***Disclaimer: The title has more to do with 1samuel 30:18 than it actually has to do with this post, there are somethings i don't understand too***
Anyways, straight to what God did for me. Since God met with me in the dusty town of Kontagora (click to read the story) i have been basking in his Love, learning and craving more of him. I've become so spiritually ambitious, Me sef i know i am x_x
That aside, the first week of this month was easily the hardest i had to go through.
It started on the Monday, 1st of July. During the day i started feeling a pain on my left arm and at first i thought it was because of the air conditioning, i endured through the day hoping that it won't last long.
Fast forward to like 20:00 and i've had dinner already and i was doing my round of reading for the night, the pain came back, just on a particular spot on my arm. Soon i was feeling numb, from my legs gradually my arms and i just laid there, looking up at the ceiling and balling my eyes out.
The engulfing feeling of it being the end was all around me, I have never felt anything so strong, Imagine if you know that you won't wake up the next day? at that time i could not pray(and i still don't know why) a few minutes later as if a bulb was turned on in my head, I dragged my self to my feet(numbness and all) and i started praying, didn't know what i was praying for or against but i prayed, spoke in tongues and cried till my soul felt content, it felt like i was given a breather. the pain relieved me and i was feeling a lil better but that voice will not stop telling me that it was the end.
with the little strength i wrote somethings down in my journal, telling God that i didn't understand what was going on in my body, psalm 23 and little goodbye notes to everyone that mattered to me with tears streaming down my eyes (If they ever found the journal that is)
Trust me, it was not easy at all, i felt stupid for writing it and at the same time i felt really convinced that it was the end, i thought of not sleeping at all, but i prayed some more and some more till i slept off.
I woke up, without pain, without the numbness.
"I don't know whats wrong with my body, please save me" and he did exactly that.
The rest of that week wasn't so much fun and all but i went through it with Gods help, by Friday i can in his presence rejoicing and now more than ever sure why he has me here and pumped to get it all done before its time to go home to him.
Who are you?
Thats all i want to know. make known yourself to me who you are, your essence, your principles, your process, your works, your power, your majesty, your all. Everything. Let me know who you are.
This was me yesterday, some guts i have right? but i have just been on this journey with him and listening to different peoples opinion of who God is, it was just enough for me and i wanted to hear from him myself. i wrote this having absolutely no idea that he would respond the way he did and so quickly.
I know i still said the prayer this morning, but still didn't expect an answer.
There are so many things i know that my mind can't still wrap around. he came through less than 24 hours later after writing.
This morning i was chatting with my best friend and still teasing him that he got to work early as its never the case with him *side eye* (not like he would read this sef) and out of the blue he sends me this bible verse, let me point out that Sope doesn't send me Bible verses like that unless the need arises which has been just once in recent time.
Now are you going to praise God with me?!?