Posted by Tomilola Olatunde on Tuesday, March 03, 2015 with 11 comments
Earlier today, having a discussion with a good friend, she asked me: “Jay, why do men cheat?”. Out of the blue like that. Wow. Why indeed? This is the question we all seem to want an answer to, so that maybe, just maybe, we can find a solution and our men can keep their eyes inside, and not look to play outside matches.
I was prepared to answer this question, because earlier this week, I had another conversation with a good friend, (oh well, life’s all about conversations isn’t it?), and in her wisdom she told me: “We are all capable of every kind of thing, every good, every bad, no one is exempt. We are all a broken version of the original, the intent of the heart of man is desperately wicked, who can know it”…Indeed, who can?
And then tonight, I’m trying to study the Word, and I open to Proverbs 27:20, I’ll quote the Amplified version so you get a better idea of where my thoughts are leading: “ Sheol (the place of the dead) and Abaddon (the place of destruction) are never satisfied; SO (THE LUST OF) THE EYES OF MAN IS NEVER SATISFIED.” Ha! Yes you cheating son of a gun, you are likened to the Hell and Death! But hold on, just a minute. We all are. All of us.
Now, that verse seems like I’m absolving all men who cheat and will cheat of their sin, moreover the bible has already said their lust can’t be satisfied, right? Right??! It is a tempting thought trust me, but, well, not quite. You see, as going to hell and being dead (in a spiritual manner) is a form of choice and decision, so is the third party, the lust of the eyes of man, a choice and decision. You choose to lust or allow yourself lust over money, drink and women. You choose to forget that you have a beautiful, God-fearing and inspiring wife at home, and decide deep in your heart to run after “ayonge” that can give you 50 Shades of pleasure, YOU CHOOSE! Starting from your thoughts, you choose to allow them go and wander in dangerous territory, and then the seed is sown…the actions will automatically follow.
Ehen, and before we put all the cheating blame on men, lemmi stop you right there: Women cheat. Full stop. I’m not blaming anyone, but a lust for a fruit outside what God said was okay to eat is what put us in this position in the first place. So ALL of us can cheat, forget the societal stereotype that Men are the greatest cheats.
I have fallen prey to these lusts myself. And at the end of the day, I feel horrible, looking back, it was never a worthy choice. Never. I had something better, so why wasn’t it enough?? Because I choose to have a lust…and like all lusts, it can never be satisfied.
So, man or woman, here are my thoughts:
1. First things first, Biko flee from that lust, because if you don’t, it will NEVER be satisfied.
2. Philippians 4:8, “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honorable, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” Think on that beautiful wife, think on the damage it may cause, think about your soul, think, think, think!
As I write to you, I’m thinking of this lovely woman who has caught my heart, who has forgiven me in spite of my mistakes, and I’m praying to God to take away my lust and for it to never resurface, because I want to do right by Him and by her also. I will think of her whenever this temptation wants to arise. Because I CHOOSE to think of her and place her over the lust.
3. Lastly, Romans 12:2 “…but be ye transformed by the renewal of our mind” Renew your mind daily through the Word.
I haven’t had peace all week, but finally my heart knows rest.