I get on my knees...

Posted by Tomi O on Monday, January 28, 2013 with 25 comments
"Its the 24th and I've spent more time on my knees this year than the whole 2012" - Me

I fall on my knees and ask why?
I fall on my knees to understand why?
I fall on my knees to know why you forsake me?
I fall on my knees to know why everyone else sees it except me?
I fall on my knees!


I fall on my knees to remind you that I waited on you for 3days to give me answers?
I fall on my knees to remind you of what you say.
I fall on my knees to wonder why you let me pick my last money to go seek vague answers.
I fall on my knees to wonder.


I fall on my knees to ask why.
I fall on my knees to ask why I'm different?
I fall on my knees to ask why I am so aware of what seems oblivious to the rest of the world?
I fall on my knees to ask why?
I fall on my knees to ask why its when I consciously handed my life over to you it became harder.
I ask why its when I submitted for directions I got nothing!

I fall on my knees to ask.
I fall on my knees to seek.
I fall on my knees to knock.
I fall on my knees and found.
I fall on my knees and the doors Open.
Where is my "given"?
I fall on my knees to take doubt away.

"Maybe you are speaking through the silence" I console myself, but this silence isn't even loud enough!
I fall on my knees again!
I believe in no one else but you.
You've made me happier in the past few month, I know that wasn't me.
So why then would you make me take steps backward?
I fall on my knees again - I ask - Take it all away!

I fall on my knees to say "I'm sorry"
I fall on my knees to declear my love for you
I fall on my knees to praise you.
I fall on my knees Lord!!!

Once again. Take me as I am and do not let go.

Song that I recently stumbled upon "Praise you in the storm - Casting Crowns"

"I'll praise you in this storm, I would lift my hands. You are who you are, no matter where I am. Every tear I cry, you hold in your hands, you never left my side, though my heart is torn, I'll praise you in this storm"

P.S: I wrote this saturday morning after I discovered that I misplaced 500bucks when I checked my pocket trying to pay for the bus, between wondering how I lost the money and convincing myself I did the right thing by not collecting the money offered to me some 15-20mins ago, it all came crashing on me (Don't ask how I got home) funny how I feel a lot happy now, but I still decided to post this, because, people would read and think your life is a bed of roses, its NOT! This is also a reminder to me that I will always fall, what matters is who I turn to when I fall.

P.p.s: I did not cry on the bus! Whoop whoop. Someday, I will tell the story, my story!

What do you do when it all doesn't make sense? Even when God speaks?

Categories: , ,