool but its gross being gay WTF abeg wats d difference??

This is absolulty wrong in all ramification Biblically, Morally, Physically gosh it even violates d law of magnetism ''unlike poles a attract and like poles repel'' am guessn this gay people did not pay attention in introductory technology class...

What make people 'turn' gay??
Yeah i said turn because am so sure God did not creat anyone gay...
i did not make any research before i wrote this bcos there should not be any justification for this ridiculous and shameful act

God commanded ''be fruitful and multiply'' and last i checked or rather anytime i would eva check guys dont impregnate guys so wats gonna happen to fruitfulness and multiplication?? If i hear u say adopt there you suppose chop slap!

I Hear some non-gay people say 'there is nufin bad about it, they are human and they are free to express their feeling' common shattap jor why can't you do it too?
One thing i want to tell anyone who knows a gay or lesbian is to do the person a HUGE favour and take the person to the nearest MOUNTAIN OF FIRE AND MIRACLES MINISTRY bcos all that person needs is some good old fashioned deliverance...

So marriage??? Thats the height of insanity...
I'm not judging the people that find themselves in this situation but i just suggest you get in touch with your soul, talk to your body, talk to a christian shrink and change your sexual orientation...enough said! I pray God helps us all...

Day 18: Someone i wish i could be

MTN has really bin dulling me!! Am sori for the zillionth time....

Well there is no one i wish i could be like because this is MY story and as the day go by i am writing my own fairy tale, i really hope people would stop re-living other people's lives and start writing theirs...Its not too late you know!

Feb 23, 2011

DENT-ist Ordeal

Sleepin' last night was a big deal, with different horrible pictures of what the ordeal would b like + au witchy my dentist would be!

I get myself through the night, wakin' up wasnt the 'routine(d)' type, because dz day, i did not go back to sleep after devotion. I was scared to ma teeth, after hearin' ma dad's story whos was prolly born in a dental clinic, cos that place keeps callin him back mhen! He is missin' close (if not more than) 7 teeth.. Now i have the picture in my head!

I get to the hospital. Walkin in all chicky, tryin' to form vandam, like i won't cry when i see a needle. I do all the welcome-Its-Your-first-time ritual and i was lead to the dentist office.

Now lets dance...

Its a woman oh crap! Medical-Women are alwayssss wicked! Chai i haff entered it today! Dis is my first impression!
'seat let me examine your teeth' i opened up, she did her job and unceremoniously said 'i would remove the two on the left side and fill the one on the right' shit! Wait oh, you are tellin' me this news like its nothing?? I was expectin' a sober kinda thingy for cryin out loud, Its like amputation, buh yeah, rite now you are the boss! Gives me the card to get my drugs and injection, so this is d part i dreaded... 'open your skirt' Nobody told me about getting injection on ma bum naa+ au would i get an anaesthetic for ma tooth on ma bum? Now it clicked chai, am so gerrin' anoda injection in ma mouth OMG! Just the mere thought of it brings tears to my eyes.

'This would not hurt' yeah its easy for you to say since u the one GIVING!
Mhen that hurt badly, with tears rollin' down my eyes not from the injection, but from the insrtument that would be used on me, things that looked like they were brought out of a mechanical tool box... Let the fixin' begin, after a lot of shakin' and pullin' the first one comes out, Now i look at ma dad, he couldnt keep lookin' and it looks like he has tears in his eyes, am touched!.... Then the second also comes off!

Now i can't even continue re-living the moment, it feels like a nitemare! One thing i know for sure - i NEVER want to go back to a dentist, wait oh i HAVE to; on friday to get the last tooth filled - CRAP!!!

Feb 22, 2011

Trip to the doc's office......phew!

Sitting at the waiting room, few minutes feels like hours, i sit 5 places away from my fate, the outcome of this 'consultation' decides my fate, my mind is anywhere but here what if.... 'No No i don't wanna think the worse!' Lemmie just be optimistic about this. It either comes out as a positive result or nothing.
I close my eyes to say a short prayer which leaves me a lil' stronger but i can't shake that voice 'So u think a short prayer would erase ur past?' i'm broken again, i tink 'maybe i do deserve whatever the result would be, i've not exaclty made my health top priority' - Now i move closer to the door that holds my fate @ the other end, the heart races at top speed. How would i explain this to the doctor shouldnt i be ashamed of my self?? Like they say 'your past always has a way of catchin up with you' i guess today is my day! So i go over the least embarrassin' 'mental speech' for the doc cos am 2 seats away OMG!! 2 seats?? Here i was tinkin' it was 5 seats, now i gotta be sure 'should i stand up and leave or should i just keep movin?' Lemmie just get this over with already jare... I move one seat closer...!

Now the moment is here, Maybe a speech is d wrong approach, lemmie just open up for him to see, am sure by then words would be of no use, lemmie just swallow my pride nd do this!

In the doc. office
With my heart racin' i find d words 'Good Morning sir'- Morning whats the problem..

Then i opened up for him to see, i Could see the disgust in his face- really for him to have that look, i knew it was even worse than i thought... Then i heard d dreaded words i did not want to hear
'You have to see a dentist'

Feb 17, 2011

....In My Head!

17th Feb. '11 17:51pm

I'm Lyin' and staring at myself in the mirror, trying to write in my journal, a million and one things going through my mind...
- Skul, project stuff
- My new boyfriend
- Skul - Again!!!
- Saturday Class - where did dis one even come from? Crap!
- I need a Job - Yes a real Job
- Tryin hard not to complain
- Boredom
- Youth Service
- Tired of being the 'kitchen utensil'

*phew* my head might just burst...!

