¨There are times when I feel so dry and far from God¨ - My God and I with Bolaji Deborah

FH: About Myself:

            I’m Bolaji Deborah Oluwafunmilayo, also known as Jakin Boaz.
I’m a Christian and just graduated this year from LAUTECH and should be
going for service this November. I am a Project Manager, presently into
skill acquisition and professional training programmes.

            I gave my life to Christ December, 2008 a month after I got
admitted into Lautech.






FH: The events that led to making the decision:

            Though I followed my parents to church and knew the importance
of prayer and fasting, I didn’t know God until I got admitted into Lautech.
As usual on getting to school, I started attending a Baptist church with my
roommate Dolapo. I was opportuned to meet young men and ladies that were so
vibrant and loved God and they were also living a purposeful life. All of
these made me to have a rethink and also encouraged me  to give my life to
Christ.
FH: Challenges I have experienced in my work with God:*

            I have experienced many but will talk on two major ones.
a)      *The need to become a better person*: being the fact I am a
choleric (a born leader), wherever I get to, it only takes a while for me
to have to take up leadership responsibilities. On getting to Lautech and
giving my life to Christ, I became the prayer coordinator of my church in
school in 200L. I was used to talking to people rudely, ordering people
around and getting things done my own way. Before I gave my life to Christ,
I didn’t see anything wrong in these things but as I began my journey with
God, I realized there was a need for a change. I didn’t know how to be
patient, I didn’t know how to love in God’s way, I couldn’t tolerate
people, I saw myself as perfect and not lacking anything and hated when
people give excuses for not getting their work done. Before I knew it I was
having so many issues with my roommate, hostel mates, church members and
people around. I had the challenge of learning to deal and lead people with
my heart and not my head.
b)      *Secondly, challenges with my health*: I have allergy for harsh
weather condition which resulted in consistent cold and catarrh and most
times leads to malaria. My department in school was so demanding, the
leadership responsibility upon me in church was much. I had to study and do
a lot of school assignments and I also had to spend quality time in the
place of prayer, studying my bible and fasting. It was so challenging
because I was always sneezing, having runny nose, had to take cold and
catarrh drugs which required me to rest a lot. Before I knew it, I was
lagging behind in school and also started having spiritual attacks because
as a prayer warrior you stand at the war front for the church. It got to a
stage I knew I was a walking corpse.
FH: Practical steps I took to deal with the challenges:

1)      Concerning the issue of character, I had to take off my garment of
pride, apologized to my roommate and everyone I could apologize to. I also
spoke with my Pastor (Eruke Tauna) and some Christian folks about it. They
encouraged me not to give up, that I could be better if I was willing to
submit totally to the Holy Spirit. I must say that those periods were not
easy at all, I had to walk up to people to talk about it, I cried, took the
blame and apologized. Though not all the relationships were restored
especially with my roommate. I must say that I am not yet there but am
getting better by the day.

2)      Concerning my health, I prayed to God to heal me and the word He
gave me was “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect
in (your) weakness” 2 Corinthians 12:9. I struggled with my health
throughout my stay in school and am still believing God for His healing.
But I honestly don’t know how I made it through in school, how I was among
the best 10 students out of about 200 students that graduated from my
department this year, It was a Miracle, how I was never rushed home because
I was sick was indeed a Miracle. I remember I was telling a friend of mine
(Dami) when we were about to graduate that I was sick and tired of my
health and she said even me that is perfectly okay could not achieve all
you have achieved in your stay in Lautech, I have all the reasons to bless
God.
FH: Times in my walk with God when I don’t exactly feel top notch:

      There are so many times I can’t even count when I feel so dry, so far
away from God like there is no fuel in my tank. No Christian can actually
avoid that moment(s), even David went through such (Psalm 42), this is
needed for growth.

What I do in such times is to be sincere with myself and check to know what
could be wrong.

I go over my favorite bible chapters (Psalm 27, 91, Isaiah 41 and so on). I
also speak to my spiritual friends such as Deborah, Ay, Tope, Dami etc, I
also seek for counsel from my Pastor (Pst. Sina) and my Spiritual father
(Pst Lakin). I spend time in the place of prayer and at times I go for
personal retreats.
FH: My take on sin and how I think we can overcome sin:

      There is no how one continues in sin and expects to grow spiritually.
There are so many things we see, hear and watch these days that are killing
our spirit. You can’t block your ears and eyes because whether you like it
or not, you will come across these things daily on tv, radio, internet,
neighbourhood and even at home.

One thing I will say is that we should know and be sincere with ourselves.
If you know you have problem of lust, you should screen the movies you
watch, the sites you browse when online, what you say with your friends,
what you think and meditate on. Likewise, anyone having issues with hatred
should stay away from drawing conclusions on people’s behavior, be
contended with whatever you have, learn to tolerate people and many others.

Getting an accountability patner will also help a lot. Speak to your
someone (it could be your Christian friend, your pastor or your mentor,
just make sure that the person has got your back) about the sin you are
struggling with, ask for their advice, tell them the steps you will be
taking, tell them to check on you at intervals to see if you are doing well
and also tell them to join you in prayer.

      One must not forget that the flesh does not have power over sin, only
the spirit does. Always make sure you feed your spirit daily by studying
and meditating on the word of God and also praying and fasting.
FH: Most Remarkable time/season of my life:*

      That was when I was led by the Holy Spirit to stay back in Ogbomoso
for my IT, left to me I wanted to come to Lagos. It wasn’t easy for me
because the pay was so small. During that period, I had time to really
speak to God and I discovered so many things I didn’t know about myself. I
got a clear understanding of God’s purpose for my life and God also gave me
a new name “JAKIN BOAZ” which means security and stability (2 Chronicles
3:15-17 Message bible).

FH: My relationship with God today:

      I am really learning a lot daily, I have come to realize that without
Him, I am nothing. I hear God say to me always that He has not brought me
this far and leave me.
FH: Words of encouragement to people in whatever phase they are right now:

 I will say to everyone out there to draw near to their Creator, He
knows everything about you, your weakness and strength. He will not and
never leave you nor abandon you. You are a work in progress, your life
might not look like the vision God showed you but He is not through with
you.