¨That is just how I am, Don't try to change me¨
Posted by Tomi O on Wednesday, September 03, 2014 with 19 comments
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Can I be brutally honest? Please, permit me.
I have heard alot of people say and I am sure i’ve said it also at some point.
¨That is just who I am, you either accept it or you don’t’’
‘’If you Love me, you will take me as I am and not try to change me¨
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| Even for the better? |
Or something along those lines, and for a while this was cool and normal to say. I particularly have a friend that says this but I am coming to an understanding that because ¨That’s how I am¨ shouldn't be an excuse for me to stay in a mess or an excuse to not change my bad behaviour.
Now, We have a sin nature. Should I now say ¨This is just who I am¨ everytime I sin? and that should be my excuse to stay sinning? or you have an anger issue and your excuse for everytime you lose it is ¨That’s just who I am¨ even to an average person it should sound ridiculous and the Bible says in [Romans 6:1-2 ¨What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin so that grace may increase? May it never be! How shall we who died to sin still live in it?¨]
We are called to live the life of Christ [ Gal 2:20 ]. I repent from saying things like this, because we believers will keep saying things like this until it becomes only what we know and live by. How then can we be separate?
I am in no way saying that you should be perfect and that is exactly the point.
let me explain.
The Life that you now live is Christ and NO! this is not just how you are, incase you’ve forgotten let me remind you of who you are…
You are the daughter/son of a King...A joint heir with Christ...God’s representative...A royal priesthood...A peculiar nation...You’re Loved..You’re seated with Christ...Clothed with righteousness…
You’re all that and so much more. I mean YOU HAVE THE LIFE OF CHRIST IN YOU C’mon!
Its time we start living like that.
It’s not just who you are but who you are in Christ. And when a loved one sees you and sees that who you really are and your current reality doesn’t reflect that, they help to bring you up to that image of Christ. [Proverbs 27:17]
So, you won’t keep saying ¨If you Love me, you won’t try to change me¨ but understand that just as God loves us so much that he won’t leave us the way he met us, your loved ones are also trying to bring out the best in you.
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| You don't want someone that genuinely loves you. |
Stop playing defence.
Trust the God in them.
Trust God.
Be transformed into his image [ And our faces are not covered. We all show the Lord’s glory, and we are being changed to be like him. This change in us brings more and more glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. 2 Cor 3:18]
….and contrary to popular opinion That’s not just the way you are!!
Have you come to an end of yourself? Have you come to a point where nothing else seems to be working out and you've tried all you could? Click to meet GRACE
Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts on this: most of the time when we say stuffs like that, we already know we are not doing something right but find it hard to accept it. Sometimes, no one is judging, its just guilty conscience
Well, I guess so. I just think its about time we do and act better.
DeleteThanks for stopping by! :)
I can say, I am guilty of this but now I understand, it's just the innate stubbornness that overshadows and a bit of self pride...like' who are you to change me or tell me what is right?' I like the view you took this from. May God help us all. Thanks for Sharing!
ReplyDeleteExactly, Glad we know better :)
DeleteIf you want to change someone with a nature of sin
ReplyDeleteGo to the One who has the power and start asking
Stand in the gap, intercede, give, pray, don't stop believing
Then act right towards that one. Love your neighbor, pray for those who use you, go the extra mile. God will touch the one you are believing for.
Dear Arike, you have the nature of God of God if you are born again. Recognize who you are in Christ and live like you know it. His image will manifest as you look in the word.
I agree with Iyunoluwa, it is our of stubbornness that we say things like that, right along with "Only God can judge me". The reality is the Bible encourages us to be around other believers and to accept exhortation done out of love.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to admit bad behaviors but its worst to dwell in it.
Great post!!
Yes, that response also tops the list! Yeah, the Bible does encourage us to be around believers that will exhort us out of Love.
DeleteGod def doesnt want us to stay down.
Thanks for stopping by
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteWho vexed my friend oo? All you Christians that do not want to change for Christ's sake...smh for you. God is super holy and perfect and we must endeavor to be like Him. He loves us extremely much and deserves the best from us. Please do not take God's patience for granted. A word is enough for the wise! You heard!!! Uniquely different with Fredilia
ReplyDeleteLol No one vexed me oh. I was just noticing a trend as I also started becoming defensive too.
DeleteHad to remind myself that if someone doesn't Love me, The person would care less what and what I do with me.
Thanks girl!!
Oh this is so true. I know someone who takes corrections very personally. It's to make you a better person, still, he'll use that "don't try to change me" excuse. smh
ReplyDeleteWhich really shouldn't be.
DeleteI wish people are more receptive to correction as an act of Love as against judgement
I had a friend who was just this way.
ReplyDeleteThis is a nudge...we need to quit being defensive using the don't change me line and do an internal check/sweep in line with the correction.
ReplyDeleteexactly, I totally agree. May the Lord continue to help us! Amen!
Deleteblessings......
ReplyDeleteThere is a saying by Dr. Ronn Elmore, “You can inform the people you love of what you want for them but you cannot transform them into living it out.”
In other words, ones transformation is ones own responsibility. You cannot change a person, the person responsible for that change is the person their self. So yes there is a certain about of acceptance you have to give to people to whom you have chosen to keep in your life. You either accept and adjust yourself and interact consciously knowing what you know or make a informed decision to either restrict your interaction with the person or cease communication all together.
No one wants to feel judged and sometimes even the best advise at times can come across as judgment which at times is received as "you are not good enough as you are."
We all have things to learn, its the point of life, learning, growing, evolving etc however what we learn, when we learn it, how we learn it and incorporate those lessons/learning is up to us not someone else.
Yeah, I totally agree with you that ultimately the change starts with us but sometimes we do not want to admit certain things that we do is wrong (Which is my point here) being receptive to being corrected out of Love for the growth of the other person involved.
DeleteBut human nature by default plays defence.
Criticisms are always forces that make you better...they're important for upliftments!
ReplyDeleteBtw I tagged you in my post "20 Things about me" kindly take up the challenge! Tainz...:D
Yes oh!
DeleteHehehe You too? Wait oh. On your blog or Instagram? Biko let me know oh