Its dawnin' on me again that am gonna be a graduate help! Am still a small girl oh! Now am asking my self 'are you ready?' honestly am not sure but all i hear is 'ready or not here i come' so i gotta brace myself for the task ahead. Now i feel violated!

Have to think of ma project and how my grades HAVE to miraculously go thru the roof before i graduate, how thats gonna happen i dont know, abeg pray for me oh!

You pray for a good man, you get one, then you are all scared, scared of wat exactly? I don't have an idea sef, buh, i guess its ok to be sometimes rite? One thing - he is the sweetest being God created. Yes oh, i am in love.

Arrgghhhh.... Skul again!!! 'let me just do this once and for all jare' this comes to my mind now i've decided to go back to skul after leavin' skul....where? God knows.

With the thought of goin' back to skul, i NEED a job or i need to do somthing that would pay me and NO! I don't need the money to buy a blackberry - Yet. I just need to ease the burden off ma parents abit. There are just three much expenses *phew* Now ma advert... I'ld work 2 jobs, do just bout any LEGAL job there is, just hook me up abeg (no kiddin')

Been home for 2 weeks (appx) and the 'tomilola' sound track is just on 'constant' repeat sometimes i just wanna put on some permanent ear plug and not dance to the tune, buh, what choice do i have since i've decided to resign the 'rebel' post?? I tot so too..! Really Good Girls are suffering #enuffSaid

Right Now i don't even know anY Longer but come to think of it what do i even know?
I'm just grateful to God that am alive and happy!

Feb 14, 2011

Fw: Simply Put- Vanity

The love of money is the root of all evil 1Tim. 6:10

But in this new world/generation love for money = life.. Yeah go ahead and deny it by trying to convience yourself at the back of your mind 'i don't love money'

No matter how much we try to deny it, we all have lost sight of alot of important things chasin' this paper with dead people on 'em.

My sister, yesterday did not go to church cos she did not have money.. Really does it count???

She (ma mum) sat one day and thought it through carefully - what exactly do we live for??
She sat me down and analyzed it, Its not like we over-love money in that sense, its just that we have attached so much importance to 'money', we live our lives like getting money is a do or die affair, even the 'churches' of our days are also losing sight, so, i ask myself where exactly did we go wrong?? How do we fix this??

I don't have the answers to all these questions but one thing i wanna say is - we should look at our lives and see where we all have gone wrong and fix it. Ma mother would say 'Not having money would not change your name- they just won't add chief or mr.'

so, lets not lose sight of the important things in life like Family, Friends, LOVE and most Importantly God!

Happy Valentine's Day People.... 

Jan 19, 2011

Sign or be signed - OUT!!!!!!!?

Do you SOLEMNLY agree to get expelled???

Normally i know you get YES/NO options to questions like this but here you only have one.......

Regular sunday evening service, if WE (my roommates and i) don't go to church, we lock the door behind, but its like the devil was really against us this particular sunday because we all slept off then we hear in the most authoRitative voice.....

''If you are in the hostel and you like yourself better find a way out''

My head rang four times before i knew what i was doin' i had pick up almost 5 clothings to wear cos i began to wonder 'chai this man would kill me after payin school fees for 4 years they wld now suspend me in final year' that was when i remembered God that i refused to go and worship, really did i even expect him to answer me? But he did.....

Luckily for me (us) our punishment was only a piece of paper buh mhen it brought a lot of weight nd i quote

'' This statement of solemn agreement is hereby signed this 17th day of january 2011 by me ..................................to undertake and comply with the following expectations to ensure my spiritual heath and guarantee my continual stay in this faith based university
1. To be in the church at 8.45 and 4.45 pm for morning and evening service on sundays respectively
2. To pray for at least 20mins after the end of every service
3. To bring my bible to service and ACTIVELY participate in congregational singing
4. Not to wear jeans skirt or trousers to church and that my dress as a lady would cover my chest and extend below my knee, and as a man my trousers would be on my waist and not below.
5. I would not make noise or converse with anyone sitting next to me in church.
I understand that i would be EXPELLED without any further warning from the university if i disobey under any circumstances, any of the five rules above''

really, shouldnt i be given an option to sign this or not?? I don't think its fair cos you are more or less signin' your expulsion letter but who cares? When they say sign you sign or be signed - OUT...

Now i have learnt, i dnt even see myself stabbin' church service till i graduate instead na to Dey go church 1hr before service time oh...

I'm Back!!!

1.30 am

I'm lyin' here in the dark with alot on my mind... Exams are in less than 5days nd i've nt read, i don't hava an idea where to start writin' my project from, this no-light situation in school, my blog and the list goes on nd on.......

Its been a while i picked up my pen to write about anything (which is weird), even writing in my journal takes the grace of God, but gotta confess tho' i think i stopped writing in the journal because it started to feel like the journal had jinx-ed me or something..(long story)! Now i don't even know who/what to blame for that, i guess i can take the blame for a change. ;)

Its a new year and honestly i don't feel the new-ness well except the date and am graduating this year yeah!!! Yes 2010 wasn't exactly my defination of a great year but in all i'm grateful for being alive to see another year, so far the year has been Wonderful.

I'm suppose come here and drop all the drama happening in my life, well i think me being in this school is enough drama, buh where do i start from? everyday seems like a whole different story, but now am even too busy to pay attention to a lot of things, but somethings you would never be to busy to SEE is the 'skinny' craze OMG sometimes i have to bury my head in shame #enufsaid.. (i think i have to dedicate one post to ma school DRAMA)

Now i hope i get the time to keep writing, i'ld try to keep up....

Btw Happy New Year......