Tears
Posted by Tomi O on Friday, November 08, 2013 with 3 comments
Hello Everyone,
I am supposed to be away but seemed like everyone did not get what i meant in my last post and people asking me why i've not posted on my blog in a while think i'm just being lazy *side eye Dolapo*
Anyway, I am here now - trying something new - As I will NOT consider myself a poet, I wrote something along those lines and in the next postssss is what you will be seeing so bear with me and my half-baked poetry and while you are bearing, enjoy
:)
Drip. Drip. They drop.
Little droplets, not mere drops.
Laced with emotions.
Tears
Expressing the heart. Tears
With every tear. Tears
Such burdens to bare. Tears
Not even for the care.
Please, stay clear - of me!
In, out, I breathe. Fresh air
The calm, I find.
In every psalm read
My palm to wipe the tear, the tears.
I really didn't need to hear it again
The flood came - at me - again
Emotions.
Burdens.
Cares.
Drip. Drip - again - the tears
The teardrops that teardown
Now, I can't afford a cheer.
This is my burden, I will bare.
Nothing but these tears.
What do you think? Honest answers please. Thanks!
Have you come to an end of yourself? Have you come to a point where nothing else seems to be working out and you've tried all you could? Click to meet GRACE
I am supposed to be away but seemed like everyone did not get what i meant in my last post and people asking me why i've not posted on my blog in a while think i'm just being lazy *side eye Dolapo*
Anyway, I am here now - trying something new - As I will NOT consider myself a poet, I wrote something along those lines and in the next postssss is what you will be seeing so bear with me and my half-baked poetry and while you are bearing, enjoy
:)
 |
| [source] |
Drip. Drip. They drop.
Little droplets, not mere drops.
Laced with emotions.
Tears
Expressing the heart. Tears
With every tear. Tears
Such burdens to bare. Tears
Not even for the care.
Please, stay clear - of me!
In, out, I breathe. Fresh air
The calm, I find.
In every psalm read
My palm to wipe the tear, the tears.
I really didn't need to hear it again
The flood came - at me - again
Emotions.
Burdens.
Cares.
Drip. Drip - again - the tears
The teardrops that teardown
Now, I can't afford a cheer.
This is my burden, I will bare.
Nothing but these tears.
 |
| [source] |
What do you think? Honest answers please. Thanks!
Have you come to an end of yourself? Have you come to a point where nothing else seems to be working out and you've tried all you could? Click to meet GRACE
I think it's not particularly necessary to rhyme in poetry. Perhaps if you are descriptive of your feelings and not constrained by the structure of the poem, it will have more of an impact on the reader
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, were you trying to express yourself through the poem or was it all made up? I'm asking because it does not seem heartfelt. It's a sad poem but it doesn't radiate sadness. I couldn't share the poet's sadness. Don't know if it's me but the word tear(s) seems overused. #myhonestopinions
ReplyDeletehttp://frediliadtruthuncensored.com/
Thanks alot for the constructive criticism. I've noted them and hopefully i get better at this :)
ReplyDelete