Dear Father.

I wrote this in my prayer journal after i heard that Goldie died. I decided to share this because i kind of just felt the need to.

  

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                                                                                             15^th Feb, 2013

Dear God,

I know people die everyday. Even when we are not aware at all, all over the world. But its hits you when its someone you can put a name and face  to *sigh*

After death, that’s it. No more trying to live for you, I read “Pray for her soul” and your words clearly says after death judgement? Means there is so much “praying for the soul” that can be done after. They are really gone. Sadly, a lot of people will go back to their lives after this.

I’m not anywhere close to where I want to be in you, so not. This. Is. A. wake. Up. Call.

Please, please. Help me.

I want to confidently write down someday “When you hear I am dead, don’t believe because – then just then will I be more alive- alive in Christ”

I want to confidently write that, please Lord. Everything just seems so insignificant all of a sudden. I want you, I want more of you. Help me.

I don’t care what the world thinks, I want to be all about you. I am all about you, nothing more, nothing less.

Because at the end of the day, the walk with you is a personal walk.

Thank you so very much for the gift of life, Life is indeed a gift because with life there is still hope, hope for an inheritance…Thank you for the opportunity you are giving me again to chase after you and your kingdom.

I am not better. No special talent. I still roll my eyes when I get sent on errands. I still have negative thoughts, I still battle with my flesh, I still judge people, I wrestle with the voice that is contrary to what I believe in my head, I still keep quiet about my faith so people wont say “Your own is too much” I don’t love my neighbor, not to talk of loving them as myself, not like I have a greater measure of grace. I. Am. So. Not. Worthy. But you count me worthy.

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(K)night Walker

In the spirit of Love.

*                                                     *                                              *                                          

I looked into the night sky,
Shining below, the numerous stars and the smiling moon.
I had to walk under this beautiful scene,
I let my legs sink into the sands and with every step, I felt a lot more confident than the last.

Then I saw you, still, staring ahead into the ocean, oblivious of the world.
I envied you, I wanted that,
You turned and looked in my direction,
The unmistakable blue eyes drew me closer.
No words.
You looked and saw my soul

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Random-Rants

Hi.

Happy February 2013. Truthfully, this is not a rant. I don't have a title and i have many random stuff i want to write about and i have one update to give by popular demand (How i got home) from my last post.

Here it goes;

• I am trying to write now, a friend of mine wants to help me get a writing gig and asked me to write something  and i promised to write it today and send it by Tuesday (Which is today because its past 00:00) anyways, after prayer today, i had the perfect story-line-ish to write about, I write better in the middle of the night so i ''postponed'' to my creative hours then...... My Biro stopped working *Sigh* I've gone to everywhere in this house to check for a red or black biro, i didn't find, I. WONT. USE. BLUE. BIRO. (the devil is a liar) *Hot tears* i decided to type directly from my brain, it just never comes out right :( I'm getting a new biro tomorrow, well if i get the money! -_____- 

• Big girls don't cry, Yes. The fact has been established now abi? who is arguing with you? But who said i was a big girl? X__X I cried! Not because i was sad or anything but out of gratitude, and surprise. I went through my blog and realised how personal this blog is, wow! i've really put myself out there on here, but i'm so grateful because i can come back here look back and see how far i have come! i cried.. silent cry that just means "Thank You"

•  Ever been praying about somethings and for some people and you can watch you prayers for other people being answered and you are wondering "Lord, you need to go back and see my request list errmmmm....i also said ask for something(s), why did you skip that part?" Well.... I think i need to have another talk with God. :) 

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